New Year about to arrive

I cannot believe that it will be 2012, that 2011 is nearly gone...at this time of the month, I am always ready for the first to come round again since it gives me a little money and am always broke by the end of the month..dreadful cycle which I hate so am back again to working the lottery game planning to win this next Wednesday if I can make it happen.

I watched this crazy ABC show the other evening and could tell the immediate similarities between some of the plot, dialogue, and intent with respect to my Alexander novel. I have placed it to be read at a file at Alexander-Macedon at yahoo discussion groups so that anyone can read it but it had been written a long time ago so that it was also on a flash and in my computer files at various places. I heard distinct sounds that sounded like it and recognized the thin plot a bit.

So that same group was on again tonight with a Halloween episode and the pumpkins looked darn familiar. Aren't all pumpkins just alike? And I kid you not, I am getting the gist of this show anyway as I recognize the lady actress who is supposed to be from Cleveland, Ohio as I recall from a different show she starred in in past sitcoms.

So I realized again tonight something that Nightline had done years ago with a Chinese pow who mimicked me in a thing that I did in Century City, California near Harry's Bar. I am more than just gutsy to prove that I am under constant watch and study all the time so I did something that Ted Koppel did show a Chinese pow do also...whether this was contrived or what I cannot say but I saw it and realized what they were saying...that is all I will say for now. I don't tell on myself all the time.

But case is proved beyond any doubt to myself. shutting down now.

Day After Christmas

Wouldn't you know, all day and night yesterday I was thinking about my pe nding novel which I have begun. I opened it up for viewing by placing it in the files at Alexander-Macedon discussion group. I have been thinking about it and rereading it over and over ever since. It is only a first draft, actually second revision, and while I love parts of it, I dislike other parts of it which I know have to be restructured and rewritten. Once I got it going though, I began to stick with one frame of mind til the finish line, and put it on a kind of recess until I decide to take it up once again.

I also had to change my gmail password again. How many times I have done that is nearly ridiculous. So often I get tired of it.

Visitors from other states are now lodging in Scottsdale and neighboring cities for the bowl games. I guess it is Oklahoma and Iowa who are here at this writing but I saw sweatshirts today from other states as well. I made a serious mistake of going to the mall to get an idea of how busy day after Christmas would be...too busy for my tastes but I did learn that pets are on sale at Puppies In Love.

I am also working on the lottery game again and have devised another new system which I feel will help me to at last win this game this January. I wish I would have thought of this sooner as it is very helpful to me right now.

The horses all came in as I had thought that they would. Favorites won today at opening day at Santa Anita. Opening Day is not the day to scare prospective patrons away so the races went off 1.2.3 just as they should have.

I did not play. Not in the mood for horse racing right now.

The local news is on so I will close the computer down. Found I can use it a Starbucks with wifi. Will do that this coming week as I have used half my allowance already.

The importance of caring

This will be very short because my cat is pestering me to play with him and to get away from the computer. He wants attention now. So on that note, I will admit to playing around here with photos and attachments.

I had intended to explain that in order to get good government we must truly care and listen and demand that our own wishes and desires be met when these men and women decide to represent us in congress. I cannot in good conscience identify with very many of the current crop of pretenders to the highest office in the land.

I am not happy with the opposition party either but I am certainly dismayed at tyrannical, dictatorial, repressive policies such as these men and women are suggesting.

To care is to demand that we get the best leadership possible and so far, that is is as unlikely to happen as it is to see icebergs float at the equator.

Gay Life Style

I know that I have talked about this subject a lot.

Tonight I received a post from a friend I met through Tudor Talk. This man is a supporter of gay rights and gay marriage, and often I think that he spends too much time on just that subject. But nonetheless, he has his cause which is to bring about laws of fairness to those who live their lives as open gays.

I have always supported gay rights since childhood due to having come to know so many gay men early in my adolescence and early 20's. Many men are bisexual, use both men and women, and I believe that it is better than men and women be open and honest about it rather than lying about it. I nearly married a man who was bisexual but backed out of it, and this many years later, am happy that I had the wisdom when young not to tie the knot with a man who had sex easily and regularly with members of both sexes.

I had not really known the sexual practices of men who were gay in that time as it took many years for me to learn what it is that they do with one another. A book called faggot did really explain it all and I read that book only in the past ten years, but at least the guy was honest and direct about the way that gay men feel about men in geneal and women as well.

I had had a gay hairdresser when I first moved to California who was always trying to make me look like a hooker. That was considered a compliment in that time, believe it or not. He actually is the only man I know who wore mascara on his eyelashes. He was a nice young man, hip, as they say, and treated me very nicely and well thank you. He was probably one of the few hair stylists who actually work with my hair and make it look decent.

So I have never understood why it is that the Republican men are so afraid of the gay lifestyles since there are many gays who vote and think Republican.

Hypocrisy is something that should not be practiced in the halls of government but so far Americans do themselves dirt all the time when they vote for the group of men and women who are elected to congress by betraying their own interests when voting for someone who clearly does not represent their own best interests.

To pretend that you are superior to someone simply because you do as most normal people do, marry, raise a family, live either happily or unhappily, as notice the divorce rate in America now, is absolutely the most asinine thing in the world to do. I will be blunt now. Anybody, intelligent, stupid, pretty, ugly, deformed, normal or whatever can reproduce through the normal means of taking ONE (a euphemism for copulation). Any person can get fucked. It is that simple. Like it or not, it is an easy thing to do. Nobody has to be a rocket science to do it. But gays choose to do it either in someone's mouth or asshole. Straights do it in a woman's vagina. It is all the same thing...as ejaculation or getting one's rocks off is the end result.

