I do not know which computer is actually better, windows or mac, but I am going to buy a mac next time so that I will have both to compare and learn for myself which I prefer.
I do not like the fact that virus's can occur and ruin your computer. I do not like the fact that there are so many scams that way. One does not know who to believe or what to believe as there appear to be as many persons in computerland who are like bad mechanics in service stations in the state of Georgia. Georgia is notorious for their service owners at gas stations trying to hoodwink you into getting something repaired on your car which is not necessary. Unfortunately, I believe that computers do the same with the various repair needs.
I am reading a book called Digital Fortress by Dan Brown, author of the DaVinciCode.
It is about computers and people who know how to use them professionally in a way that pc owners need never worry.
I have only begun reading it so I will discuss it later. Naturally, the plot has a serious problem with a special computer who has at last met up with its annihilation...it is just taking off! I have had a serious problem and learned quickly about the scam aspect of this thing called computer programs.
Yours Truly
Janet Fauble at home
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Preceding Posts
My favorite movie as a child was So Dear To My Heart. I fell in love with Bobby Driscoll then and have never forgotten him. I had a childhood boyfriend in first grade whose name is Jay Bergman. He moved away that year and I never saw him again, but he looks a lot like both Bobby Driscoll and Bob Wagner. I have placed videos here of both Bobby Driscoll and Robert Wagner as they were my first teenage and elementary grade movie star crushes. I was in love with both and have remained in love with them throughout the years. I did see Bob Wagner in person once at Santa Anita Racetrack, a thrill of my life. I always loved him and will always do so as he is one of the nicest men in the world. Sadly, Bobby Driscoll died young. He was a great childstar.
I dated a man by the name of Jim Wagner. He was a very nice man who is probably and will always remain as one of the sweetest memories of my life with men. The reason I liked Knocked UP so much is that the men were nice men, loving and kind. In true life, it seldom ever works out that way. I have met a few really kind and thoughtful men, but we never bonded in a way that caused us to stay true til the end...
But before I ever met real life love affairs, I had my teenage and childhood crush. Jay is and was my first boyfriend and I never have forgotten him. He wore his hair the same way that Bobby Driscoll and Bob Wagner wore theirs, with the part in the side. I walked him home from school, believe it or not! We were best friends in first grade and I had perfect baby teeth then...
I dated a man by the name of Jim Wagner. He was a very nice man who is probably and will always remain as one of the sweetest memories of my life with men. The reason I liked Knocked UP so much is that the men were nice men, loving and kind. In true life, it seldom ever works out that way. I have met a few really kind and thoughtful men, but we never bonded in a way that caused us to stay true til the end...
But before I ever met real life love affairs, I had my teenage and childhood crush. Jay is and was my first boyfriend and I never have forgotten him. He wore his hair the same way that Bobby Driscoll and Bob Wagner wore theirs, with the part in the side. I walked him home from school, believe it or not! We were best friends in first grade and I had perfect baby teeth then...
God and Goddesses
When I was at Kent State Universtiy, I took a philosophy class in which women are discriminated against by the professor. He did not think that women had any place in philosophy. In the game of careers, one ends up either a millionaire or a philosopher. If only in life that were the case!
At any rate, we had to write a paper with the theme How I am Honest with Myself, and I was then a prepsychology student, and so I was very involved in psychology and religious beliefs. The paper that I wrote I have kept to this day as it was about how religious beliefs affect us. Little did I know then what I know now, but I remember most of all Karen Horney's self-actualizing person. Whether that professor knew it or not, he did set me off to a search that ended up in my coming to be honest with myself now in a more forthright manner than I had the capability of doing then.
Women have come a long way since then, but mostly, I would agree that sex meaning gender has been a problem in society for aeons and centuries.
While I have become reconciled to the fact that I have had the luxury of time, for reasons I may or may not explain, this effort to look into the past has been one of the most rewarding studies that I have ever made.
I have been schooled in many things in life, teaching, court reporting, travel agent, mixology, word processing, general business, etc..etc.etc. but this self probing led me to the history of persons who I would otherwise have negelected. Frankly, world leaders do not really impress me very much as I accept them as we all do, merely being a group of books on a shelf, a curriculum of study for a potential phd and professorship, and pictures in a history book for school children to learn and forget.
They never are real people, but subjects for movies, t.v. shows, and books and magazins, and all of that is always reduced to a silly caricature which does not do any of the topics justice at all.
I learned a lot about myself in the process. I have always had masculine traits and have likewise always recognized it. I was fastest runner in first grade, I argued incessantly with boys and girls alike, and played with the boys in my neighborhood, and beat up a few when I had the size to do it. As I aged, and stayed small and petite in size, I have to give up my pugnacious spirit to become more acceptable to my friends. Yes, I walked with my baby buggy down the street, played mama, but I was a tomboy until I finally entered college and learned other social skills.
Life is a learning process. Some of us, due to our own temperament and makeup, make more of it than others do. Some of us tackle it headon, and do our own individual best to be ourselves, trying always to understand ourselves along the way.
I have learned most of all that while life will end at some point for each one of us, each of us will survive in a spiritual way, and may return to live life again in a different place, a different time, and a different body.
I have not discussed my psychic abilities here except for the flight of TWA 800, about which I am still very interested. I am sure that in the end the explanation enables the victims relatives to gain money from Boeing or TWA for negligence or mechanical failure of some kind. The real truth of the mystery is probably not what the public will be able to hear. I remember the night well. I had had a burning in my stomach when I was in an argument with my dad, and I remember saying to him, stop it, you are killing me. Two hours later, this plane went down. Searching this here for this blog I learned of its vital statistics which are numbers matching to me. I am very conscious that there is more to life than meets the eye, and I see an uncanny connection to me and my dad that evening.
Life goes on. It will always remain a mystery. For now, I will post this and return in a short while.
At any rate, we had to write a paper with the theme How I am Honest with Myself, and I was then a prepsychology student, and so I was very involved in psychology and religious beliefs. The paper that I wrote I have kept to this day as it was about how religious beliefs affect us. Little did I know then what I know now, but I remember most of all Karen Horney's self-actualizing person. Whether that professor knew it or not, he did set me off to a search that ended up in my coming to be honest with myself now in a more forthright manner than I had the capability of doing then.
Women have come a long way since then, but mostly, I would agree that sex meaning gender has been a problem in society for aeons and centuries.
While I have become reconciled to the fact that I have had the luxury of time, for reasons I may or may not explain, this effort to look into the past has been one of the most rewarding studies that I have ever made.
I have been schooled in many things in life, teaching, court reporting, travel agent, mixology, word processing, general business, etc..etc.etc. but this self probing led me to the history of persons who I would otherwise have negelected. Frankly, world leaders do not really impress me very much as I accept them as we all do, merely being a group of books on a shelf, a curriculum of study for a potential phd and professorship, and pictures in a history book for school children to learn and forget.
They never are real people, but subjects for movies, t.v. shows, and books and magazins, and all of that is always reduced to a silly caricature which does not do any of the topics justice at all.
I learned a lot about myself in the process. I have always had masculine traits and have likewise always recognized it. I was fastest runner in first grade, I argued incessantly with boys and girls alike, and played with the boys in my neighborhood, and beat up a few when I had the size to do it. As I aged, and stayed small and petite in size, I have to give up my pugnacious spirit to become more acceptable to my friends. Yes, I walked with my baby buggy down the street, played mama, but I was a tomboy until I finally entered college and learned other social skills.
Life is a learning process. Some of us, due to our own temperament and makeup, make more of it than others do. Some of us tackle it headon, and do our own individual best to be ourselves, trying always to understand ourselves along the way.
I have learned most of all that while life will end at some point for each one of us, each of us will survive in a spiritual way, and may return to live life again in a different place, a different time, and a different body.
I have not discussed my psychic abilities here except for the flight of TWA 800, about which I am still very interested. I am sure that in the end the explanation enables the victims relatives to gain money from Boeing or TWA for negligence or mechanical failure of some kind. The real truth of the mystery is probably not what the public will be able to hear. I remember the night well. I had had a burning in my stomach when I was in an argument with my dad, and I remember saying to him, stop it, you are killing me. Two hours later, this plane went down. Searching this here for this blog I learned of its vital statistics which are numbers matching to me. I am very conscious that there is more to life than meets the eye, and I see an uncanny connection to me and my dad that evening.
Life goes on. It will always remain a mystery. For now, I will post this and return in a short while.
summing up a bit
I have my days and nights reversed right now due to the fact that it is simply too hot to stir outside daytime. It is cooler at night and I do not like the a.c. running constantly so I shut it off for a few hours.
Well, I realize that I will probably edit and re-edit these pages as I think about them. I wanted to bring this together in a way to where I could better understand it myself, and at the same time, share it with the few friends with whom I have discussed this already.
It bothers many people to think that as a woman today I am remembering lifetimes in the male person. Believe me, I have already read enough about Other people's beliefs in reincarnation to know that this is not unusual or abnormal at all. People appear to change sexes often if one can believe anything that pro believers of reincarnation say.
I am a natural skeptic. I do not believe everything that is said and sold on the face of the earth, as I have learned to protect myself from being considered a gullible fool. I will admit that if anyone would ever have told me any of this I would never have believed it.
I am an unmarried woman. I have had love affairs in my youth, but fortunately, for me the men with whom I was so infatuated did not really want to marry at that time, despite some saying that they did, they truly did not, and as a result I am single and believe it or not, very happy about that state of solitude.
I grew up in an age where marriage was the single target for most women, but our local newspapers had already let us know the statistics of men to women and that meant that some women would go unwed rather than wed. I became one of those women.
The truth is that I am a strong-willed woman with a mind of her own, and I always stood up to men in my life rather than always submitting to their will, and that alone is probably the main reason that I did not marry.
I usually have to have my own way. Unless I could find someone who is truly compatible with me, there is no use of thinking of such things as partnerships and alliances when we are in discord. I do not want to think of marriage as a battle zone despite the fact that is what it becomes many times.
Because I was intelligent, had a degree, and had opinions of my own, I frightened many men away from me. I was a bit like a Granny Goose cartoon in southern California which read Are You Man Enough for Me?
I did float from one man to another pretty easily, and at some times in my life, I was actually in love, and willing to probably tie the knot, but the gentleman in question always had some hangup that was not easy to overcome...most had been married already and did not want to rush back into it, despite saying that I am the kind men want to marry. The real reason for that is that I am too easy going at times, and possibly led some to believe that I would be a pushover in a wedded state.
I escaped the altar three times to be specific. I called them my 3 r's as they were all in Arizona and all had names that began with R. I had a couple of fellas in California who also said that they wanted to marry me, but it just didn't happen...and golly gee whiz! I lucked out again.
So essentially, I have always been looking for that right man...sad to say, it turned out that he may be me after all...as the kids at Center had said about me, how can she marry herself? Won't elaborate at this point but the topic of my getting married never ceased to trouble my students.
Learning that I had been a man in the past, if reincarnation is the case in this mystery of my having lived these lives, I wondered who on earth would even consider me at this time in my life, and why? It is not like I can keep my mouth shut about this experience for it has naturally perplexed and bothered me for this many years.
We all want definite answers. The only thing I know that is definite and is sure is that I experienced these to remember them and to record them...Now I am trying to solve the mystery of them so as to satisfy my need to know.
In a dream like state recently, the Genghis Khan part of me said that I would not be able to recall anything about his life as long as Khan is within me. I have been thinking about that, trying to understand that as well.
My theories are many, but one is that like the Russian Santa Claus wooden figures where one Santa is buried inside another, and one unwraps that to find another Santa, and then another, and another, til you reach the end. Somehow that is what these lifetimes seem to me, one warrior within another warrior to another and another and another...
Which brings me to Jesus. The peaceful healer and counselor rather than the warrior. Believe it or not, some of his following did want him to do battle, but he said no, that to turn the other cheek, to use other methods than striking back is the correct way to bring change into the world.
As I understand the power of Jesus and His message, I will not dwell on that. One person within the Louis XIV discussion group could not believe that Louis XIV had been Genghis Khan since Genghis had not been Christian and that Louis XIV is the most Christian king. I am well aware of that as that is the one lesson that stands out most to me. I have come to believe that we are all a product of our environment and what lessons we learn from it.
Faith is a part of family, and most children do as their parents, regarding the rule of the Ten Commandments. Honor they father and thy mother. Most keep the faith of their fathers and mothers in their own lives, and most keep whatever habits that parents instill into them. Unless they are rebel children, and I won't discuss that either at this point.
