Sarah Vaughan Broken Hearted Melody

Michigan State University

I graduated from Michigan State University in 1961, began teaching at Kearsley High School in Flint, Michigan, thanks to George Daly, Superintendent of Schools then. Kearsley was only about three blocks from where my parents lived and so it was very convenient for me to take the place of a woman who had become pregnant and was on leave. I began teaching sophomores that year under the guidance of Edwin Stephon, a really great principal in whom I still believe strongly.

I grew up in Ohio, and attended Kent State University for two years before my father was transferred to Flint by the Buckeye Pipeline to become a supervisor for the company there. In that time between college years, I spent the summer in Illinois, working at a country club where I fell in love for the first time, suffered a broken heart, returned to Ohio, unable to continue my education at Kent State University, and so waited until winter term to enter Michigan State University. My transcript from Kent State University went to the University of Michigan which had a semester plan, but both Kent and State were on quarter plans which I liked better so I finally made it into Michigan State University.

I had no real interest in school then despite having done so well at Kent State because I was mending a broken heart, was emotionally unable to commit to anything, and frankly did not even try that first quarter to attend any but a few of my classes. My professors at Michigan State University proved to be kind men who saved me when I needed a friend, and gradually brought me through to begin a renewed interest in the academic work that I was there to complete.

So I made a few friends at the dorm where I lived, and only one person have I found besides myself in this alumni directory. I had forgotten the name of a close friend until just a few minutes ago to see if she responded. I guess a lot of these old time friends want to be forgotten and left alone as many did not respond so that we could all reconnect together sometime in the future.

I did write up a short statement and included a photo to be printed so that I have both my statement and my photo in this directory. Turns out to be funny in a way, as I ended the statement with a catchphrase which has now become the name of a catfood, and also is now a part of a campaign in our apartment building. I am actually using the catfood as it is a good recipe and my cat likes it. I had ended my statement saying "enjoying the good life." a trite enough phrase, but now I am seeing it everywhere.

Very amusing to me.

Impact News: Barack Obama Visits MSU

MSU Campus Tour

Strange Dreams

This morning I awoke from a weirdo dream that probably is due to the influence of Gwyneth Paltrow, because in this dream it was as if I were the Queen, either Elizabeth or Cleopatra, and frankly for awhile I was not really certain which was which. Because I was on a barge type boat of some kind, and the person who came through to me was my favorite uncle from my childhood, and in this dream he was loudly asserting himself to me and making me remember something that he had done for me, and I more or less thought of him as some kind of Sir Walter Raleigh. (I have a lot of Walters in my family). So in a sense I felt like Elizaeth, but because of the bargetype boat and the feeling of extreme warmth, I thought it could be Cleopatra. At any rate, my feeling was that it was an extremely unhappy life that I am leading as my uncle is wanting me to do something that I do not want, which is why I think it resembles the time that Elizabeth was being courted by one of the princes of France, but in this case, it seemed as though I am near the Mexican border, and these are Mexicans that I am supposed to ally myself with, and I am very resistant, as are all the men who are surrounding me as none of us wanted any of this matchmaking to happen at all. I felt a bit trapped, and I disliked the role of being a Queen as one was more a slave than a free person, so that it was a most unhappy situation, telling me that royals have no room for happiness ever in their lives.

I woke up from it wondering what the heck is this, and thank Heaven it is a dream and not reality, as frankly, that lifestyle had no appeal for me at all.

But I must admit that I have had memories of former lifetimes of eminent persons in which I never felt that way at all, so all I can say is that going back in time to relive a moment is a far different thing from a dream in which one is caught in a situation not to one's liking. I realized how much Elizabeth and/or Cleopatra had suffered in their role as Queen, and why it was not a desirable position to hold at all. In reality, if one knew the truth about these women, one would never want to have been them at all.

I decided finally that it was probably Elizabeth since I recall that Gwyneth played her recently in a film which I truly liked, so that for her to make me see myself a bit in Proof actually surprised me a lot. I have to admit that I liked her in that role as she gave it a strength of character that probably few other actresses would have done. Her lack of makeup impressed me as she is a natural beauty anyway, but it helped to understand the stress that she was enduring in her life in that person.

I re-edited this page as I got some hard feelings off my chest, but decided to keep them from disclosure publicly right now. Proof has helped me to see things in a way that I had not realized until now...I thought of my lottery games, my short stories, my novel..there can be many things...It is over...enough for now...as Mark Twain said in his short story Adam and Eve, Go dream better dreams. Lord, I hope so.






This is still working itself out. Proof helped a little.

The movie Proof

Proof is a very strange movie that strangely resembles my life a bit, and that is why I am discussing it now. I picked it up at the local library and so finally took the time to see this really interesting movie about a mathematics professor who is a genius and his daughter who is for all practical purposes very much like him. Anthony Hopkins plays the role of the much admired and highly revered mathematics professor, who makes spiritual visits to his daughter who has cared for him during the past five years. She is also a mathematical genius herself, and therefore, understands her father's idiosyncrasies about his work and his passion, solving problems and attempting to bring new theories to life.

As I am anything but a mathematician, I could not or would not identify with this film except in the strangest of ways as it soon showed me. Apparently, it is also based upon a stageplay, which I understand won a Pulitzer Prize. But the sorrow is that this film does resemble some aspect of my own life and it hit home with me, registered and has made me wonder a lot about it.

It is what one of my students called Psychodrama.

This is a case of samenesses along with opposites or just the reverse. It is a protect your own butt if you are the author or producer of a film, but not long ago, I saw another film about a writer who used a boyfriend or husband as her subject for her story/play which became famous and so in a way this film resembles that to me, other than that the writer/ author is not a boyfriend/husband or anyone I even know.

Because the movie was produced two years after my mother's death, I could possibly identify the father with my mother, but I do not do that except to note that in fact, I have spent more time than that with my parents, off and on again, and in fact, did finally spend four years with my father before his attempt to commit suicide but who remains alive, now living out of the state of Arizona. He is 95 at this writing. But my brother who does resemble only slightly the sister in the story in that he has been long away from the family, appearing only infrequently, but now lets me know that he does NOT want to take care of me, exactly opposite of plot and dialogue in film, does do the same as the sister and sells the house out from under me in the same but far more cruel manner than in this film. That hit me hard as I have been angry about that for a very long time. So in those respects, I could identify with the daughter and understand her anger, depression, and feelings. As I am a neatnik, I won't allow dirty dishes to pile up so was distressed to see her house and kitchen is such a mess. I am the opposite of that also. As for the funeral, only immediate family at my mother's funeral, no pouring out of friends as she wanted it that way and got what she wanted. Only my brother, his wife, father, and myself show up at her funeral despite her having had many wonderful friends all her life long. She has not yet had a newspaper article even written up about her death. I notified the closest members of the family by phone.

I am angry with both my dad and my brother, but I stay civilized. The movie has brought about a realization that truth and fiction are pretty closely intertwined, whether by accident or design I don't know. I never heard of the author of this play or movie until I just picked it up at the library. But it hit a chord with me. I hope that my dad will soon be reunited with his wife of many years as he wants so much. It is all sorrow for now, but I am moving away from the area soon and perhaps things will change.

Proof trailer

I just saw this movie...strange how some real life situations are so much like this movie...I am trying to figure this one out.