God and Goddesses

When I was at Kent State Universtiy, I took a philosophy class in which women are discriminated against by the professor. He did not think that women had any place in philosophy. In the game of careers, one ends up either a millionaire or a philosopher. If only in life that were the case!

At any rate, we had to write a paper with the theme How I am Honest with Myself, and I was then a prepsychology student, and so I was very involved in psychology and religious beliefs. The paper that I wrote I have kept to this day as it was about how religious beliefs affect us. Little did I know then what I know now, but I remember most of all Karen Horney's self-actualizing person. Whether that professor knew it or not, he did set me off to a search that ended up in my coming to be honest with myself now in a more forthright manner than I had the capability of doing then.

Women have come a long way since then, but mostly, I would agree that sex meaning gender has been a problem in society for aeons and centuries.

While I have become reconciled to the fact that I have had the luxury of time, for reasons I may or may not explain, this effort to look into the past has been one of the most rewarding studies that I have ever made.

I have been schooled in many things in life, teaching, court reporting, travel agent, mixology, word processing, general business, etc..etc.etc. but this self probing led me to the history of persons who I would otherwise have negelected. Frankly, world leaders do not really impress me very much as I accept them as we all do, merely being a group of books on a shelf, a curriculum of study for a potential phd and professorship, and pictures in a history book for school children to learn and forget.

They never are real people, but subjects for movies, t.v. shows, and books and magazins, and all of that is always reduced to a silly caricature which does not do any of the topics justice at all.

I learned a lot about myself in the process. I have always had masculine traits and have likewise always recognized it. I was fastest runner in first grade, I argued incessantly with boys and girls alike, and played with the boys in my neighborhood, and beat up a few when I had the size to do it. As I aged, and stayed small and petite in size, I have to give up my pugnacious spirit to become more acceptable to my friends. Yes, I walked with my baby buggy down the street, played mama, but I was a tomboy until I finally entered college and learned other social skills.

Life is a learning process. Some of us, due to our own temperament and makeup, make more of it than others do. Some of us tackle it headon, and do our own individual best to be ourselves, trying always to understand ourselves along the way.

I have learned most of all that while life will end at some point for each one of us, each of us will survive in a spiritual way, and may return to live life again in a different place, a different time, and a different body.

I have not discussed my psychic abilities here except for the flight of TWA 800, about which I am still very interested. I am sure that in the end the explanation enables the victims relatives to gain money from Boeing or TWA for negligence or mechanical failure of some kind. The real truth of the mystery is probably not what the public will be able to hear. I remember the night well. I had had a burning in my stomach when I was in an argument with my dad, and I remember saying to him, stop it, you are killing me. Two hours later, this plane went down. Searching this here for this blog I learned of its vital statistics which are numbers matching to me. I am very conscious that there is more to life than meets the eye, and I see an uncanny connection to me and my dad that evening.

Life goes on. It will always remain a mystery. For now, I will post this and return in a short while.