Since I have shared the fact that intimate relationships did occur in the memory aspect of my reliving yesterday I believe that only the person who lived that can recall it or that entity which we call God.
I do not know which will be more difficult for people to believe, that I had been any one of these persons, or that I am God.
I will let whoever may read this dwell on that for awhile and will pick this up later...
Well, I realize that I will probably edit and re-edit these pages as I think about them. I wanted to bring this together in a way to where I could better understand it myself, and at the same time, share it with the few friends with whom I have discussed this already.
It bothers many people to think that as a woman today I am remembering lifetimes in the male person. Believe me, I have already read enough about Other people's beliefs in reincarnation to know that this is not unusual or abnormal at all. People appear to change sexes often if one can believe anything that pro believers of reincarnation say.
I am a natural skeptic. I do not believe everything that is said and sold on the face of the earth, as I have learned to protect myself from being considered a gullible fool. I will admit that if anyone would ever have told me any of this I would never have believed it.
I am an unmarried woman. I have had love affairs in my youth, but fortunately, for me the men with whom I was so infatuated did not really want to marry at that time, despite some saying that they did, they truly did not, and as a result I am single and believe it or not, very happy about that state of solitude.
I grew up in an age where marriage was the single target for most women, but our local newspapers had already let us know the statistics of men to women and that meant that some women would go unwed rather than wed. I became one of those women.
The truth is that I am a strong-willed woman with a mind of her own, and I always stood up to men in my life rather than always submitting to their will, and that alone is probably the main reason that I did not marry.
I usually have to have my own way. Unless I could find someone who is truly compatible with me, there is no use of thinking of such things as partnerships and alliances when we are in discord. I do not want to think of marriage as a battle zone despite the fact that is what it becomes many times.
Because I was intelligent, had a degree, and had opinions of my own, I frightened many men away from me. I was a bit like a Granny Goose cartoon in southern California which read Are You Man Enough for Me?
I did float from one man to another pretty easily, and at some times in my life, I was actually in love, and willing to probably tie the knot, but the gentleman in question always had some hangup that was not easy to overcome...most had been married already and did not want to rush back into it, despite saying that I am the kind men want to marry. The real reason for that is that I am too easy going at times, and possibly led some to believe that I would be a pushover in a wedded state.
I escaped the altar three times to be specific. I called them my 3 r's as they were all in Arizona and all had names that began with R. I had a couple of fellas in California who also said that they wanted to marry me, but it just didn't happen...and golly gee whiz! I lucked out again.
So essentially, I have always been looking for that right man...sad to say, it turned out that he may be me after all...as the kids at Center had said about me, how can she marry herself? Won't elaborate at this point but the topic of my getting married never ceased to trouble my students.
Learning that I had been a man in the past, if reincarnation is the case in this mystery of my having lived these lives, I wondered who on earth would even consider me at this time in my life, and why? It is not like I can keep my mouth shut about this experience for it has naturally perplexed and bothered me for this many years.
We all want definite answers. The only thing I know that is definite and is sure is that I experienced these to remember them and to record them...Now I am trying to solve the mystery of them so as to satisfy my need to know.
In a dream like state recently, the Genghis Khan part of me said that I would not be able to recall anything about his life as long as Khan is within me. I have been thinking about that, trying to understand that as well.
My theories are many, but one is that like the Russian Santa Claus wooden figures where one Santa is buried inside another, and one unwraps that to find another Santa, and then another, and another, til you reach the end. Somehow that is what these lifetimes seem to me, one warrior within another warrior to another and another and another...
Which brings me to Jesus. The peaceful healer and counselor rather than the warrior. Believe it or not, some of his following did want him to do battle, but he said no, that to turn the other cheek, to use other methods than striking back is the correct way to bring change into the world.
As I understand the power of Jesus and His message, I will not dwell on that. One person within the Louis XIV discussion group could not believe that Louis XIV had been Genghis Khan since Genghis had not been Christian and that Louis XIV is the most Christian king. I am well aware of that as that is the one lesson that stands out most to me. I have come to believe that we are all a product of our environment and what lessons we learn from it.
Faith is a part of family, and most children do as their parents, regarding the rule of the Ten Commandments. Honor they father and thy mother. Most keep the faith of their fathers and mothers in their own lives, and most keep whatever habits that parents instill into them. Unless they are rebel children, and I won't discuss that either at this point.
Since I have shared the fact that intimate relationships did occur in the memory aspect of my reliving yesterday I believe that only the person who lived that can recall it or that entity which we call God.
I do not know which will be more difficult for people to believe, that I had been any one of these persons, or that I am God.
I will let whoever may read this dwell on that for awhile and will pick this up later...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Further Explanation of Recent Sketches
I placed two more sketches of Alexander on here, and while I have many more that I will keep in my notepads I will not publish them here. They are too light and basically are again pictures of Alexander, or Louis, both in similar appearances, always astride a horse. I became very aware of how important the horse is to man in history.
And how sore and tiresome riding the back of a horse can become...Thank Heaven for the invention of the Automobile.
One sketch is of the helmet that I saw very upclose and very long actually as I saw each and every relief that had been designed in this helmed. I believe that this is the one he used at Gaugemela. Granted, I am seeing the helmet by itself, and not worn by the King...and I did not see the plumes that he wore which are placed into it later.
The other sketch that is of Alexander is that one time I saw him in full armor, most usual way of seeing him except the time that he is in the medical tent sitting on the gurney, as Alexander is almost always in military garb. Although the walk through Persepolis, and the meeting on the mountain top in Issus are in at ease clothing wear, chitons, or regular daily wear. I have had so many visions of Alexander that it is making me believe that we are living in an age of Alexander.
The other sketches are of Genghis Khan. As I was going to sleep, I heard my guide's voice ask me "do you want to see another one of your selves? And I knew almost immediately when I saw this very tall, large man enter the room with helmet on his head, dressed in formal attire, who he was before he was finally introduced formally by the guide as the great Mongolian leader. He impressed more forcefully than any other memory of any other leader had done. He had a magnetism that just simply made him appear giantsized, and I was so in awe of him that I could hardly believe it.
My sketches are bad but I was trying to really capture him as I saw him change from his entry to the last vision I had of him. He walked in, is a very black haired man, but he had his helmet on so that the hair could not be seen so well but his eyebrows and his moustache showed how dark he is in hair but he was rather light-skinned, and he had a following that came in after him. He always reminded me of a cover on a book about him. He is extremely handsome in features. He is so bold,so dynamic, that I am still so impressed with his aura that I never stop thinking about him and his ability to draw followers. He is like a magnet and is that powerful.
His face changed as the blackness which was in him soon changed to a kind of whiteness, and that is probably why I drew three sketches, as he changes from a look of utter hatred to surrender...He lost the hate that dwelled in him finally.
I had enough at that time. I could not take it...I did though try to learn if it could be true, and so that night I asked for proof...I went back in time to see war elephants charging down at me...there is nothing more fearful and frightening than war elephants....I had a dreadful fear, and I would not go back to learn anything more after that.
But because of all of these men, I began to think in terms of a great soul who would have to reincarnate time and time again always as a warrior, always a leader, and also always under the impetus of a belief in a God or Heaven of some kind.
I bought every book on Genghis Khan, learned his history, and am happy to say that there is little to know about him. He is one of the luckier men in history, having so litte truly known about his life and his decisions.
He was illiterate himself. But he valued education, and attracted men to him who he instructed to create languages, a form of education, and a codified law for his tribes. He is one of the most unique men in history, and eventually I could see that it would be easy for the soul of Alexander to have become that of Genghis Khan in a different time period.
Believe me, I have learned more about history on the face of the planet through just my spiritual teachings than I would ever otherwise have known.
Because of it, I wanted to know more, so I wanted to know who I had been first...and I did get a response, and learned that I had been cromagnon man. I had been a hunter, and I could see myself as I had been then...naked, caucasian, and muscular also...Then when clothed, I am a hunter, and like with GK, I had an experience in the jungle, all the foliage is huge and dense, and upon spying a boar rushing through, and a sabre toothed tiger, I again felt that same fear that I had had when I saw those war elephants, and the tiger so frightened me that I would never pursue that life after that either.
I learned that fear is a serious emotion and I have respect for it more than one can know.
So all this has been a lesson for me to learn, and I am still learning as I go.
I will let it be today, and make comments on what it means in a future post...tired out now.
And how sore and tiresome riding the back of a horse can become...Thank Heaven for the invention of the Automobile.
One sketch is of the helmet that I saw very upclose and very long actually as I saw each and every relief that had been designed in this helmed. I believe that this is the one he used at Gaugemela. Granted, I am seeing the helmet by itself, and not worn by the King...and I did not see the plumes that he wore which are placed into it later.
The other sketch that is of Alexander is that one time I saw him in full armor, most usual way of seeing him except the time that he is in the medical tent sitting on the gurney, as Alexander is almost always in military garb. Although the walk through Persepolis, and the meeting on the mountain top in Issus are in at ease clothing wear, chitons, or regular daily wear. I have had so many visions of Alexander that it is making me believe that we are living in an age of Alexander.
The other sketches are of Genghis Khan. As I was going to sleep, I heard my guide's voice ask me "do you want to see another one of your selves? And I knew almost immediately when I saw this very tall, large man enter the room with helmet on his head, dressed in formal attire, who he was before he was finally introduced formally by the guide as the great Mongolian leader. He impressed more forcefully than any other memory of any other leader had done. He had a magnetism that just simply made him appear giantsized, and I was so in awe of him that I could hardly believe it.
My sketches are bad but I was trying to really capture him as I saw him change from his entry to the last vision I had of him. He walked in, is a very black haired man, but he had his helmet on so that the hair could not be seen so well but his eyebrows and his moustache showed how dark he is in hair but he was rather light-skinned, and he had a following that came in after him. He always reminded me of a cover on a book about him. He is extremely handsome in features. He is so bold,so dynamic, that I am still so impressed with his aura that I never stop thinking about him and his ability to draw followers. He is like a magnet and is that powerful.
His face changed as the blackness which was in him soon changed to a kind of whiteness, and that is probably why I drew three sketches, as he changes from a look of utter hatred to surrender...He lost the hate that dwelled in him finally.
I had enough at that time. I could not take it...I did though try to learn if it could be true, and so that night I asked for proof...I went back in time to see war elephants charging down at me...there is nothing more fearful and frightening than war elephants....I had a dreadful fear, and I would not go back to learn anything more after that.
But because of all of these men, I began to think in terms of a great soul who would have to reincarnate time and time again always as a warrior, always a leader, and also always under the impetus of a belief in a God or Heaven of some kind.
I bought every book on Genghis Khan, learned his history, and am happy to say that there is little to know about him. He is one of the luckier men in history, having so litte truly known about his life and his decisions.
He was illiterate himself. But he valued education, and attracted men to him who he instructed to create languages, a form of education, and a codified law for his tribes. He is one of the most unique men in history, and eventually I could see that it would be easy for the soul of Alexander to have become that of Genghis Khan in a different time period.
Believe me, I have learned more about history on the face of the planet through just my spiritual teachings than I would ever otherwise have known.
Because of it, I wanted to know more, so I wanted to know who I had been first...and I did get a response, and learned that I had been cromagnon man. I had been a hunter, and I could see myself as I had been then...naked, caucasian, and muscular also...Then when clothed, I am a hunter, and like with GK, I had an experience in the jungle, all the foliage is huge and dense, and upon spying a boar rushing through, and a sabre toothed tiger, I again felt that same fear that I had had when I saw those war elephants, and the tiger so frightened me that I would never pursue that life after that either.
I learned that fear is a serious emotion and I have respect for it more than one can know.
So all this has been a lesson for me to learn, and I am still learning as I go.
I will let it be today, and make comments on what it means in a future post...tired out now.
Something New
Before I wrap this up and try to start another blog, as I am learning from this one, I hope to have this finished in 100 posts. I kept an ongoing sketch and notebook, and when I say sketchy, I meant sketchy. I am going to add a few more sketches from Alexander. I have many more from both Louis XIV and Alexander that I will not post, but I have posted those I think may be helpful to understand and to appreciate. Because I did speak up about these at either the Louis XIV website or the Alexander-Macedon website, I sometimes earned valuable feedback. I had well informed persons who were able to provide stories in history that appeared to help me to understand what I had learned through my self searching method.
One of those was the wedding of Susa. When asked one time what one would like to be able to know more about, one of the members said the wedding of Susa, so I purposefully asked myself if I could find anything about it. I did, and she in turn faithfully responded with a beautifully written piece about that wedding. It did match some of my memory, so I am including my clumsy drawing of that along with a few other pieces this morning.