Government should stay out of the bedroom, out of the business of contracts between men and women who choose to marry, whether a member of the opposite sex or the same sex except to issue the license and make out the contract that says that these two persons intend to stick life out together for a long period of time, maybe to death do them part, or divorce do them part.
]
As I literally shudder, shake, and tremble all over at the thought of such a lifelong contract to some man (since I am woman, hear me roar) I finally believe that I am a resurrected one, come back from the grave, and frankly do not need to make that kind of commitment. I prefer to be like the angels in Heaven who do not marry, no need to after all, since procreation is the real purpose of Marriage or to escape loneliness, and to find someone to do your dirty laundry for you if you are male.

I am not being that lighthearted about this. Marriage should be a serious commitment, an honorable state of being, but it should be due to love of one another, not forced into it by some social status or false religious belief.

I like Ron Paul for his not signing the pledge that these weak minded Republicans signed. They are too stupid for me to appreciate. God save America from such foolish people.

Blogging with new computer

I am learning all the time what a difference a given make of a computer does make. Unfortunately, in this computer world everything is hit and miss and learn the hard way never knowing who it is that one can trust to help you when trying to buy a computer.

But one thing I know is that to do photography one needs a computer that has a way to have the pictures placed into the system. So far I have not yet discovered except for the camera where that can be done. So far I have a lot of photos of myself in a variety of positions.

And I am finding all the time that there are so many gremlins at work on it that it is giving me fits and starts. This is a netbook by Gateway which is really Acer now. I do not know yet every aspect of the features on this netbook but am learning slowly.

I will when I can do it which hopefully will be very soon get a new computer fully capable of doing everything that I will want to do for my simple tasks.

Teaching Children the truth of Christmas

Today a facebook friend posted an interesting letter which came originally from the Huffington Post. It was a letter from a mother questioning whether she was raising her son properly in not teaching him some religious beliefs about God and church. The woman went on to explain that while both she and her husband had been reared in a Christian tradition that neither are exercising or practicing a faith and thus, her small son is going without any kind of religious upbringing. She was questioning whether she was doing him right or wrong in this attitude.

In the protestant faith, the traditions with in the church are usual and almost always the same, a few hymns are sung, a sermon is preached, a prayer is said, and a collection box is passed, and everyone is satisfied at the end that everyone has done their Christian duty and dutifully leave the church satisfied that another week has ended or begun well in satisfying the requirement of showing up to hear a mighty and awesome sermon.

The church plate is usually what is most important to many as money is always an issue in the survival of any church body, whether to support the preacher and his family, or to pay the building fund.

In the Catholic church, one is sinning if one does not attend all the necessary obligations that the church demands from its flock and again as in the protestant faith, the ongoing ritual of prayer, communion, and greeting one another in peace is supposed to satisfy the requirement that all true Christians gather together to pray in unison and agreement, acknowledging Jesus as their saviour.

Then one goes home, casts off all the pretenses, and settles back into the family ritual whatever it may be of arguing, fighting, putting one another down, or in the case of a happy and loving family, simply doing one's own thing whatever it may be, chores, play, homework, games, whatever.

There are always two different kinds of households in America: those who love each other and enjoy being together, living together, and praying together, and those who are actually hating each other, envious of one another's friends, time, pleasures, or whatever, and sibling rivalry of that kind often makes for great enmities so why bother with the pretense when one knows that one really wishes to bop the other one off.

So was this woman wise to ask about whether she should try to instill a religious notion in her son or whether to just let him be, not bothering to take him to church where he would be taught the usual Sunday School stories about Jesus loving little children, and wanting them all to come to him, or to let him grow up to decide for himself that mommy and daddy had let him down by not taking him to church to learn those early lessons.

In the number of inmates incarcerated in jails today, how many had gone to church in their youth? Why did it not penetrate their minds not to break the laws of society? In the hospitals and nursing homes today, how many are also a product of a religious upbringing? Does a religious upbringing matter to a child? Does a child need to attend a Sunday School to learn the lessons taught there? Does that lesson affect that child's lifestyle for the remaining days of his life?

If there is a God, she says, and you are out there, I am passing on this...

Does she pass? God is supposed to see into our hearts...can one even understand what is in one's own heart?

Rereading my novel on Alexander

Writing a novel is a huge job. I took it upon myself to write about Alexander of Macedon's childhood and have sent a rudimentary copy of the finally supposedly finished version to three people in whom I have placed a bit of trust to read it. I know only of one who is actually reading it as I have received confirmation from her that she is reading it in her free time.

I am rereading it to see how it sounds to me as I reread it aloud and I am finding areas which need a lot of rewrites. I have to let it go cold so that I can get a better perspective on it when rereading it than when I was immersed into it when writing it. It takes a lot of preparation to simply go back into the time period to renew the feel and memories that I occasionally experience to write this out. I do undergo certain spontaneous memories at times and a few I include in the storytelling aspect. Most I keep to myself.

