Horrible October

This month has been the most exasperating that I have had in a while and I hope never to have another like it. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong but I am struggling to get through it, hoping that November with the Breeder's Cup will finally get me into the financial strata that I wish to be. A lot depending upon how I do at the races in early november and it is guaranteed to be an exciting two days of championship horseracing.

I was reminded of my years of adventure tripping back in time again recently when in the middle of the night I had a vision of the SunKing in a profile type setting emphasizing his nose but also his youth as it was very black and white in appearance to me. Then came the remembrance of the death and execution of Marie Antoinette with whom I had been compared when teaching in Southern California. I realized all of California had been a part of this huge joke about the "slow guillotine" which referred to smog then but also to Louis King, a professor at one of the local universities who taught some of us a bit of sociology then...as I look back now and see how all this was played out, I realize a lot of setups contributed to what became known as Watergate, involving President Nixon then.

If I had known then what I know now, I wonder what would have happened...but suffice it to say I did not know much of anything then in comparison to what I have learned in the past decade or so here in Arizona.

I am putting on hold my novel on Alexander due to computer problems. I like the netbook but my material is on a computer that has been compromised so many times I do not trust it to use it any longer, and my concept of the book has truly changed since I began it.

I once upon a time began a book on Louis XIV also in which again I was a bit paranoid about the idea that someone could rip me off by reading and copying all my thoughts and once I began it I cut it off so that I would not be having my thoughts stolen away from me.

I watched the video Versailles, Dream of a King, which one of the women at the Louis XIV discussion group had mentioned and was very impressed with muc of it. I again remembered things which I had seen in my trance situations and have left remain dormant. I could try to write a book on the King also but it will take a long time and a new computer to do it. I don't trust many in computerville much.

I continue to discuss with myself all these experiences which I underwent, and try to determine why it is that one can be blessed with that kind of recollection in a given time such as this one. It has taught me to value this time period for what it is pertaining to myself, but I admit that I learned much from those time periods to compare the changes in environment between then and now. None had electrical or technological systems such as we know now...All had to invent and make up their own form of entertainment.

We are a very much more passive lot of people today than people of previous ages who had to act to get anything done. All this technology may be for the good but it has its drawbacks as well. But once we have it, we become so dependent upon it we fail to see the truth of what it does to us and for us.

I have x dollars to get to November 2d on and that concerns me a lot...Not enough money at all. I stretch it out as much as possible but it is rough doing.

Imagine having had a financial minister take care of all your financial needs...Louis had Colbert to do his work for him even though I remember a story I read about how Louis showed off the Versailles to a banker who was visiting so that he could get some money from him...

Well, I am probably going to regret putting my pittance on here so will erase it now. Just continuing to use this as diary more than exhibitions as frankly, I don't expect too much from this blog now. I rarely read any previous posts and anything that I have said is only repeated now and then to refresh my memory. I did learn that common thread that has enabled me to learn of these past and former lifetimes...I cannot explain it...it is too strange and too unusual for anyone to make sense of but suffice it to say that the being that exists to have been all these men has been revealed to me so that I understand it. It is that wee voice from within that one is supposed to listen to and thus learn from...

I think it is that thing we call soul after all...and frankly, it has to have intelligence to make itself known to those with intelligence...if I am able to explain this properly.

But I shall try to get this concept articulated to be comprehended...there are many tracks within the human mind...the one that is in operation now is one that has been educated to use a typewriter, has learned a language skill, and is that which is known and has an identity as a person who is the Me that is doing all the work of writing this out...within this same person is another intelligent force that is capable of communication through the same language but is a separate mental process than the "me" but which communicates to me its being so that I recognize that it is a separate part of "me" which apparently is that which belongs to each one of the various other entities...I thought of it as a the vine, and all the identities of each other lifetime as the cluster of grapes hanging from the vine.

So long as I had that to ride upon I could then enter into the lives of the other persons who I had "been" when I gravitated into them and learned the pieces of their lives...that is the connection which when I decide to write on any of them, I can find and use to learn once more some of the pieces of the lives of the past.

It is a thread that is within me that lets me go back into time and even in the present is there for me to tape into when I choose to learn something if I decide to do it...

I know that this is not a very well stated definite explanation but it will have to do for now as I have to close and get back to my apartment. Closing for now.