Once I had seen the helmet that Alexander wore at Gaugemela. It was so covered with reliefs as to be unbelievable, the most amazing helmet that I have ever seen, so I had to draw it but being as protective as I am, I used wavy lines to indicate how well covered this helmet had been with relief type moldings.
One has to realize that Alexander had to have been measured, and taped, and reconstructed for the makers of his helmet, his cuirass, and his greaves to insure that each fit properly. There is no doubt that these men had to make these pieces of armament fit properly or he could not have managed to fight as well as he did.
I did think I should have a great toymaker make duplicates but as soon as I had seen all these, they disappear from memory as they are that significant and important to Alexander.
I just tried to capture what I could the next day. I have not done anything to any of my notes or sketches except to make the lines bolder by pressing harder with the pencil.
All along I have entertained the thought of penning children's books, and if I were to accomplish that finally, I would have an illustrator (professional) design the artwork. But as I have always been a natural at psychology (a friend once told me) I have also always had in mind the fact that this report as such might help psychologists/psychiatrists who would take it seriously. I have been influenced by authors/writers/researchers and I understand the value of such an experience.
Becuase I do not know for certain that this is evidence of anything more than what I have presented, as I likened myself yesterday to the owl that was a part of Louis XIV's labyrinthe in which Jean de Fontaine's fables are presented, I could see that it sounds as though I am under a kind of attack of some kind by each one of these warriors of the past.
If Carol Hubbard were to read this, I would admit here that my soul test gave me up as a warrior...I thought to myself Aha, that seems reasonable, doesn't it? I would not share that conclusion at facebook however...on another day, I could feel totally different.
At any rate, the idea is that the owl was being attacked by all the other birds in the air...and the idea struck me that perhaps all these internal revelations are like those birds in the air attacking the owl.
At any rate, I will post sketches now about Alexander and Genghis Khan.
One of those was the wedding of Susa. When asked one time what one would like to be able to know more about, one of the members said the wedding of Susa, so I purposefully asked myself if I could find anything about it. I did, and she in turn faithfully responded with a beautifully written piece about that wedding. It did match some of my memory, so I am including my clumsy drawing of that along with a few other pieces this morning.
Once I had seen the helmet that Alexander wore at Gaugemela. It was so covered with reliefs as to be unbelievable, the most amazing helmet that I have ever seen, so I had to draw it but being as protective as I am, I used wavy lines to indicate how well covered this helmet had been with relief type moldings.
One has to realize that Alexander had to have been measured, and taped, and reconstructed for the makers of his helmet, his cuirass, and his greaves to insure that each fit properly. There is no doubt that these men had to make these pieces of armament fit properly or he could not have managed to fight as well as he did.
I did think I should have a great toymaker make duplicates but as soon as I had seen all these, they disappear from memory as they are that significant and important to Alexander.
I just tried to capture what I could the next day. I have not done anything to any of my notes or sketches except to make the lines bolder by pressing harder with the pencil.
All along I have entertained the thought of penning children's books, and if I were to accomplish that finally, I would have an illustrator (professional) design the artwork. But as I have always been a natural at psychology (a friend once told me) I have also always had in mind the fact that this report as such might help psychologists/psychiatrists who would take it seriously. I have been influenced by authors/writers/researchers and I understand the value of such an experience.
Becuase I do not know for certain that this is evidence of anything more than what I have presented, as I likened myself yesterday to the owl that was a part of Louis XIV's labyrinthe in which Jean de Fontaine's fables are presented, I could see that it sounds as though I am under a kind of attack of some kind by each one of these warriors of the past.
If Carol Hubbard were to read this, I would admit here that my soul test gave me up as a warrior...I thought to myself Aha, that seems reasonable, doesn't it? I would not share that conclusion at facebook however...on another day, I could feel totally different.
At any rate, the idea is that the owl was being attacked by all the other birds in the air...and the idea struck me that perhaps all these internal revelations are like those birds in the air attacking the owl.
At any rate, I will post sketches now about Alexander and Genghis Khan.
Sketch of Infants
I had already told of the time that I watched all the infants parade before my eyes. Strangely, with King Louis XIV, it was all his infant children, but once with Alexander, it was all his military armament. Like counting sheep, and so I am placing the notes and sketch I drew of the infants here..
Monday, July 26, 2010
Trip to Library
I made a trip downtown via the light rail to return a library book and take some video for youtube. I don't think it will make youtube but I will try again with qik to see if I can get it to work right...am having a few problems with Sprint right now. If they want to beat Apple and Iphone their brand had better be a whole lot better instead of a whole lot worse...
So I took two shots with my camera as well, and I am going to post these here now..It is the station at the Burton Barr Library, downtown Phoenix public library, and these are very artistic and noteworthy...so I am posting them now...
Number of Sketches
I won't provide as many sketches on this blog for Alexander as I have done for Louis XIV for a variety of reasons...Size of the sketchbook being the main one, as my drawings of Alexander are much smaller in size since my book is smaller, and therefore, they are more compressed and frankly, pretty illegible. I did post one at Alexander-Macedon in which I tried to capture his likeness. I may try to draw this on a larger sketchpad so that I can post it here. Verbal portraits are sometimes better than poor artwork, but I will try to see if I can do this or not.
At any rate, I was suffering a lot awhile back, shortly after I had moved to this apartment. I had a terrible pain in my lower leg, and frankly, after one gets through these sessions with the past one cannot help but wonder if the pain in one's leg is mine or that of Alexander. I did not know what I had done besides lift lots of boxes to injure my shinbone region...It just gave me severe pain.
I did exercise it in the hot tub and lap pool at the fitness center. That helped a lot.
But for some reason while keeping my leg raised, I suddenly flashed back to a n Alexander. He had been injured by a rock that hit him in the back of the neck and had caused him to lose vision and other faculties at the time. In addition to that he had suffered an injury to his shinbone where the bone was splintered, and so he was in a medical tent when I saw him...he was on a gurney type platform, and he was enthusiastically directing everyone to do this, to do that, and to be so energetic, so lively, so enthusiastic that he truly inspired me. His hair was long, leonine, curled, freshly shampooed, and his body had been well oiled as I could see the oil shimmer off his skin...He had one leg up, just as I had been doing with my leg, and the other straight out, and despite his injuries, he was busy telling everyone what to do and how to do it...His enthusiasm and high spirits so impressed me that it helped me to come out of my doldroms, and I thank that scene for making me realize that I need not give in to the pain. Believe it or not, the pain did begin to subside, and I began then to have suspicions as to whether I had been reliving an old pain from his time or that my own leg was really giving me problems.
Naturally I had to look up that scene in a biography. I picked Plutarch's Lives...I got over my pain very quickly after that. I have never forgotten that Alexander was in far worse condition but had the positive spirit to move me so as he did then. I drew a sketch which I did post at AM and it was one of my better portraits of him. I really liked him then, and understood the infectious spirit that he had to instill in his soldiers...He is truly great in that image and recollection...
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Illegal Immigration
Arizona is currently the target of celebrities, cities, and even baseball teams since a law has been passed to enable law enforcement to be able to distinguish the legals and the illegals who walk the streets of Arizona.
The emotional reaction to this is uncalled for in my opinion since laws are supposed to be respected and enforced. The fact that America appears to be the rich neighbor attracts the poor of the neighboring nations south of the border, and it has become a very serious problem.
When I was teaching in Azusa, where we were half and half, Anglo and Mexicans, many illegal and unable to speak English, we have had this as a problem. Californians have a very strange attitude about which laws to enforce, and it is a very serious matter, like it or not.
LaRaza and Lulac, both Mexican American groups, have pledged to overtake the USA by numbers, and this has been ongoing since the 60's, and nothing has been done to prevent it.
Americans have been ostrichs with their heads in the sand. The nerve of the President of Mexico blaming the USA for the drug cartels as he said most recently that were it not for the demand for drugs by the USA the suppliers would not be making life so rough for Mexico.
I believe that provisions could be made for migrant workers to go to and fro between the two nations with ease so that the Mexicans could continue to live in Mexico, but work and earn the American dollar to pay for their peso built homes and communities.
This is all about the American dollar. American business is the guilty party here, undercutting the unions who tried to make life bearable for the laborer, and who have hired from cheap labor pools, mostly Mexican and Central Americans. The Democrats truly let their constituents down when they espouse such a thing as amnesty.
Americans do have to wake up. It is not too late, but the fact that Arizona is making news for showing courage and fortitude is no reason for cities in California, celebrities who know nothing about it but are playing dirty pool, and baseball teams to get caught up in a dispute that affects everyone in North America, including Canada.
The politicians have let the people down. It is time for this problem to be solved for everyone everywhere.
The emotional reaction to this is uncalled for in my opinion since laws are supposed to be respected and enforced. The fact that America appears to be the rich neighbor attracts the poor of the neighboring nations south of the border, and it has become a very serious problem.
When I was teaching in Azusa, where we were half and half, Anglo and Mexicans, many illegal and unable to speak English, we have had this as a problem. Californians have a very strange attitude about which laws to enforce, and it is a very serious matter, like it or not.
LaRaza and Lulac, both Mexican American groups, have pledged to overtake the USA by numbers, and this has been ongoing since the 60's, and nothing has been done to prevent it.
Americans have been ostrichs with their heads in the sand. The nerve of the President of Mexico blaming the USA for the drug cartels as he said most recently that were it not for the demand for drugs by the USA the suppliers would not be making life so rough for Mexico.
I believe that provisions could be made for migrant workers to go to and fro between the two nations with ease so that the Mexicans could continue to live in Mexico, but work and earn the American dollar to pay for their peso built homes and communities.
This is all about the American dollar. American business is the guilty party here, undercutting the unions who tried to make life bearable for the laborer, and who have hired from cheap labor pools, mostly Mexican and Central Americans. The Democrats truly let their constituents down when they espouse such a thing as amnesty.
Americans do have to wake up. It is not too late, but the fact that Arizona is making news for showing courage and fortitude is no reason for cities in California, celebrities who know nothing about it but are playing dirty pool, and baseball teams to get caught up in a dispute that affects everyone in North America, including Canada.
The politicians have let the people down. It is time for this problem to be solved for everyone everywhere.
Cooling Down
It is monsoon season and the dark, heavy clouds are coming in, but it is hot outdoors yet, and at 6:30 in the afternoon still hanging around 105 degrees. I will go out shortly as I have stayed indoors today, watching a movie, Knocked UP, and playing hearts, mah jong, and solitaire on my gateway games. Knocked Up is a funny movie about a pick up that leads to a pregnancy, friendship, an odd bunch of men who so obviously unsuited for the family life that they are close to becoming homosexual if not already there, and this guy who gets our heroine laid on the first date inches out of his group through his paternity. It is a very funny movie, very touching, warmhearted, and loving...most men that I know run scared of admitting to their role in the fathering of a child but this guy has a great understanding father, a bunch of friends who are supporting, and the woman has to be well heeled working for E t.v. show. Ryan Seacrest has a cameo appearance at the beginning of the show. That in itself gives credibility to the knockout looking gal who is a sharp cookie despite her obvious situation of picking up strangers in a bar and then getting caught at it. It is a humorous film depicting the hardships of marriage so that the lead pair decide to have the baby without getting married. It is easy to understand why that is a good decision here. The movie ends with the baby finally arriving, and the delivery scene is the funniest that I have ever seen...no holds barred in this one...makes one know why men are sometimes afraid of Madame Pussy!
TWA 800
I decided to add the sketches that I had made of the crash of TWA 800 to this blog as well. It is not totally about my time spent in the past. But I had had a habit here of watching television, and so many tragedies have occurred while I had been sitting in my place in the living room that it is unbelievable. While watching a talk show program, I think it was with Geraldo Rivera, a breaking news story came in that a plane had crashed into the sea along Long Island. We could see a ring of fire as all that was left of the evidence of a crash was the fuel burning atop the waves of Long Island Sound. It was a strange event, and as had so many other events occurred in the same pattern, it has always struck me odd that our days spent in Arizona consist of so many highly dramatized events.
When I went to bed that night, I heard this spiritual voice speak to me as I was in the state of drifting to sleep and it asked me if I wanted to see what happened. I say Yes, and I was then transported spiritually to the side of the plane, where I could see the red lettering on the sides, and in a moment the side exploded from within and the wall literally pealed away and fell into the atmosphere, blowing the wing out and I watched it fall, then I saw the cockpit fall...I could see that two men had spiritually come to the edge of the cockpit and saluted...I then went around to the front of the remaining part of the aircraft to see inside...all was pitch black...the explosion had been awesome, gold, red, black sparks flying everywhere. no human being was seen at all...I am sure at the site of the explosion that they were pulverized into small bits and pieces...but I did not see anything to indicate anyone human at all except for the two pilots on the edge of the cockpit.