I did experience a flashback to the city of Corinth while writing this experience and I have never seen anything so lovely as the setting that I found myself in when back in that time period. I have this desire now to see Corinth today as I had had no idea what a beautiful spot this region in Greece is until I found myself back there staring down at the sea and looking at what were then temples. It was an amazing experience.

Naturally, I looked up Corinth in google images and will do so again after I post this now.

I Adore Alexander,my cat

I am trying to get a photo of my cat on my blog. this was taken when I first received my computer so this is the only photo I have of him to date that I can use here. The others are all on my cell phone...complications until I learn how to bring all this together.

Hawthorne's Jim Edgar Futurity Race

I mentioned the fact that many races are fixed so that a horse can win or cannot win. In a book about Man O War many old times methods of trying to fix a race are discussed and frankly are quite shocking. There is little doubt that many winning horses were in danger of losing their lives back in the 30's and 40's since there were unscrupulous characters who would try anything to prevent them from winning. Phar Lap appears to be a horse that fell victim to someone's efforts to keep him from becoming an American phenomena as he had been in Australia where even there many objected to his long winning streak.

So today there are two examples of horses that one must question whether it was fixed for them to win or to lose when one learns the results. One owner had three horses entered, and the least likely won while the heavily favored did not win. In this case, the owner did not get hurt at all, only the simple minded trusting bettor who truly believed that a "best" horse could win again against a minor leaguer...sorry but it turned out not to be true.

Everyone will come away from that race believing what they want about it, that money talked and won! It looks that way when one can only shake one's head in wonder.

That's all on this subject for now.

The favorite, a horse by the name of Twelve Hundred did not win but was trained and owned by the same owner as the horse that did win...so neither trainer or owner lost a thing...just the dumb stiff who bet on Twelve Hundred instead of Real Power.

Christmas Blues

There is a song called Blue Christmas. I believe Elvis sang it along with many others. It will be a blue Christmas without you.

Each year the celebration of Christmas becomes harder and harder to enjoy. As one ages, one realizes how life changes affect one's emotional and mental processes. Fundamentally, Christmas is supposed to be a recognition of the annual event which celebrates the birth of a young god, a child born to become the saviour of the Jewish community, and who expanded it to become the saviour of the gentiles and infidels as well so long as they would recognize his status as the person upon whom one could trust to lead one into a kingdom of love and fulfilment in the state of soul. The physical body is revealed to expose the status of the soul through its health records, meaning that the souls who need to be cured appear to have soul problems...Jesus was able to see into them, help to cure them through the forgiveness of the sin that prevented them from having good health.

Most Christians today do not fully recognize this as the stories of Jesus are dependent upon the interpretation that some priest, preacher, or divine soul can give to them. Most appear to be misinterpreted thus creating all kinds of problems for the many faithful who continue to believe in the truth of the good news of the great lord and master Jesus Christ.

The Holy Ghost is who is supposed to follow Jesus so that the true faithful will always continue to understand the mysteries of the faith.

So now we celebrate the birth of Christ with songs, prayers, and attendance in mass at a public acknowledgement and recognition of that faith. No matter that many do not attend church services regularly but that they do at Christmas. That is good. The fact that they want to celebrate the birth is good news as God sees the true intent and that is what counts.

Sending Christmas cards keeps friendships intact, families apprised of news within the family, and the post office at work. The internet now for many can do the same without all the added expense of postage stamps, and expensive Hallmark or American Greeting cards.

Happy Holidays, or Merry Christmas! It is all the same. Holy Day. Christ's Mass. It is an occasion of happiness, joy, and remembrance to honor the Christ child whose light has led the world into an understanding of healing and peace amongst men of God's will.

Merry Christmas to all!

Songs about Christmas

I just listened to two new standard Christmas songs which are not regularly played or known and wondered at why it is that artists and storytellers continue to feel the need to write a song, a poem, or a story about the time in which Jesus was brought into the world.

Years ago when I was writing for a correspondent course in Children's Literature the Detroit Newspapers had a contest for stories about Christmas. I wrote two stories but did not submit either. I did at one time share the birth of Christ story with a member of a discussion group. Then I wrote another about a child who had suffered the death of his mother and who was trying to adjust to a difficult time due to that untimely death.

Many people suffer more violently at holiday times than any other time since so much stress is placed on family, gift giving, and the need to be a part of a commercial affair rather than a spiritual remembrance.

Should Christmas mean a lot of Christmas presents under a tree? Who can get the most or the biggest or the best? That is how Christmas is basically taught but there is also a time spent going to a church where the preacher teaches about the star that led the Wise Men and the Shepherds to find the small babe who lay in a manger in the back of a busy hotel or inn that had not had a reservation made for this child who came into the world expectantly believe it or not. His birth was a known fact long before it happened.

So Jesus had to sleep on a straw bed and his mother, a young child herself, had to suffer the discomfort of a birth delivery in the rear of an inn while her husband attended to her. Miraculously the child was born and it followed that Mary and Joseph were not alone for long because soon they were visited by the wiseemen and the shepherds who came to see this strange spectacle of a child whose radiance was such that not only was there a star overhead but also a great light that shone round about him.

Playing the horses

I will share a few of my secrets here about horses and racing at the local tracks. One is that many people believe that races are fixed. It would be very difficult to prove that they are, as nobody will ever admit to it, but the word always gets out that some how or other a race is fixed. I think that owners would object to that idea since they are the ones bearing the costs and expenses most in this game, but one never knows if it is possible for jockeys and or trainers to really fix a race so that a horse will or won't win. It works that horses can be drugged to slow down as well as speed up in the world of those who believe that medicines are used for those purposes.