I then heard a voice, in a foreign tongue, who said, " You Americans are too comfortable". Then I heard another voice say, "A courier was aboard".
Then I saw the plane on the ground waiting to get off, and all I could see were the engines...then I saw a man in a pin-striped suit get onto the plane and sit in a seat, putting a valise or package beside him under his seat.
I believe that I saw the plane on the ground before it was airborne, and then the explosion occurred. All of this preceded my adventures going back in time to learn of King Louis XIV, et al.
I am reminded now that the act of watching the engines on the plane were as long and studied as my looking at that retaining wall at the chateau du versailles in my first memory of the chateau. I have always wondered why it is that I stared so long at those engines.
Later, I did learn that the plane had been standing for a long time before it finally took off. My concentraton had been on the wings and the engines for a long period of time...I never did learn who the man in the pinstripe suit is.
That story became "my" story for awhile. I kept every article that was written on that tragedy. A young girl from Arizona had been aboard the plane to visit the Eiffel Tower. Soon after that, I went up to Las Vegas to see the Eiffel Tower reproduction at the Paris Hotel. Having seen both now, there is no comparison.
As in solving mysteries, and in real estate, some things go backwards...first the explosions, then the plane on the ground. I suspect that that is often the case when one travels back...from now to then.
When I went to bed that night, I heard this spiritual voice speak to me as I was in the state of drifting to sleep and it asked me if I wanted to see what happened. I say Yes, and I was then transported spiritually to the side of the plane, where I could see the red lettering on the sides, and in a moment the side exploded from within and the wall literally pealed away and fell into the atmosphere, blowing the wing out and I watched it fall, then I saw the cockpit fall...I could see that two men had spiritually come to the edge of the cockpit and saluted...I then went around to the front of the remaining part of the aircraft to see inside...all was pitch black...the explosion had been awesome, gold, red, black sparks flying everywhere. no human being was seen at all...I am sure at the site of the explosion that they were pulverized into small bits and pieces...but I did not see anything to indicate anyone human at all except for the two pilots on the edge of the cockpit.
I then heard a voice, in a foreign tongue, who said, " You Americans are too comfortable". Then I heard another voice say, "A courier was aboard".
Then I saw the plane on the ground waiting to get off, and all I could see were the engines...then I saw a man in a pin-striped suit get onto the plane and sit in a seat, putting a valise or package beside him under his seat.
I believe that I saw the plane on the ground before it was airborne, and then the explosion occurred. All of this preceded my adventures going back in time to learn of King Louis XIV, et al.
I am reminded now that the act of watching the engines on the plane were as long and studied as my looking at that retaining wall at the chateau du versailles in my first memory of the chateau. I have always wondered why it is that I stared so long at those engines.
Later, I did learn that the plane had been standing for a long time before it finally took off. My concentraton had been on the wings and the engines for a long period of time...I never did learn who the man in the pinstripe suit is.
That story became "my" story for awhile. I kept every article that was written on that tragedy. A young girl from Arizona had been aboard the plane to visit the Eiffel Tower. Soon after that, I went up to Las Vegas to see the Eiffel Tower reproduction at the Paris Hotel. Having seen both now, there is no comparison.
As in solving mysteries, and in real estate, some things go backwards...first the explosions, then the plane on the ground. I suspect that that is often the case when one travels back...from now to then.
About the sketches
Frankly, I do not expect that many people will read this blog or be interested in my sketches, but I do know of a few who will want to read what I have to say. I had made some friends (correspondence) on the web thanks to these discussions about Louis XIV and Alexander. They may or may not want to read my blog, but I will make it available to them.
I admit to being a very poor artist at times, but there are some few that are quite good. I dabbled in oil paintings and acrylic paintings years ago and found that I can do portraits fairly well in those mediums. I have tried crayon, and basically, I can do caricature type drawings with that. I enjoy painting. Like writing, and I am sure that it is true in music as well, I believe that there is some inner force, some inner spirit, that actually works from within.
Once I begin to write a story, I can become quite immersed in it, and I had for a time, taken a correspondence course from the Institute of Children's Literature, and had had connections. Mostly, they want to have you write, and pay for it, and I eventually learned that my instructor was not much help to me. I did learn a few things about children's literature through her comments, but mostly, that I had given more time as a teacher to my student's efforts than she had done for me. I know that fiction writers use pseudonyms and I know that she wrote under a variety of names, but I decided not to continue with the correspondence course after that one introductory period. I have kept all my writings from that time period til now.
I liked them for one thing only: how to write query letter, and the lists of magazines and publishers with whom to do business. The actual critiques were of no benefit to me at all. But I did try my hand at writing a novel to see if I am a bulldog or not. A bulldog is someone who finishes the novel. I did finish it. It was inspired by Nancy Drew and Carolyn Keene, and that is passe for today's children. But I learned a lot from it that has always made me think....after I found the stables at the Versailles.
I had no idea that the Versailles even existed then when I was taking this course. Europe had never appealed to me. I was too fundamentally American. What a difference learning of a past lifetime can make to one. It changed my attitude totally about travel and about Europe.
I live in the southwest now, and there are stories of America that would make your blood boil if you knew the truth about them. The story of America itself is a fascinating one. I had to study Edna Ferber in my senior year and as a Jewess she wrote about the matriarchal society of America. She is a great writer and made a fortune on her books through films.
I have thought about the idea of taking a scene from my memories and then writing stories around it. So far, it is still in the sperm cell aspect. I have not yet penetrated an ova to create it thus far...
I admit to being a very poor artist at times, but there are some few that are quite good. I dabbled in oil paintings and acrylic paintings years ago and found that I can do portraits fairly well in those mediums. I have tried crayon, and basically, I can do caricature type drawings with that. I enjoy painting. Like writing, and I am sure that it is true in music as well, I believe that there is some inner force, some inner spirit, that actually works from within.
Once I begin to write a story, I can become quite immersed in it, and I had for a time, taken a correspondence course from the Institute of Children's Literature, and had had connections. Mostly, they want to have you write, and pay for it, and I eventually learned that my instructor was not much help to me. I did learn a few things about children's literature through her comments, but mostly, that I had given more time as a teacher to my student's efforts than she had done for me. I know that fiction writers use pseudonyms and I know that she wrote under a variety of names, but I decided not to continue with the correspondence course after that one introductory period. I have kept all my writings from that time period til now.
I liked them for one thing only: how to write query letter, and the lists of magazines and publishers with whom to do business. The actual critiques were of no benefit to me at all. But I did try my hand at writing a novel to see if I am a bulldog or not. A bulldog is someone who finishes the novel. I did finish it. It was inspired by Nancy Drew and Carolyn Keene, and that is passe for today's children. But I learned a lot from it that has always made me think....after I found the stables at the Versailles.
I had no idea that the Versailles even existed then when I was taking this course. Europe had never appealed to me. I was too fundamentally American. What a difference learning of a past lifetime can make to one. It changed my attitude totally about travel and about Europe.
I live in the southwest now, and there are stories of America that would make your blood boil if you knew the truth about them. The story of America itself is a fascinating one. I had to study Edna Ferber in my senior year and as a Jewess she wrote about the matriarchal society of America. She is a great writer and made a fortune on her books through films.
I have thought about the idea of taking a scene from my memories and then writing stories around it. So far, it is still in the sperm cell aspect. I have not yet penetrated an ova to create it thus far...
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Explanation of Sketches Part 2
I added four more plus a childhood picture which I just recently found. I have to explain that I have very strong psychic abilities, that I also have unusual occurrences take place around me, which prove to me that spiritual entities are real and have powers unknown to us.
I included the childhood picture because I found it in a plastic case on my mom's birthday and it was a part of her things that I found so that I believed it proved that my mother is still ever present in some way and still looking after me in her own way.
Also, the video of the Versailles has a childhood painting of Louis XIV in it and the painting and the photograph remind me of one another in a way.
The other sketch is supposed to be a carriage. It is the carriage of Louise de la Valliere, and I had had a most interesting time lapse back into a time when I could see Louise in her carriage, and in the upper right hand is the Queen's carriage. I will discuss that more fully but for now, that occasion occurred when my brother and his wife came to visit us. That has had meaning for me ever since.
The carrige was a plain brown carriage but had elaborate decorations on the side panels which I clumsily try to depict. One notices these details when seeing them as it made an impression on me but when waking and trying to recall each and every detail, they do begin to blur and fade away...
My spiritual friend asked me after the crash of Flight 800 if I wanted to see what happened. The last two sketches are of my impression of Flight 800 the night that it occurred when I was shown exactly what happened. I drew the sketches the next day and told my mother about the accident. Later, Paris Match was able to verify everything that I had seen. Details of this later also.
I included the childhood picture because I found it in a plastic case on my mom's birthday and it was a part of her things that I found so that I believed it proved that my mother is still ever present in some way and still looking after me in her own way.
Also, the video of the Versailles has a childhood painting of Louis XIV in it and the painting and the photograph remind me of one another in a way.
The other sketch is supposed to be a carriage. It is the carriage of Louise de la Valliere, and I had had a most interesting time lapse back into a time when I could see Louise in her carriage, and in the upper right hand is the Queen's carriage. I will discuss that more fully but for now, that occasion occurred when my brother and his wife came to visit us. That has had meaning for me ever since.
The carrige was a plain brown carriage but had elaborate decorations on the side panels which I clumsily try to depict. One notices these details when seeing them as it made an impression on me but when waking and trying to recall each and every detail, they do begin to blur and fade away...
My spiritual friend asked me after the crash of Flight 800 if I wanted to see what happened. The last two sketches are of my impression of Flight 800 the night that it occurred when I was shown exactly what happened. I drew the sketches the next day and told my mother about the accident. Later, Paris Match was able to verify everything that I had seen. Details of this later also.
Explanation of Sketches
All of these so far are from my going back in time to Louis XIV. Granted, I know that they are very childish in drawing, but as I said I am only trying to do one thing at this time, and that is to simply capture what I remembered so that I would not forget it and it might refresh my memory. Strangely, enough when these are locked into place, they become easy to remember.
Since there is a comment space below each blog page I will comment there as well as here. I have three or four more to add, and will do so, and then begin to comment.
This is written after writing a few comments. Even in previewing the comment I learned that I could not correct errors, so I have to make certain from now on to reread material before posting. I have found two posts with spelling/typo errors. I hate that! But that is the way it is right now.
Since there is a comment space below each blog page I will comment there as well as here. I have three or four more to add, and will do so, and then begin to comment.
This is written after writing a few comments. Even in previewing the comment I learned that I could not correct errors, so I have to make certain from now on to reread material before posting. I have found two posts with spelling/typo errors. I hate that! But that is the way it is right now.
Previous sketch
The previous sketch reveals my state of mind as much as it does the memories that I was trying to store on a sketchpad. I was and am still very conscious of several things that occur in the universe. One, that I have been the subject of study for a long time and am therefore ever conscious of others always honing in on me somehow, and I have been trying to prove if this is deliberate and intentional, or it is somehow or other a psychic and paranormal situation. I am aware that people can know everything that one has in one's home...remote viewing is what they call it. Some people are gifted or cursed with this ability, and as soon as I had these experiences I was very careful to try to keep them as private as possible. That is one reason this page exposes my so called need for privacy.
In the upper left hand corner is the sketch made to show Louis XIV in his Apollo costume that I first saw when I tried to learn who I had been. The green arced curves are supposed to represent the arms of the women who had gone through a wave of motion that was synchronized, and I eventually realized that this is a ballet. I did not know immediately who I am or what I am doing in this costume or who these women are, but I loved the serenity and the beauty of this moment. The handwoven gold lace costume was exquisite.
In the upper right hand corner is the spray from the fountains that I had seen when I made the "king's walk" and this is the famous fountain of Latona as it was seen then before the current one which replaced it was in place.
Below all the handwriting is a stickman portrait of the king as I had seen him in his levee and the sketchy writing is my notes on what happened. This occurred in 12/30/97.
If I do simply make the stickman more prominent, I will just take the same photo again but I would want the original to show that all that had been done was to make the stickman prominent. Since this is the first time I have made a blog, I have the option to edit. I am learning as I go.