My secret in winning a race is to study the horses's behaviour. If a horse looks as though he is concentrating on the race by putting his head down even with his body, so that he looks straight, it usually means that he is somehow or other concentrating his energy on that race. If his tail swishes, it often means that he is a happy horse, that he is eager to race, and if he is sometimes acting up, trying to stand up, and appears to be moving about a lot, it indicates that he is full of run and energy so that he may be a contender. The horses that generally look straight ahead with head pointed forward come in first or second I have noticed. The horses themselves know what is up. I watched when horses seemed to concentrate on me, and then would win. I had no idea what it was that caused that but if I went to the stalls to watch them get dressed for the race, I would notice their way of looking at me. It made me take notice of them. I began then to study their body language and behaviour.

In truth and honesty, those are the best ways to win a race. You must see the horse for yourself and watch his behaviour and then you can find the horse who will be in the money.

I thought of writing a blog about winning horse races, and so I studied the patterns of jockeys and trainers for certain tracks. Some tracks use the same jockeys repeatedly which is the best way for the bettor to follow the pattern of a jockey. Knowing the streaks of wins and losses by a given jockey does help to make bets, especially exotic bets.

I will post this to facebook as I know there are people there who are interested in this topic. I have kept silent long enough and horses need care and attention.

Back Online

for the past few weeks I have been using my cellphone to check email and to do most computer projects, and as a result, have nearly forgotten what it is like to write on a regular netbook computer. I just did get my security updated so that I have spent some time online and will continue to do so now for awhile. It is amazing at how much we need a computer after we have started to use it and how little we need it for it is a bad habit as had been television.

In truth, it is sad to know that ordinary conversation is being replaced by noses peering into cellphones, ipads, and other mechanical devices. I am surprised that people know how to talk with one another any longer since so many appear to be always on their phones or computers.

But because I just had security put on to this netbook I will be using it more often than in the past few weeks. I nearly drained my cellphone battery by using it as a replacement I think. I did talk to them today about it.

I also talked to the vets about my plan which will expire in March so I must take my cat in to be neutered soon. I have dreaded that operation so much as I would have loved to have had a litter of kittens. So I may be still looking for that female cat to have a litter with Alexander as papa.

The holiday season is dreary for me right now. I am staying away from shopping centers as much as is possible. I sold some gold last month due to banking problems caused by my vet's screwing me up. I am thinking of selling a few rings now. Just thinking it through before I act upon it. The rings are so old and too small for me to wear now. If I get a decent price, I might sell them.

Christmas Time again

It is looking like it will be a white Christmas in many places as the weather has taken a nasty turn, dumping rain into the Valley and snow in the higher elevations as we in the West call it...

I like low elevations to be honest,and I had enough snow in my younger days in the Midwest and more recently in Colorado that thank you but no thank you I do not need snow and ice in my life even at Christmas time.

Today, I had to go to the local pawn shop where I had taken two old rings to get a loan of $25 to pay for a bank overdraft...they made $9 bucks for loaning me $25 when I needed it and recounting this week is a page out of well, never mind...this is how it went. My mpower beeper went off letting me know that I had only 3 days left on credit, so I have exactly $10 on me in cash and $11 in a winning voucher ticket from horse racing. I went to Basha's to put credit on my debit card, and left my keys on the cookie table. While on the bus, I went through my pocketbook dutifully checking that everything was there and could not find my keys...I said, oh no, to the driver, I have to get off the bus, I don't have my keys and frantically raced back to Walgreens to see if they were there, stopped at Chase to see if they were there ( in Basha's) and then down to the SRP kiosk to see if they were there and luckily for me, found them on the cookie counter as nobody had apparently gone near it.

At my age, I double and triple check everything for I am forget about all these little minor things, and chronic about not losing my keys. I was so devastated at that that I could not function well for hours.

Naturally, I had to tell my story, compulsive talker that I am, and everyone said how lucky I was...I was indeed...but on Friday I had to go back and again, I am just wondering what the heck is it with Bashas and that SRP kiosk now, as I made sure not to go in the same door, to do everything carefully, and just like that the case in which I carry allmy cards fell out of my hand onto the floor, and sprayed out all my cards on the floor. Was I ever mad at that! I picked up all the cards, doublechecked to make sure none were under the game machine that is next to kiosk and even got a man to bend down and look for me to make sure that I have everything...driving me crazy too, but that is old age and clumsiness and dropsy for you.

So today, after leaving the pawn shop where the men who were there were so nice to me, gentlemanly, and told me that I could come anytime I needed as they have me on record now, I walk out the door, and as two people are walking towards me, the ring falls out of my hand, and I am down on the ground, trying to retrieve it from under a rear end of a car...they asked me if I was all right...I could not believe this, mind you! Two days in a row.

That did it. I decided no to horses and went to Arizona Mills shopping where I found two sweatshirts at Penny's on sale and bought them, stopped at Panda Express, got some orange chicken and shrimp and then proceeded home, to find my phone's battery is dying on me as it needs recharging. It has not been used at all so why is it draining all of a sudden twice in one day!

I will leave it on the charger all night as when I woke up this morning the juice had drained out of it. It takes forever to recharge so that means a trip to the service shop on Monday and probably a new phone.

Agh! This will be one heck of a month. Did find a tower for my cat at Big Lots and want it...gotta find a way to get it home and to get the money for it...

Yeah, this saga never ends...relentlessly.

Computer Problems

I have not been writing anything for sometime due to security on my computer. I had to purchase a netbook due to this computer having been hacked into so often and so wary of viruses and problems. I am frankly tired of windows computers having so many security problems. As a result, I am going to try to become proficient enough at horses to be able to buy a new computer which will be assured to be safe for me to use. Someone actually ordered me a security program which a week earlier I had already told same company I would not renew since it had not protected my system properly. The bank called me to notify me of the order and asked if I had authorized it. I had not and had to go through all kinds of problems to get that situation straightened out. As it was both bank and company were good about it and helped me to get through it but it cost me dearly and taught me a lesson, one of which is get a new computer but make certain that it is not a windows system.

So I will be purchasing a macintosh before too very long.

And it will be secure.

Lesson learned.

I have been using cellphone computer which is only a photograph of the stuff that is on original computer so a salesman told me when I asked.

I am contemplating writing new blogs...am investigating that as much as possible. Blogging is really helpful if you know how to do it right. I am already considering ideas for a blog to earn money.

all for now.

Toying with new blog ideas

I read a very interesting blog on making money with a blog and how to do it and again it uses google ads as the means for making a sizeable income after apparently a year's time in which one has developed ones blog. I doubt that it is as easy as this man purports it to be for him, but I am sure that it has possibilities. One must set up the money management section of google to undergo this experience of placing ads on your blogsite so that you will reap rewards and income from it.

I have worked on the lottery games for years and I will probably return to playing the lottery asap, since my horse racing stints are pretty meagre. I did rather badly this afternoon deciding to play only Delta Downs millionaire game. I did a rather good job picking them, but I always have a problem when finally placing the bet, reverting back to old habits which are hard to break...always sucked in by the favorite who by rights should win the race.

The most fantastic thing happened in Churchill Downs that absolutely blew my mind. A while back I had written a formula for playing the superfecta which is a cool formula and today it worked at churchill Downs...Previously it had also worked in an Australian race I saw streamed in to our local t.v.s

My problem is that I prefer to bet where nobody can get an idea of how much I am playing or what horses I am choosing.

I am extremely superstitious about the quality of my voice and a horse if I am talking to someone. I am also superstitious about people who yell out the names or numbers of horses in my presence. I had noticed that problem in Florida when I was there, and sure enough Cannonade won that year at the Derby and some guy was screaming out the horse's name and number...It still goes on and today once again, the same thing happened and the horse again did the same thing...it is a very weird thing so that on the next two races of that year at Preakness and Belmont I would not go near the sports bar so as not to be in the hearing of those yelling so we got Little Current.

My voice also weakens very much when a horse I discuss is a loser...it happened again today as it had done at Churchill with Snow Chief. I knew then that Snow Chief could not win just as today I knew that Doug's Buddy could not win besides the fact that he shook his head so I could see that he was saying no.

I had picked Sabrecat as a possibility believe it or not myself but when it came time to play I stayed with the favorite using longshots only in the trifecta which I did try to play.

But the 8 horse had been picked in a facebook note and sure enough, the guy who was talking to me won with it and was kind enough to have placed a bet for me which I accepted so I won because of him. He was a really nice guy to do that and as that has happened so seldom in my life I was in shock about it...I really like him for that.

On that note, sounding off and leaving the premises....gotta be careful til December.

Sounding Off

In a few minutes I am going to attend a party being given for the former manager, Nancy, who has been retired from her job. She is 63 and the new bosses, the son and daughter of the owner, have taken over, and are giving her a good bye party. I finally saw Nancy earlier this week in the clubhouse when we were both using the wifi for our computer needs. So I decided to say good bye to her as manager at this party tonight and to meet the other apartment guests who may show up to get some free grub.

I cooked potato pancakes today...Sandra Kuolt had given me three bags of potatos a while back so I had to finally boil all of them and so today shredded eight to make potato pancakes, Southern Living recipe.

Since I am on for only a short time without Norton's security this will be written quickly to avoid problems.

I am on a very tight budget, limited income, since the government insists upon being stupd in its processing social security programs and I have yet to return to attempt to get needed benefts...hoping always to find a way not to need them.

Verizon did help me through this month by sending rebate in a timely fashion...notice that it is a part of the xfactor system and that I noted also last night...as I am very pleased with Verizon right now.

I needed the $50 bucks.

I wrote a piece about my health for those who demonstrate that they care about me at a facebook note section. It was late at night so probably few saw it. I got to sleep finally about 3 o'clock this morning and slept til ten when I got a phone call from who knows who and no identifying clue except number as to who called. Hope not someone for Capital One as I would gladly sue the daylights out of them.

I am angry about a lot of wrongdoing in this nation. I usually take action. People who would know the truth about my situation would understand why. I am tired of the politics, the unfairness towards the needy, and the rich getting by with outrageous conduct and behaviour because they are either in government or have high paid attornies who know how to manipulate the laws to suit themselves. Juries are often a joke especially with celebrities, always letting celebrities get by with murder.

Funny thing about the Natalie Wood case right now...exposing the fact that many people find Robert Wagner guilty, and a few who actually remember when and how all this happened off Catalina Island back in 1981 on November 29.