In the upper left hand corner is the sketch made to show Louis XIV in his Apollo costume that I first saw when I tried to learn who I had been. The green arced curves are supposed to represent the arms of the women who had gone through a wave of motion that was synchronized, and I eventually realized that this is a ballet. I did not know immediately who I am or what I am doing in this costume or who these women are, but I loved the serenity and the beauty of this moment. The handwoven gold lace costume was exquisite.
In the upper right hand corner is the spray from the fountains that I had seen when I made the "king's walk" and this is the famous fountain of Latona as it was seen then before the current one which replaced it was in place.
Below all the handwriting is a stickman portrait of the king as I had seen him in his levee and the sketchy writing is my notes on what happened. This occurred in 12/30/97.
If I do simply make the stickman more prominent, I will just take the same photo again but I would want the original to show that all that had been done was to make the stickman prominent. Since this is the first time I have made a blog, I have the option to edit. I am learning as I go.
some sketches
Here are a few that I have already photographed. I will comment after I get the sketch into the blog.
Windows
Last night I wrote about my problems with my computer and this morning when I opened it, everything was back as it had been before this unusal event occurred. I had to no longer blame Gateway because it was not the computer but windows that did it. They restored everything and then had the nerve to have me add an important update called restoration. I naturally added restoration as an update. I did learn a valuable lesson though. I had thought I had lost all my photos, and I swear now that I will not ever erase my sd card again.
I put everything back on that was still in my card, so now the mystery is where is that folder now?
Computers! Agh! I am always hoping that windows is really better than apple and mac but when things like this happen, I do wonder what to believe.
Oh, one other thing. I learned that facebook still had all my photos there so it is a good idea to put photos in other places than just your windows album. At least that is the lesson I learned from it. But then I had another problem with my password and had to change it again. I get so disgusted with changing passwords.
I wish I had one single password for all groups, and that nobody could ever figure it out. As it is, mine are now pretty weak...
I put everything back on that was still in my card, so now the mystery is where is that folder now?
Computers! Agh! I am always hoping that windows is really better than apple and mac but when things like this happen, I do wonder what to believe.
Oh, one other thing. I learned that facebook still had all my photos there so it is a good idea to put photos in other places than just your windows album. At least that is the lesson I learned from it. But then I had another problem with my password and had to change it again. I get so disgusted with changing passwords.
I wish I had one single password for all groups, and that nobody could ever figure it out. As it is, mine are now pretty weak...
The Lives of Others
Tonight while watching a movie, my computer suddenly just stopped and the movie would not continue. The computer was behaving very badly as it was, but it got worse, and just like that it began to change everything at my desktop. I learned later that it has changed my entire photo album which had been full of photos. Now they are gone. I do not know what happened but I do not like it. The movie was about East Germany and is called The Lives of Others, something which I have always suspected is happening in this computer. That someone like in the film is always watching and listening...I am truly annoyed by this.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Movies
I did take Forever Amber back to the library. I just realized that I want to check the story on ZsaZsa Gabor that I just read at yahoo and left to come here. I had mentioned her in connection with Amber and voila ! no sooner said than I read where she fell off her bed and suffered broken bones. I was a bit upset about the coincidence but in truth there are many ways in which ZSAZSA shares a lot in common with Amber. There are so many actresses who follow that same plotline, marrying into rich and famous families, and surviving through marriage to the right rich man. I believe that ZSAZSA started with Conrad Hilton of the Hilton Hotel chain fame.
I had started watching a movie tonight when my computer began to act up on me, and as this movie is about the way the socialists bugged people in East Germany, it made me realize how it is that homes are bugged here in America as well. I have made so many complaints about this act of eavesdropping that it is not funny. I remember when I began my teaching experience they warned us that principals would often stand outside a classroom, listening in through the transoms. It turned out that in my teaching experience we had been listened in by Hollywood writers who used our school system as a model for television stories. The kids were well aware of us and let us, the teachers, know which networks were filming which story about our classrooms so that we would not be totally in the dark.
When I first began teaching in Azusa, the music teacher told me how Hollywood writers will set up situations to see how you will react so that they can write their stories from your behaviour. I finally listened and learned that all these kids and this teacher had not been kidding because that is the way that many stories are written.
While watching this film, I thought of that, because I had always thought to myself, pity the dumb stooge stupid enough to listen in to us. This movie is a reflection of that. But England put out a movie years ago where a woman could be seen walking and we the audience were watching her as her exhusband had been doing, so that one also alerted me to the fact that in real life, that is what happens to some of us too. Another faculty member told me that we never know when we are under observation. We learn soon enough later to know which film it is or t.v. show that is busy playing back all the days of our lives.
I had started watching a movie tonight when my computer began to act up on me, and as this movie is about the way the socialists bugged people in East Germany, it made me realize how it is that homes are bugged here in America as well. I have made so many complaints about this act of eavesdropping that it is not funny. I remember when I began my teaching experience they warned us that principals would often stand outside a classroom, listening in through the transoms. It turned out that in my teaching experience we had been listened in by Hollywood writers who used our school system as a model for television stories. The kids were well aware of us and let us, the teachers, know which networks were filming which story about our classrooms so that we would not be totally in the dark.
When I first began teaching in Azusa, the music teacher told me how Hollywood writers will set up situations to see how you will react so that they can write their stories from your behaviour. I finally listened and learned that all these kids and this teacher had not been kidding because that is the way that many stories are written.
While watching this film, I thought of that, because I had always thought to myself, pity the dumb stooge stupid enough to listen in to us. This movie is a reflection of that. But England put out a movie years ago where a woman could be seen walking and we the audience were watching her as her exhusband had been doing, so that one also alerted me to the fact that in real life, that is what happens to some of us too. Another faculty member told me that we never know when we are under observation. We learn soon enough later to know which film it is or t.v. show that is busy playing back all the days of our lives.
Alexander's Military Uniforms
When I draw sketches, I sketch very lightly. Some few are in crayon and some are firm and bold, but many are lightly penciled onto the sketch book. I will attempt to photograph some so that it gives a clue as to what I saw as I tried to copy it as best as I could remember.
For some reason, I had the pleasure of seeing Alexander's variety of military uniforms parade in front of me. One time I saw everything from the helmet, to the cuirass ( chest covering) to the greaves (thigh coverings), and believe me, nothing has impacted me more than the importance of the right uniform when riding in a battle.
Yes, I have seen many battles in which I have fought, have seen bodies strewn all over the ground, stepping across them while on horseback, swinging to and fro my weapon (a sword) to slice men's arms. I had an experience where I was surrounded and boxed in by my bodyguards at one battle. (Halicarnassus) Everywhere I turned I was being protected by my men around me. It was all I could do to move myself that way.
I had to wear a very well made helmet, made especially for me. The story of the battle of Gaugemela is a very important one as it was a return battle between Alexander and King Darius. By all rights, King Darius had been right to believe that he would win the battles since he actually had a larger force of men than I had had. However, he had not had them as loyal, as well trained, and as disciplined as I and my father had had.
King Darius actually sat in a chariot, and is an impassive leader of his military; whereas, I am astride my faithful horse Bucephalus, and am in control and lead the charge. (This is always so important to me since Washington also always led his men in battle. Needless to say, the two time periods are totally different but similar in many ways.)
At any rate, I have a very special helmet which is handmade and has reliefs of scenes from history molded into it. This helmet is gleaming in its finish, having a mirror like quality to it so that it shone brightly in the sun, blinding anyone who would dare to look at it. The cuirass is just as well made, again with reliefs and paints at the top, and all metal coming down over the groin to protect me from the enemies swords. As I understand it, the silversmiths who made these helmets and cuirasses pounded them into shape. I know that it is a special honor for a man to be able to create the armor that I wore as he took great care with it and gave it is his own special attention. The reliefs are for luck in battle as well as reminding the soldiers of former battle victories.
The greaves which cover the shin bones are as well made as the helmet and cuirass for the legs are nearly always straddling a horse and are an easy target for the enemy to attack.
The weight of the total mass is something to consider as the horse must carry both the rider and his added weight and maneuver carefully to avoid being struck down as well. Many horses suffer in battle worse than men or as badly as men, so there is often some kind of protection for the horse as well, but very little. The Macedonians did not attempt to do more than place light coverings on the horses backs.
Alexander is not a large man, but an average man in size. I am very muscular, and I am very powerful and strong, as I never shirk any work that my soldiers and I must do. So when I am wearing the armor that I must, I am strong enough to sit astride my horse which is racing fast and strike down opponents with my weapons as easily as I can. I have learned to be deft, to have my horse turn on a dime, and swiftly turn to avoid a horse coming towards us, to jump over horses that are lying on the ground, and to maneuver across a battle field to find my target, Darius. When I am in the throes of a battle, I act, I do not even think. I have become nearly automatic in my responses, and I charge ahead. My men follow me.
When I think about this, I remember as a child, sitting in my backyard, thinking that boys have all the fun. I loved adventure and excitement. For a short time, I was a strong tomboy...I grew out of it.
When I relive these experiences, I get the same exhiliaration and excitement that I had had at that time...I loved it...so there is no doubt that the military life then is the life that appealed to men of all ages, young and old...it is a charge.
The aftermath is that the dead must be looked after and tended to, and I had a scene when Alexander was at the battle of Charonea, where he defeated the Sacred Band when I learned how hard and cold I had been. I was not in the person of Alexander at this event. I had been watching a movie about American soldiers in the Battle of Iwo Jima. When the actor entered a cave, I suddenly was back in time, to the battle of Charonea, and I heard Alexander say "Kill them all." His voice is cold and hard. He is only 18. Then I immersed within him and I am bending over dead soldiers, reaching in every uniform, checking to see that they are dead, and searching for anything that could be salvaged...I came out of the memory and back to the movie...
Alexander is an old man at 18. He is at least 35.
For some reason, I had the pleasure of seeing Alexander's variety of military uniforms parade in front of me. One time I saw everything from the helmet, to the cuirass ( chest covering) to the greaves (thigh coverings), and believe me, nothing has impacted me more than the importance of the right uniform when riding in a battle.
Yes, I have seen many battles in which I have fought, have seen bodies strewn all over the ground, stepping across them while on horseback, swinging to and fro my weapon (a sword) to slice men's arms. I had an experience where I was surrounded and boxed in by my bodyguards at one battle. (Halicarnassus) Everywhere I turned I was being protected by my men around me. It was all I could do to move myself that way.
I had to wear a very well made helmet, made especially for me. The story of the battle of Gaugemela is a very important one as it was a return battle between Alexander and King Darius. By all rights, King Darius had been right to believe that he would win the battles since he actually had a larger force of men than I had had. However, he had not had them as loyal, as well trained, and as disciplined as I and my father had had.
King Darius actually sat in a chariot, and is an impassive leader of his military; whereas, I am astride my faithful horse Bucephalus, and am in control and lead the charge. (This is always so important to me since Washington also always led his men in battle. Needless to say, the two time periods are totally different but similar in many ways.)
At any rate, I have a very special helmet which is handmade and has reliefs of scenes from history molded into it. This helmet is gleaming in its finish, having a mirror like quality to it so that it shone brightly in the sun, blinding anyone who would dare to look at it. The cuirass is just as well made, again with reliefs and paints at the top, and all metal coming down over the groin to protect me from the enemies swords. As I understand it, the silversmiths who made these helmets and cuirasses pounded them into shape. I know that it is a special honor for a man to be able to create the armor that I wore as he took great care with it and gave it is his own special attention. The reliefs are for luck in battle as well as reminding the soldiers of former battle victories.
The greaves which cover the shin bones are as well made as the helmet and cuirass for the legs are nearly always straddling a horse and are an easy target for the enemy to attack.
The weight of the total mass is something to consider as the horse must carry both the rider and his added weight and maneuver carefully to avoid being struck down as well. Many horses suffer in battle worse than men or as badly as men, so there is often some kind of protection for the horse as well, but very little. The Macedonians did not attempt to do more than place light coverings on the horses backs.
Alexander is not a large man, but an average man in size. I am very muscular, and I am very powerful and strong, as I never shirk any work that my soldiers and I must do. So when I am wearing the armor that I must, I am strong enough to sit astride my horse which is racing fast and strike down opponents with my weapons as easily as I can. I have learned to be deft, to have my horse turn on a dime, and swiftly turn to avoid a horse coming towards us, to jump over horses that are lying on the ground, and to maneuver across a battle field to find my target, Darius. When I am in the throes of a battle, I act, I do not even think. I have become nearly automatic in my responses, and I charge ahead. My men follow me.
When I think about this, I remember as a child, sitting in my backyard, thinking that boys have all the fun. I loved adventure and excitement. For a short time, I was a strong tomboy...I grew out of it.