I remember well where I was as I had just painted my own self portrait in Davison Michigan. Never have forgotten that untimely drowning as it reminded me of my students at Center Intermediate once again and a kid by the name of Tom A. Also made me think of a girl named Debbie L. So life is strange when Hollywood imitates real life so often in many ways.

I had a schoolgirl crush on Robert Wagner as his birthday is the day before mine and I fell in love with him in my adolescence. I actually saw him once at Santa Anita. I feel that the drowning was a bit like a movie that Natalie starred in called This Property Is Condemned with Robert Redford. Redford is one hunk of a guy and Natalie was one gorgeous girl whose best work was in West Side Story imho.

I liked her a lot.

Robert Wagner went on to marry Jill St. John, a hot honey of a red head whose fame was well known in my younger years. I am still in love with RJ.

He always reminded me of my first boyfriend in first grade, Jay Bergman, who I dearly love to this day too. I had loved Bobby Driscoll then also. He was wonderful in So Dear to my Heart, a Disney movie. I have always loved Walt Disney Studios also. They are basically good people and very kind to me personally. I remember when I went to a dance there and Les Brown was playing...when I walked in, he struck up the band to play Hello Dolly. I know I belong at Disneyland and Disneyworld...I am a real Mickey Mouse person.

That's all for now...sounding off.

New blog

I will continue using this blog but am about to embark upon creating a new blog...not exactly sure where or how...this has all been a trial and error situation. Many problems in learning how to write blogs, how to insert photos and videos, and how to make them focused on a single subject or topic. I do not like to be too narrow but a friend who writes her novels on blogs has convinced me that it may be possible to write short novels or stories which I may attempt.

The real reason that I am often careless and indifferent to using great care in writing a blog is that I am too aware of how easy it is to go to a page and lift it. I am rather particular about being able to capitalize on my own works rather than having some other person take it from me and run with it getting credit as if it had been theirs.

So for that reason, I often allow grammatical erros, spelling erros, and typos to stay on a page rather than removing them, thinking that if a person is going to just take my page and pass it off as his that it will bear those errors...he can be punished for those as well. The method in my madness as the saying goes is to protect myself at all costs.

I realized a long time ago that nobody is going to be able to afford a court case on plagiarism, and frankly, many of us will never know if our stuff is lifted or not. I can't beat the bushes trying to find out who is imitating and copying me so much.

The simple truth is that people should realize that I talk back and forth to people in the television media quite frequently and they quite frenquently respond and talk back to me as well.

Will close now...am concerned about the verizon signal tonight as well as Norton.

Writing novels on a blog

Do people actually follow blogs that are written as novels? That would be interesting to try, wouldn't it? Thinking about it...but how do you protect your own work? I just don't trust it.

Blogging

Thanks to Mme. Guillotine I have learned that writing a novel on a blogspot is a way to attract agents. On that note, I am considering trying that as a way of testing the waters. I am usually as protective of my ideas as a major auto company is of their supersecret models.

Now the problem is knowing which blogger group to use as this one has often advertised that your blog could be published and sold..That means creating another account, and probably doing as google does by selling ads. I did learn through create space though that one has to get all the business side accomplished before one even begins...first thing first when it comes to marketing.

Verans Day and 11/11/11

So far this day has not been any different from any other, and I often think that today's media are making too much of the Mayan Calendar and other natural events...it is a bit gray here in the Valley, but warm, and I did finally get out of the apartment to go to the grocer's and drugstore, stopped at the hardware store to see that they are conducting a food drive, and even toured the last ten minutes of the Thrift Store which was about to close its doors.

I did not know how much shelves cost or I would have my shelf brought from the other apartment to this one but I foolishly said, oh leave it...now I find that they cost a fortune to buy at a hardware store but bet I can find some thrown out in the alley's somewhere.

I wrote a chapter on Alexander earlier this past summer about sexual abuse to children and so the Joe Paterno story prompted me to react to that on a discussion group. I fortunately was able to delete my outburst.

Jerry Sandusky deserves to serve time in jail for his misconduct. I am as opposed as anyone to the problem of child abuse, whether it is boys or girls.

Because the gay world has latched onto Alexander as some kind of gay icon, I am taking the exact opposite approach in my book since I believe from stories that I have read and of course, my own intimate knowledge, that he was opposed to gay behaviour. He was a very masculine oriented man who disliked anything slightly effeminate displayed in a man. In fact, my premise is that his father admonished him when he was criticizing the Sacred Band for their lifestyles. I wish I had kept notes on all the books I read and all the authors but one author in particular pointed out that he had critized them to have Philip turn and admonish him for it. In fact, Philip more or less brought about his own demise by putting a curse on those who found anything wrong with the Sacred Band which was intended for Alexander. Philip is a strange man, full of both love and hate for his own son.

I do not believe that Alexander ever engaged in homosexual practices as he has made it known loud and clear that his interest is in his own divinity, not depravities which they were considered in that time as well as this time.

So I wrote a chapter where the young boys discuss an incident of child abuse and physical abuse amongst themselves...when I read the Grand Jury report,I thought uhoh, it sounds a lot like my chapter...bothered me a lot that way...proving what? that universal truths then are the same now...