When I relive these experiences, I get the same exhiliaration and excitement that I had had at that time...I loved it...so there is no doubt that the military life then is the life that appealed to men of all ages, young and old...it is a charge.
The aftermath is that the dead must be looked after and tended to, and I had a scene when Alexander was at the battle of Charonea, where he defeated the Sacred Band when I learned how hard and cold I had been. I was not in the person of Alexander at this event. I had been watching a movie about American soldiers in the Battle of Iwo Jima. When the actor entered a cave, I suddenly was back in time, to the battle of Charonea, and I heard Alexander say "Kill them all." His voice is cold and hard. He is only 18. Then I immersed within him and I am bending over dead soldiers, reaching in every uniform, checking to see that they are dead, and searching for anything that could be salvaged...I came out of the memory and back to the movie...
Alexander is an old man at 18. He is at least 35.
Library Books
I have a book due at the library tomorrow so I must return it today, but this is the beginning of the monsoon season and I have my days and nights reversed so that I am sleeping later in the morning and going to bed early in the morning hours. I have had about five hours sleep that way.
It is a gray overcast day, but the heat is only at 90 degrees, and at this hour of the day, that is cool for AZ in July. A very good sign since the caretakers have finally trimmed the palms, and two fronds fell into my patio. I heaved them over the wall, and two men came up quickly to pick them up and ask if there was anything more to clear. I was in my nightgown...at 11:30.
We have a problem with illegal immigration in this country. Arizona is under attack by ne'er do wells who know nothing about the problem but believe that they can irrationally impose their will on the rational.
We are a nation founded on laws. That is what is interesting about history learned my way. I have a deep personal interest in realizing how this planet got into the state of being that it is since I have become a part of yesterday today in my way of doing it.
In fact, were I to write a doctoral program on this shtick, I would prove that there is a universal idea being applied through time, and that this one single soul force which has had so many different flesh occurences is in fact subduing the planet for some potential future time in which most likely all mankind will live together as one. The common denominator I found in all of these former leaders is always the word ONE. All have the same goal, and I eventually realized that the true purpose is divine, and that each one is propelled by a goddriven force of some kind, manifesting itself in some fashion in a variety of centuries. Always in the same time period in a certain sense if one can trace it through.
I do take life and death very seriously, but one thing is for sure. I am not afraid of death at all, as I see it as simply shedding the flesh so that soul moves into tomorrow awaiting its time to renew a flesh life existence if need be.
However, back to the library books, Forever Amber, and Wolf Hall, two books that I have already renewed once, and could renew again if I am bent upon finishing what is left to read in each of them. Amber became tedious after awhile and I lost interest in her as she took on a flavor that I came to dislike. Wolf Hall is simply pondersome but interesting.
It is just that I do try to do more than sit at a computer, write in response to ideas, and read books. I have to get to the fitness center sometime today, and I have to take Amber back to the library...I can always finish reading the few chapters left at some other time..
All my friends are now out of town. Only Elijah and I left here to hold the fort.
And I won't bother him at all. He won't even know that I am here.
Did I grow tired of past lifetimes? Not really. I have come to grips with it. It does not consume my every thought. In fact, after visiting a place of the past it is easy to forget them. I never think about George Washington at all any more because of everything that I did when in Virginia. I recognize that people hate to have heroic statures reduced to mere women in another lifetime...Men really probably hate that more than women do. They want to identify with the man then, not the woman now. That is one reason that it is so easy for them to reject what I have to say. I get a secret kick that way as I know that relieves me of a lot of responsibility. Achilles had been dressed as a woman by his mother to avoid getting detected, and I often think of that...since Alexander always believed he had been Achilles reborn...I will discuss that in the future.
So I always think how appropriate that I was born during WWII and am born a girl to be able to avoid war this age. I think about that a lot since women have decided to join the military now. I think that reproduction can only be accomplished by women since mother nature decreed it that way and that it is wrong for women to go into combat. Unless they wish to remain single and childless.
Of the two sexes, I do believe that mothers are more important to the infant than fathers...breasts and nursing support that idea for a certainty.
Like I said, I am an old fashioned woman in many ways but to me that is common sense.
It is a gray overcast day, but the heat is only at 90 degrees, and at this hour of the day, that is cool for AZ in July. A very good sign since the caretakers have finally trimmed the palms, and two fronds fell into my patio. I heaved them over the wall, and two men came up quickly to pick them up and ask if there was anything more to clear. I was in my nightgown...at 11:30.
We have a problem with illegal immigration in this country. Arizona is under attack by ne'er do wells who know nothing about the problem but believe that they can irrationally impose their will on the rational.
We are a nation founded on laws. That is what is interesting about history learned my way. I have a deep personal interest in realizing how this planet got into the state of being that it is since I have become a part of yesterday today in my way of doing it.
In fact, were I to write a doctoral program on this shtick, I would prove that there is a universal idea being applied through time, and that this one single soul force which has had so many different flesh occurences is in fact subduing the planet for some potential future time in which most likely all mankind will live together as one. The common denominator I found in all of these former leaders is always the word ONE. All have the same goal, and I eventually realized that the true purpose is divine, and that each one is propelled by a goddriven force of some kind, manifesting itself in some fashion in a variety of centuries. Always in the same time period in a certain sense if one can trace it through.
I do take life and death very seriously, but one thing is for sure. I am not afraid of death at all, as I see it as simply shedding the flesh so that soul moves into tomorrow awaiting its time to renew a flesh life existence if need be.
However, back to the library books, Forever Amber, and Wolf Hall, two books that I have already renewed once, and could renew again if I am bent upon finishing what is left to read in each of them. Amber became tedious after awhile and I lost interest in her as she took on a flavor that I came to dislike. Wolf Hall is simply pondersome but interesting.
It is just that I do try to do more than sit at a computer, write in response to ideas, and read books. I have to get to the fitness center sometime today, and I have to take Amber back to the library...I can always finish reading the few chapters left at some other time..
All my friends are now out of town. Only Elijah and I left here to hold the fort.
And I won't bother him at all. He won't even know that I am here.
Did I grow tired of past lifetimes? Not really. I have come to grips with it. It does not consume my every thought. In fact, after visiting a place of the past it is easy to forget them. I never think about George Washington at all any more because of everything that I did when in Virginia. I recognize that people hate to have heroic statures reduced to mere women in another lifetime...Men really probably hate that more than women do. They want to identify with the man then, not the woman now. That is one reason that it is so easy for them to reject what I have to say. I get a secret kick that way as I know that relieves me of a lot of responsibility. Achilles had been dressed as a woman by his mother to avoid getting detected, and I often think of that...since Alexander always believed he had been Achilles reborn...I will discuss that in the future.
So I always think how appropriate that I was born during WWII and am born a girl to be able to avoid war this age. I think about that a lot since women have decided to join the military now. I think that reproduction can only be accomplished by women since mother nature decreed it that way and that it is wrong for women to go into combat. Unless they wish to remain single and childless.
Of the two sexes, I do believe that mothers are more important to the infant than fathers...breasts and nursing support that idea for a certainty.
Like I said, I am an old fashioned woman in many ways but to me that is common sense.
Alexander's digs
While I am up writing now, I may as well continue with more on Alexander. I will try to post some of my sketchwork, poor that it is. Because many times, I had distinct visions of military garb pass in front of my eyes. Believe me, in Alexander's life, besides his horse Bucephalus, which I will recount in a minute, he had his mind on wearing apparel for himself and his army foremost. I have never seen so many cuirasses in my life until I tapped into Alexander.
I had again fallen asleep on the couch in front of the t.v. and back I was in time as a young boy, listening to my father Philip. My father loved women. He could not get enough of two things when he isn't fighting a battle somewhere, and that is wine and women. He could never ever control his appetite for both. He had come to talk to me for a brief while, as I had just won the right to own my own horse Bucephalus by taking him for a ride and staying on him! He had been a cantankerous horse, never allowing anyone to come near him, and literally afraid of his own shadow. I saw that in him, and so when I had the chance, I jumped on him, took hold, and nudged him to break free and away we flew. I had no fear of him at all, as all he needed was a gentle hand and a firm grasp on his back to be free to gallop in the hills around us. When we came back from our ride everyone was astonished at the fact that I had stayed astride him, that he had not bucked me off, and that I was in control. My father did reward me with giving him to me and so now we were relaxing together reminiscing about the day. But he was tired of me, and let me know it, as he got up leave. He needed his wine and his woman. But I finally have my friend, my own horse, and I named him Bucephalus.
I was dreadfully lonely then. The horse filled my need.
I woke up then, and I realized a few things in that memory. A boy who is destined to become a king suffers a very lonely life, deprived of normal happy friendships.
My father had a great influence on me. I always stayed my own person but I learned everything I knew about leadership from him. He was a great man in his own way, but we were literally as different from one another as night and day.
Philip was a rough man, a tough man. He could not see in the horse what I had seen, and that is what made the difference. I conquered my dad that day. I won my own way at last.
I had again fallen asleep on the couch in front of the t.v. and back I was in time as a young boy, listening to my father Philip. My father loved women. He could not get enough of two things when he isn't fighting a battle somewhere, and that is wine and women. He could never ever control his appetite for both. He had come to talk to me for a brief while, as I had just won the right to own my own horse Bucephalus by taking him for a ride and staying on him! He had been a cantankerous horse, never allowing anyone to come near him, and literally afraid of his own shadow. I saw that in him, and so when I had the chance, I jumped on him, took hold, and nudged him to break free and away we flew. I had no fear of him at all, as all he needed was a gentle hand and a firm grasp on his back to be free to gallop in the hills around us. When we came back from our ride everyone was astonished at the fact that I had stayed astride him, that he had not bucked me off, and that I was in control. My father did reward me with giving him to me and so now we were relaxing together reminiscing about the day. But he was tired of me, and let me know it, as he got up leave. He needed his wine and his woman. But I finally have my friend, my own horse, and I named him Bucephalus.
I was dreadfully lonely then. The horse filled my need.
I woke up then, and I realized a few things in that memory. A boy who is destined to become a king suffers a very lonely life, deprived of normal happy friendships.
My father had a great influence on me. I always stayed my own person but I learned everything I knew about leadership from him. He was a great man in his own way, but we were literally as different from one another as night and day.
Philip was a rough man, a tough man. He could not see in the horse what I had seen, and that is what made the difference. I conquered my dad that day. I won my own way at last.
Tonight I was goaded into sending my tribute to my mom on her birthday page to facebook because of a discussion ongoing about Rachel Maddow and Glen Beck. In Michigan years ago, the Detroit newspapers had been publishing all kinds of stories about people who had not earned an academic education but who were well read, self educated, and pretty bright and intelligent but just had not suffered the lot of sitting in four walls to gain a sheepskin as some of us had done because of their lack. In my case, my parents wanted me to have what they had not had.
The great depression was the cause of that lack in their lives, but they nonetheless married and raised a son and a daughter who they saw to it did earn an education.
I am well aware of the phoniness and falseness in baccalaureate degrees, masters, and PhD's also and have respect for the purpose, the means, and the methods, but sometimes am critical of the fact that lazy professors also let students get by with cheating, cribbing, and all kinds of other mean nasty things to get ahead in life no matter what the cost. All of life is a game, and I learned that many people get out to work before getting an education as their goal is money, money, and they do acquire it.
So the argument had been that Rachel Maddow has a PhD, has gone to Oxford, has a degree from Stanford, etc., but what does Glenn Beck have? Plus, she was an air force brat as well. Well, I know that he has a following and while I am not into the argument of who should be listened to, since the first thing that one hears about Rachel is that she is a lesbian, so who gives a damn if she is intelligent or not, her sex life is more important than her education.
Can't help it. That is life, baby, and you just better learn it. So Glenn Beck appeals to conservatives who love an outspoken spokesmen for their cause. I have never listened to him in my life, but I have listened to Rachel and think that she and Keith Olbermann are a bit too much at times in their coziness at MSNBC. So it is Fox versus MSNBC and whatever it takes to get the ratings going.
So my point is that it is heart, not mind, that people look for in an interview, and while the mind will appeal to those who have smarts enough and like to exercise their brains, the heart and the emotions will overrule every time.
Yeah, so this is a diversion from the memory lane about men of fame and their lifetimes, or my lifetimes, whichever it turns out to be. They are a part of me now and I distinguish amongst all of them as who is who. For the record, George, Louis XIV, and Genghis Khan had no formal education beyond tutoring and selfeducation...in the end, educational programs are for the limited few who like being stuck in four walls and academic circles. Real people get out and do things, it seems.