My book has a lot of rewriting to do, and I am not doing a NaNoWriMo stint this time round. I am still too absorbed in my own novel, but thanks to my computer problems have put it on hold til I get a computer that won't be infiltrated. I have Norton right now but it is about to expire and I intend to try to keep it as it has protected me so far.

Breeders Cup

Strange things happen that are for real. I am a very keen observer of minutiae that means nothing to anyone but myself. However, I learned years ago that for some reason or other at Christmas time when I lived in Michigan my ss numbers would come up in the lottery so that I could win on them. I notice these kinds of things as birthday combinations also work in lotteries. Sadly, I have missed most of them, being a little short on the up and at em department in betting on such things. My mother would always get so mad at me for not betting on horses that I felt or knew would come in. I did at least bet on two this year to also win on them but that was a rough one for me to do at that time too.

But at the time I was watching Michigan State playing Minnesota at the Upper Deck, a bar that I decided to watch the Breeders Cup races from due to its proximity to my home, in other words, closest one to me, I had a rough time of it in one way...so noisy and the atmosphere not really one that lends itself to making sound bets. But I watch the horses intensely to see which horse is actually wanting to win the race and how he shows it to me, but depending upon directors and cameraman is a bit iffy at times although a few horses did communicate well.

One was Amazombie. I could tell that horse was going to win and so I put a small wager on it, having talked myself out of playing anything substantial as the previous day had been very rough at the exotics games that I played.

I had started out with a small amount and so made certain that I did not do anything stupid so I was prudent to a fault. I had become aware of Force Freeze through some analyst or handicapper's comments but I singled the Amazombie horse(7) and Force F(6)came in with him...Michigan State was playing a football game then, and came out in front of Minnesota at about the same time that Amazombie came in...My MSU student number has 76 as the last two numbers which I use yet today, and so there I was, watching 7 and 6 come intogether, and ironically 5 also came in third....

It finally dawned on me as I had been pulling for Game On Dude all along and due to a man asking me a question I learned that Ruler On Ice would be in the money...I have a special gift that few know about but which I have learned to listen to especially at racetracks, as Strike the Gold came to me the same way for the Kentucky Derby and a horse at Hollywood Park one year ridden by Cash Asmussen...other people know about this and trust me enough to bet on it when I let them know about it...Joyce,a photographer, anyway, again, the little voice came out to let me know about Ruler On Ice so I knew that 4 would be in the money...Now do I pay attention to all these things and make hay on them? Sometimes, not always...as I do get emotional and tend to make mistakes too like not paying attention to myself when I should...so another guy asked me for longshots and I gave him Game On Dude and Ruler On Ice as I knew that ROI would be in the money but I did not know where...

I should have won that high 5 but I missed out on Drosselmeyer despite its being mentioned at a video in which handicappers did admit to who they thought would be the longshot to win...Drosselmeyer was mentioned so I should have heeded that and my own inclinations...I did ask how much the high 5 would cost...a dollar a bet...so I was tempted but did not have it figur3ed.

3/8 could have made me rich had I bet the exacta...but I didn't but 38 is a personal number of mine that I should have realized if I had been thinking...dang it...half of 76...where was I? well, I did win on Amazombie and because I had seen Hansen in his two earlier races, I knew how good he is, and so took a chance on him but bet win only.

Naturally, I am muttering to myself about all of this...what a day!

Breeders Cup

My big failing in life is that I am honest to a fault. Whether people like it or not, I tell the truth about most things...naturally there are times when I can lie, but if and when I do lie, it is with a purpose as I have always said that my breath is too valuable to waste it on a lie.

So it is with the Breeder's Cup which I gave a lot of time to develop so that I could run right in and make a great play and win tons of money...I failed to do that miserably...everything that could go wrong has gone wrong but I need the money so much that I sat myself down and worked out a plan to win a superfecta race and while it has weaknesses it has strengths as well...but I did not attempt it yet.

I had to go with my usual win, place, and show bet or win only. I could not win with any exotics when I tried them...had a rough time this week on those but I can always win on singles so I stick to the singles.

I have won a superfecta and a trifecta and exactas in the past but for some reason I could not get them together right the past two days.

I had a great time though as the races themselves were fantastic and surprising...I knew that they would be but some really got past me. I tried not to get emotional but I could not help it, as I am a sucker for all kinds of sob stories and I did get emotionally involved with a couple of horses.

I have mixed feelings about the Classic as Game On Dude was so close when he got caught at the wire...it did break my heart to see that.

Oh well, I will put this on now and probably sooner or later, put a video on. But right now, I can't take it and don't want to see if youtube has it yet.

Waiting for Breeders Cup

I am putting all my eggs in one basket this coming November at the Breeders Cup so I have been reading everything that is being discussed by all those who will be playing the game, pitting their expertise, hunches, tips, hopes, and money on a variety of horses. Will they choose bloodlines, trainers, jockeys, or past performance as the reason for their decision? I wonder. I will be choosing odds and risk chances...

I am going to try to free myself from emotional betting. It is easy to get attached to horses which is the most serious mistake one can make when betting and wanting to win.

My cat is meowing for me to close now...I see someone is one skype but so far I have used it only twice.

Doing a lot of shorthand now...going to close...am not sure about Nanowrimo this year...not that crazy now.

Horrible October

This month has been the most exasperating that I have had in a while and I hope never to have another like it. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong but I am struggling to get through it, hoping that November with the Breeder's Cup will finally get me into the financial strata that I wish to be. A lot depending upon how I do at the races in early november and it is guaranteed to be an exciting two days of championship horseracing.