Louis did have an ongoing apprenticeship as did Alexander, but Alexander did get a formal education from his home tutor, Aristotle. (Oh dear, if John Maxwell O'Brien ever reads this, he will burst out laughing!)
IF all this time spent in times past did nothing else, it gave me a broad education and worthwhile people to come and know, whether stuck in formal academic circles or on top mountain tops in India. It has been an interesting time to grow. But what a way to do it!
The great depression was the cause of that lack in their lives, but they nonetheless married and raised a son and a daughter who they saw to it did earn an education.
I am well aware of the phoniness and falseness in baccalaureate degrees, masters, and PhD's also and have respect for the purpose, the means, and the methods, but sometimes am critical of the fact that lazy professors also let students get by with cheating, cribbing, and all kinds of other mean nasty things to get ahead in life no matter what the cost. All of life is a game, and I learned that many people get out to work before getting an education as their goal is money, money, and they do acquire it.
So the argument had been that Rachel Maddow has a PhD, has gone to Oxford, has a degree from Stanford, etc., but what does Glenn Beck have? Plus, she was an air force brat as well. Well, I know that he has a following and while I am not into the argument of who should be listened to, since the first thing that one hears about Rachel is that she is a lesbian, so who gives a damn if she is intelligent or not, her sex life is more important than her education.
Can't help it. That is life, baby, and you just better learn it. So Glenn Beck appeals to conservatives who love an outspoken spokesmen for their cause. I have never listened to him in my life, but I have listened to Rachel and think that she and Keith Olbermann are a bit too much at times in their coziness at MSNBC. So it is Fox versus MSNBC and whatever it takes to get the ratings going.
So my point is that it is heart, not mind, that people look for in an interview, and while the mind will appeal to those who have smarts enough and like to exercise their brains, the heart and the emotions will overrule every time.
Yeah, so this is a diversion from the memory lane about men of fame and their lifetimes, or my lifetimes, whichever it turns out to be. They are a part of me now and I distinguish amongst all of them as who is who. For the record, George, Louis XIV, and Genghis Khan had no formal education beyond tutoring and selfeducation...in the end, educational programs are for the limited few who like being stuck in four walls and academic circles. Real people get out and do things, it seems.
Louis did have an ongoing apprenticeship as did Alexander, but Alexander did get a formal education from his home tutor, Aristotle. (Oh dear, if John Maxwell O'Brien ever reads this, he will burst out laughing!)
IF all this time spent in times past did nothing else, it gave me a broad education and worthwhile people to come and know, whether stuck in formal academic circles or on top mountain tops in India. It has been an interesting time to grow. But what a way to do it!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Inundated
Anyway, I became inundated with images from the time of Alexander. I watched him cross the river Granicus to protect his horses hooves. I had never realized all that is important in maintaining a walking army and a cavalary. I have never been involved in military life at all except to acknowledge that some of my relatives had served time, and it meant something to us. Most military do not like to speak of their experiences, and I frankly was not interested in the military life until I came to Arizona in the 60's and met the men who flew at Williams and Luke Air Force Bases. Frankly, I had not liked Ike. I had liked Adlai Stevenson for his brains, not Ike for his military medals.
So for me to be so immersed in the military is a bit of a surprise to me as I have always been on the side of the Peace Corps, and the development of a means by which mankind today can solve problems without having to do battle with one another.
To me, war is a useless exercise in futility, and a waste of manpower. But that is today, and I had to learn some lessons, and come to grips with my thoughts and ideas.
I have had thoughts of cleaning up the earth, I admit, and one of the ways I have is to eliminate certain kind of persons from the earth who are a detriment to it, who make life miserable for others, and who frankly do not deserve to breathe the same clean air that I breathe, and I do mean that. There are people who are so despicable that death seems top good for them, but if I had my way and I had a lazer gun that would dissolve them, I would see to it that many of these same people would cease to exist. They do sometimes get caught but not all do. It is surprising at how many do escape the law when they should not.
Right away, it seems that I am playing god. I frankly do not believe that a god that is a true god is going to permit poisonous substances to destroy the earth that this god created. So for that reason, man has had wars, and often times, both nations fighting in the name of a god of some kind to declare victory over another...thus the Muslim and Christian wars have sometimes persisted in each believing that God favored one over the other due to a victory.
Well, through Alexander, George, Louis XIV, Genghis Khan, and Cromagnon man, and even Julius Caesar, though I omit him from this except for the one time I reviewed him when I asked if my soul knows of him, as I have not relived any of his moments other than the one when something within made me walk as though I were him in Vegas at Caesar's Palace, so that I know that these warrior men were aspects of a warrior god that did achieve success in the name of God and with God's blessings.
But for each one, it is a different and unique God.
Now I honestly cannot say that about cromagnon man. I will deal with him when the time comes, but I cannot say that he credited God for anything.
The others did.
more later...I have to edit some of the posts next time, and take this up later...tired now.
So for me to be so immersed in the military is a bit of a surprise to me as I have always been on the side of the Peace Corps, and the development of a means by which mankind today can solve problems without having to do battle with one another.
To me, war is a useless exercise in futility, and a waste of manpower. But that is today, and I had to learn some lessons, and come to grips with my thoughts and ideas.
I have had thoughts of cleaning up the earth, I admit, and one of the ways I have is to eliminate certain kind of persons from the earth who are a detriment to it, who make life miserable for others, and who frankly do not deserve to breathe the same clean air that I breathe, and I do mean that. There are people who are so despicable that death seems top good for them, but if I had my way and I had a lazer gun that would dissolve them, I would see to it that many of these same people would cease to exist. They do sometimes get caught but not all do. It is surprising at how many do escape the law when they should not.
Right away, it seems that I am playing god. I frankly do not believe that a god that is a true god is going to permit poisonous substances to destroy the earth that this god created. So for that reason, man has had wars, and often times, both nations fighting in the name of a god of some kind to declare victory over another...thus the Muslim and Christian wars have sometimes persisted in each believing that God favored one over the other due to a victory.
Well, through Alexander, George, Louis XIV, Genghis Khan, and Cromagnon man, and even Julius Caesar, though I omit him from this except for the one time I reviewed him when I asked if my soul knows of him, as I have not relived any of his moments other than the one when something within made me walk as though I were him in Vegas at Caesar's Palace, so that I know that these warrior men were aspects of a warrior god that did achieve success in the name of God and with God's blessings.
But for each one, it is a different and unique God.
Now I honestly cannot say that about cromagnon man. I will deal with him when the time comes, but I cannot say that he credited God for anything.
The others did.
more later...I have to edit some of the posts next time, and take this up later...tired now.
And if all that is so
Well, here is the rub...as I said in the beginning, devil or god, and if one believes Dante, Alexander is listed in one of the circles of Dante's Inferno. There is a painting in Italy in a church of Assisi that does depict this. Many people find the life of Alexander to be demonic rather than godly, and that is one of the problems in dealing with people's perceptions, that Alexander is either god or demon.
And one would say to me as a girl in court reporting years ago said to me, why you? Yes, what can I do to deliver Alexander's story as I have come to know it so that people will believe that Alexander is either god, devil, or superman?
As the Biblical injunction says, a man goeth without honor in his own country...there is a lot of truth to that at times, for the saying familiarity breeds contempt adds a bit to those kind of pithy sayings as well. The people who are the closest to you and know you best wonder the most about your admitting to memories of people whose fame is such that that alone stamps one as a "lunatic", a wannabe, which is a choice word amongst the fans of any of these illustrious people.
Do I claim that I am them? In the sense, that I am able to recall aspects of their lives that are both known and unknown to others, that I know the real feelings and emotions of each one at various times...for instance, the time that touched me most about George Washington when he broke down and cried, and I woke up sobbing. I also had had the feeling that I was like myself when a teenager in Ohio then, and that impressed me no end as well. I had not realized that at all.
I actually loved Washington when I had that memory then for I knew his innermost feelings, and it really hit home with me at what a good man that he had been, especially to his men, and later when I held that ram in my arms, and realized that Alexander was equally as concerned for his men, I could see the sameness in each of them that they cared truly for their soldiers.
I actually came to like myself better as a teenager than I had done when I had been one, being so hypercritical and sensitive to criticism, and full of inferiority feelings about my attractiveness. I eventually studied George Washington and learned how he also had had facial flaws, born of small pox, and that he had had setbacks and rejections when dating and trying to find a wife. One learns that being one's self is not always being the most popular person in the world to many people, but that being true to one's self is crucial to liking one's self.
I have my moments when I look in the mirror and I can see a look that reminds me of each one of them, not all at the same time, but on different occasions. It is the inner person that makes the face become what it is, whether frowning, smiling, laughing, crying, morose and gloomy, joyful and happy, whatever, it is a condition that is within that causes our facial expression and even our posture to betray us.
So whether to others I measure up to what they expect an Alexander, or a Louis, or a George to be like today does not bother me at all.
I realized that through Alexander I had been cut off in my life teaching experience in a way that did cut my life to the quick and I caught on pretty fast then to some things going on around me that makes me suspicious even yet at how easy it is to manipulate people.
Of course, at that time, we were wrapped up in Jesus Christ Superstar and I will omit that from this blog for the sake of keeping it to the reliving of real people in this lifetime, and not into the study of another god in history, that of Jesus Christ.
Because I began my teaching in Greek Literature knowing a Greek woman from Michigan, and I seemed to end it meeting with another Greek woman in California, I am suspicious now that a lot of this had been deliberately manipulated. Some may have thought Socrates, but finally I realize now that it is Alexander.
And one would say to me as a girl in court reporting years ago said to me, why you? Yes, what can I do to deliver Alexander's story as I have come to know it so that people will believe that Alexander is either god, devil, or superman?
As the Biblical injunction says, a man goeth without honor in his own country...there is a lot of truth to that at times, for the saying familiarity breeds contempt adds a bit to those kind of pithy sayings as well. The people who are the closest to you and know you best wonder the most about your admitting to memories of people whose fame is such that that alone stamps one as a "lunatic", a wannabe, which is a choice word amongst the fans of any of these illustrious people.
Do I claim that I am them? In the sense, that I am able to recall aspects of their lives that are both known and unknown to others, that I know the real feelings and emotions of each one at various times...for instance, the time that touched me most about George Washington when he broke down and cried, and I woke up sobbing. I also had had the feeling that I was like myself when a teenager in Ohio then, and that impressed me no end as well. I had not realized that at all.
I actually loved Washington when I had that memory then for I knew his innermost feelings, and it really hit home with me at what a good man that he had been, especially to his men, and later when I held that ram in my arms, and realized that Alexander was equally as concerned for his men, I could see the sameness in each of them that they cared truly for their soldiers.
I actually came to like myself better as a teenager than I had done when I had been one, being so hypercritical and sensitive to criticism, and full of inferiority feelings about my attractiveness. I eventually studied George Washington and learned how he also had had facial flaws, born of small pox, and that he had had setbacks and rejections when dating and trying to find a wife. One learns that being one's self is not always being the most popular person in the world to many people, but that being true to one's self is crucial to liking one's self.
I have my moments when I look in the mirror and I can see a look that reminds me of each one of them, not all at the same time, but on different occasions. It is the inner person that makes the face become what it is, whether frowning, smiling, laughing, crying, morose and gloomy, joyful and happy, whatever, it is a condition that is within that causes our facial expression and even our posture to betray us.
So whether to others I measure up to what they expect an Alexander, or a Louis, or a George to be like today does not bother me at all.
I realized that through Alexander I had been cut off in my life teaching experience in a way that did cut my life to the quick and I caught on pretty fast then to some things going on around me that makes me suspicious even yet at how easy it is to manipulate people.
Of course, at that time, we were wrapped up in Jesus Christ Superstar and I will omit that from this blog for the sake of keeping it to the reliving of real people in this lifetime, and not into the study of another god in history, that of Jesus Christ.
Because I began my teaching in Greek Literature knowing a Greek woman from Michigan, and I seemed to end it meeting with another Greek woman in California, I am suspicious now that a lot of this had been deliberately manipulated. Some may have thought Socrates, but finally I realize now that it is Alexander.
Brilliance, Genius, and God
I mentioned earlier the cave in which I saw a plaque on the wall which had an inscription of some kind written in Greek. I have never learned the identity of this cave, but the part that I saw was the front of it, that was probably made to be a reception area. I did not go further back into it. I just saw that there was a lot of light gleaming outside from it and that light symbolized the light of knowledge to me. On a side note, later I saw a similar scene in the movie Lord of the Rings. It reminded me a lot of that when one is inside a cave, the outdoor area appears to be very brightly lit.
The Greeks and Macedonians were neighboring countries, and Greece had had a great influence on the life of the Macedonians who considered themselves to be Greek as well. While the Greeks were cultured, civilized, and by their standards, refined, the Macedonians were crude, rude, and burley and riff raff. They were mostly from farming and mining stock, and did not have that city refinement and polish that the Athenians had. They were a drunken bunch of bums in many ways in comparison to the elite of Athens.
But they had become a well trained and disciplined military power under the rule of Philip, Alexander's father, who had been trained himself in nearby Thebes when a youngster, and he carried those lessons back home to where he developed and raised an army through which Alexander was tutored and trained to become the fine general that he was at age 18.
So when one comes to learn who Alexander really is, one comes to wonder how on earth am I learning all this about myself now, at this stage in my life?
I am always amazed at this, as it is truly astounding to me. Yet, I believe in myself as much now as Alexander did in himself in that time period. There is some humor in it, as one has to understand the law of opposites, or reversi, in life changes. One example that I will state now is the matter of scars. Alexander is truly covered with scars, and as he says none in the back, no backstabbing. I have only one scar from childhood and have always been impressed by the fact that I have had few physical health problems, and therefore, no visible scars to show. Louis XIV had always loved the game of reversi, and sometimes I am able to see the reverse coin of Alexander with me on the other side...war and peace.
While I am writing this, it appears that I am glossing over both George and Louis by not telling their story in the same way that I am telling Alexanders, but that is because of the way the knowledge of them impacts me. I will sum it all up at the conclusion of this, explaining why.
I don't intend for this to become a regurgitation of their history, but in Alexander's case, I am summarizing a lot of it due to the fact that I don't believe that Alexander is known that well in the world as are both George and Louis XIV.
Yet, in circles to where Alexander is known, he takes precedence over each of the other and dwarfs them both.
Life is funny in the way that people perceive past histories. And I slip back and forth into third person and first person all according to where I am coming from. When I am telling of my own experiences, lived first hand through memory, I become the I character; otherwise, I talk about Alexander from the third person.
Alexander as a young man at 18 is really in many ways 35. He is an old man despite his youth. He has since childhood trained in the military with his father, and as a young teenager, had gone with a friend to perform one of the first acts of bravery to be a soldier, and that is the act of killing a man. He became a hard bitten killer early so that death of others meant little to him except success for his goals as a soldier. He is not to be misunderstood about his ruthlessness. He is utterly devoid of fear when it comes to killing someone, so when he sought advice from the delphic oracle, it is surely no surprise that when the oracle would not grant him his wish, he forcibly grabbed her, and made her speak to him...Her one word was "invincible" and with that, Alexander let go of her, thrust her away, and walked away satisfied. He had all he needed to hear.
Did I go back in time to remember that?
No, I have not ever had any memory of that occasion, but the other oracle that he was to address was in the Egyptian Desert, an oasis called Siwa, whereupon he had the gods and goddesses assist him in his struggle to reach the truth of whether he is a god or not through the counsel and advice of the oracle of Siwa. I did relive that experience, one of the most intersting and unusual memories that I have of Alexander in Egypt. That and the creation of the city of Alexander are the only two memories that I recall of Egypt at all. He did spend a lot of time there, was recognized and received as a Pharaoh, and in all probability, Egypt is where his body was taken after his death.
I believe that he should have been cremated according to custom but in fact his body became a bit of a power struggle amongst his followers so that there are many varieties of stories about what really happened to his body.
According to legend, Alexander and his followers crossed the desert to find the Siwa Oasis, but got lost in the desert to luck it out when a rainstorm came to give them water to quench their thirst, and either a pair of birds, or a pair of snakes led them to the promised oasis. One is supposed to realize that these birds or snakes are the gods in disguise leading Alexander to his destination. Nothing happens by accident with Alexander, and unfortunately, today's modern storytellers omit the occasions of the gods assistance much too often.
Alexander was apparently long awaited and was received immediately and much discussion is given as to whether the words were garbled when he was greeted, but it sounded to him as though the priests had said, son of zeus, and thus, he has always believed ever since that he is the true son of zeusammon, the Egyptian and Greek god.
He is often pictured wearing a pair of rams horns on his head after that time which indicated that he is the god.
Supposedly, he never told anyone, not even his best friend, Hephaestion, what the priests had told him, but did tell his mother that he would tell her when they would be together next. Unfortunately, he never saw his mother again to tell her anything about it.
I know what happened when I relived the experience. Alexander did little talking at all, but mostly listened. In fact, I stood as I recall listening to the monotone voice of a priest intone his remarks. It is said that there is a boat like structure there that moves according to questions. That is not what happened when I was there. I do liken the advice of the priests to that which was given to Moses which I later read in the old testament of the Bible. Both Alexander and Moses are influenced by Egypt, as Moses is sometimes also thought of as a Pharaoh, and some of the instruction given is similar once I found it.
While it is never said what happened within, stories were told that Alexander has asked if his father's murderers had been punished, and the answer seems to indicate that his true father is Zeus, and that therefore there is no need to punish. But he meant Philip and apparently, the priest's gave him the satisfaction that yes, the persons responsible for the death had been punished. That is a nebulous answer of course, and there is no truth that he ever said that since most historians say that he would never tell what had transpired inside to anyone.
My personal memory is that Alexander stood and listening as a priest intoned remarks ina monotone and monotonous manner that I can never forget. The tone was overwhelming to me, and most of it is rite and ritual and theatrics, but it makes an impression. Alexander was advised to follow certain religious rites religiously and zelously and when accomplished, he would always be successful in his battles. He would win and would rule Asia provided that he do as instructed, which is to make certain that the sacrifice is cut in a manner pleasing to the gods.
(Moses likewise has also received the instruction...It is an Egyptian rule.)
It is iteresting to note that Alexander always makes sacrifices to the gods, is a very true devotee to the gods, and makes altars and temples always in Thanksgiving and prays both before and after each of his battles, seeking always the good will of the gods to assist him and save him in battle.
This was a very important journey for Alexander to make because it confirmed what his mother had always told him, and that is that he is destined to rule the world then as his own since he is born to ascend into the glories of the gods and goddesses with whom he will become one.
This is Egyptian and Greek belief, and the record does prove that Alexander did achieve success with the attitude of respect and devotion to his faith in himself, his mother, and the priests who counseled him.
The Greeks and Macedonians were neighboring countries, and Greece had had a great influence on the life of the Macedonians who considered themselves to be Greek as well. While the Greeks were cultured, civilized, and by their standards, refined, the Macedonians were crude, rude, and burley and riff raff. They were mostly from farming and mining stock, and did not have that city refinement and polish that the Athenians had. They were a drunken bunch of bums in many ways in comparison to the elite of Athens.
But they had become a well trained and disciplined military power under the rule of Philip, Alexander's father, who had been trained himself in nearby Thebes when a youngster, and he carried those lessons back home to where he developed and raised an army through which Alexander was tutored and trained to become the fine general that he was at age 18.
So when one comes to learn who Alexander really is, one comes to wonder how on earth am I learning all this about myself now, at this stage in my life?
I am always amazed at this, as it is truly astounding to me. Yet, I believe in myself as much now as Alexander did in himself in that time period. There is some humor in it, as one has to understand the law of opposites, or reversi, in life changes. One example that I will state now is the matter of scars. Alexander is truly covered with scars, and as he says none in the back, no backstabbing. I have only one scar from childhood and have always been impressed by the fact that I have had few physical health problems, and therefore, no visible scars to show. Louis XIV had always loved the game of reversi, and sometimes I am able to see the reverse coin of Alexander with me on the other side...war and peace.
While I am writing this, it appears that I am glossing over both George and Louis by not telling their story in the same way that I am telling Alexanders, but that is because of the way the knowledge of them impacts me. I will sum it all up at the conclusion of this, explaining why.
I don't intend for this to become a regurgitation of their history, but in Alexander's case, I am summarizing a lot of it due to the fact that I don't believe that Alexander is known that well in the world as are both George and Louis XIV.
Yet, in circles to where Alexander is known, he takes precedence over each of the other and dwarfs them both.
Life is funny in the way that people perceive past histories. And I slip back and forth into third person and first person all according to where I am coming from. When I am telling of my own experiences, lived first hand through memory, I become the I character; otherwise, I talk about Alexander from the third person.
Alexander as a young man at 18 is really in many ways 35. He is an old man despite his youth. He has since childhood trained in the military with his father, and as a young teenager, had gone with a friend to perform one of the first acts of bravery to be a soldier, and that is the act of killing a man. He became a hard bitten killer early so that death of others meant little to him except success for his goals as a soldier. He is not to be misunderstood about his ruthlessness. He is utterly devoid of fear when it comes to killing someone, so when he sought advice from the delphic oracle, it is surely no surprise that when the oracle would not grant him his wish, he forcibly grabbed her, and made her speak to him...Her one word was "invincible" and with that, Alexander let go of her, thrust her away, and walked away satisfied. He had all he needed to hear.
Did I go back in time to remember that?
No, I have not ever had any memory of that occasion, but the other oracle that he was to address was in the Egyptian Desert, an oasis called Siwa, whereupon he had the gods and goddesses assist him in his struggle to reach the truth of whether he is a god or not through the counsel and advice of the oracle of Siwa. I did relive that experience, one of the most intersting and unusual memories that I have of Alexander in Egypt. That and the creation of the city of Alexander are the only two memories that I recall of Egypt at all. He did spend a lot of time there, was recognized and received as a Pharaoh, and in all probability, Egypt is where his body was taken after his death.
I believe that he should have been cremated according to custom but in fact his body became a bit of a power struggle amongst his followers so that there are many varieties of stories about what really happened to his body.
According to legend, Alexander and his followers crossed the desert to find the Siwa Oasis, but got lost in the desert to luck it out when a rainstorm came to give them water to quench their thirst, and either a pair of birds, or a pair of snakes led them to the promised oasis. One is supposed to realize that these birds or snakes are the gods in disguise leading Alexander to his destination. Nothing happens by accident with Alexander, and unfortunately, today's modern storytellers omit the occasions of the gods assistance much too often.
Alexander was apparently long awaited and was received immediately and much discussion is given as to whether the words were garbled when he was greeted, but it sounded to him as though the priests had said, son of zeus, and thus, he has always believed ever since that he is the true son of zeusammon, the Egyptian and Greek god.
He is often pictured wearing a pair of rams horns on his head after that time which indicated that he is the god.
Supposedly, he never told anyone, not even his best friend, Hephaestion, what the priests had told him, but did tell his mother that he would tell her when they would be together next. Unfortunately, he never saw his mother again to tell her anything about it.
I know what happened when I relived the experience. Alexander did little talking at all, but mostly listened. In fact, I stood as I recall listening to the monotone voice of a priest intone his remarks. It is said that there is a boat like structure there that moves according to questions. That is not what happened when I was there. I do liken the advice of the priests to that which was given to Moses which I later read in the old testament of the Bible. Both Alexander and Moses are influenced by Egypt, as Moses is sometimes also thought of as a Pharaoh, and some of the instruction given is similar once I found it.
While it is never said what happened within, stories were told that Alexander has asked if his father's murderers had been punished, and the answer seems to indicate that his true father is Zeus, and that therefore there is no need to punish. But he meant Philip and apparently, the priest's gave him the satisfaction that yes, the persons responsible for the death had been punished. That is a nebulous answer of course, and there is no truth that he ever said that since most historians say that he would never tell what had transpired inside to anyone.
My personal memory is that Alexander stood and listening as a priest intoned remarks ina monotone and monotonous manner that I can never forget. The tone was overwhelming to me, and most of it is rite and ritual and theatrics, but it makes an impression. Alexander was advised to follow certain religious rites religiously and zelously and when accomplished, he would always be successful in his battles. He would win and would rule Asia provided that he do as instructed, which is to make certain that the sacrifice is cut in a manner pleasing to the gods.
(Moses likewise has also received the instruction...It is an Egyptian rule.)
It is iteresting to note that Alexander always makes sacrifices to the gods, is a very true devotee to the gods, and makes altars and temples always in Thanksgiving and prays both before and after each of his battles, seeking always the good will of the gods to assist him and save him in battle.
This was a very important journey for Alexander to make because it confirmed what his mother had always told him, and that is that he is destined to rule the world then as his own since he is born to ascend into the glories of the gods and goddesses with whom he will become one.
This is Egyptian and Greek belief, and the record does prove that Alexander did achieve success with the attitude of respect and devotion to his faith in himself, his mother, and the priests who counseled him.
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