I was reminded of my years of adventure tripping back in time again recently when in the middle of the night I had a vision of the SunKing in a profile type setting emphasizing his nose but also his youth as it was very black and white in appearance to me. Then came the remembrance of the death and execution of Marie Antoinette with whom I had been compared when teaching in Southern California. I realized all of California had been a part of this huge joke about the "slow guillotine" which referred to smog then but also to Louis King, a professor at one of the local universities who taught some of us a bit of sociology then...as I look back now and see how all this was played out, I realize a lot of setups contributed to what became known as Watergate, involving President Nixon then.

If I had known then what I know now, I wonder what would have happened...but suffice it to say I did not know much of anything then in comparison to what I have learned in the past decade or so here in Arizona.

I am putting on hold my novel on Alexander due to computer problems. I like the netbook but my material is on a computer that has been compromised so many times I do not trust it to use it any longer, and my concept of the book has truly changed since I began it.

I once upon a time began a book on Louis XIV also in which again I was a bit paranoid about the idea that someone could rip me off by reading and copying all my thoughts and once I began it I cut it off so that I would not be having my thoughts stolen away from me.

I watched the video Versailles, Dream of a King, which one of the women at the Louis XIV discussion group had mentioned and was very impressed with muc of it. I again remembered things which I had seen in my trance situations and have left remain dormant. I could try to write a book on the King also but it will take a long time and a new computer to do it. I don't trust many in computerville much.

I continue to discuss with myself all these experiences which I underwent, and try to determine why it is that one can be blessed with that kind of recollection in a given time such as this one. It has taught me to value this time period for what it is pertaining to myself, but I admit that I learned much from those time periods to compare the changes in environment between then and now. None had electrical or technological systems such as we know now...All had to invent and make up their own form of entertainment.

We are a very much more passive lot of people today than people of previous ages who had to act to get anything done. All this technology may be for the good but it has its drawbacks as well. But once we have it, we become so dependent upon it we fail to see the truth of what it does to us and for us.

I have x dollars to get to November 2d on and that concerns me a lot...Not enough money at all. I stretch it out as much as possible but it is rough doing.

Imagine having had a financial minister take care of all your financial needs...Louis had Colbert to do his work for him even though I remember a story I read about how Louis showed off the Versailles to a banker who was visiting so that he could get some money from him...

Well, I am probably going to regret putting my pittance on here so will erase it now. Just continuing to use this as diary more than exhibitions as frankly, I don't expect too much from this blog now. I rarely read any previous posts and anything that I have said is only repeated now and then to refresh my memory. I did learn that common thread that has enabled me to learn of these past and former lifetimes...I cannot explain it...it is too strange and too unusual for anyone to make sense of but suffice it to say that the being that exists to have been all these men has been revealed to me so that I understand it. It is that wee voice from within that one is supposed to listen to and thus learn from...

I think it is that thing we call soul after all...and frankly, it has to have intelligence to make itself known to those with intelligence...if I am able to explain this properly.

But I shall try to get this concept articulated to be comprehended...there are many tracks within the human mind...the one that is in operation now is one that has been educated to use a typewriter, has learned a language skill, and is that which is known and has an identity as a person who is the Me that is doing all the work of writing this out...within this same person is another intelligent force that is capable of communication through the same language but is a separate mental process than the "me" but which communicates to me its being so that I recognize that it is a separate part of "me" which apparently is that which belongs to each one of the various other entities...I thought of it as a the vine, and all the identities of each other lifetime as the cluster of grapes hanging from the vine.

So long as I had that to ride upon I could then enter into the lives of the other persons who I had "been" when I gravitated into them and learned the pieces of their lives...that is the connection which when I decide to write on any of them, I can find and use to learn once more some of the pieces of the lives of the past.

It is a thread that is within me that lets me go back into time and even in the present is there for me to tape into when I choose to learn something if I decide to do it...

I know that this is not a very well stated definite explanation but it will have to do for now as I have to close and get back to my apartment. Closing for now.

Finally settling into how to write my novel

I have been having so many problems lately...my nerves frankly are not strong enough for me to weather all these problems without becoming very frankly difficult to be around...I had bank problems, computer problems, and all these expenses irritate and annoy me no end, but in the process of having to go to the bank today to see an end to some of these woes I realized how to work my plan for my novel.

I had another one of those nights where I have to counsel myself, feed myself wisdom from within, and get a teriffic hold on myself to decide whether to write or not to write about this time spent in the past.

I have been enjoying visions again, had one last night with Louis XIV showing up in a way that was quite fascinating and had to think on that for a moment. I had just been saying how happy I am to live in this time period instead of the one that Alexander had lived...I had felt his shin pain when I first moved into the apartment and had had to read Plutarch to understand what the heck was going on. I will say this much about regression...it is not fun to relive a pain from the past...but I surely had it for a while and had to join LAFitness to use hot tub to cure.

But seeing Louis XIV pop up and know what kind of lifestyle he led, I was reminded that probably some lifetimes are very enjoyable as his had been. When I have broadband trouble I wonder if some force is annoyed at my writing this stuff...my broadband has disconnected twice.

More on Alexander Novel

The Nanowrimo event will be coming up again. I doubt that I will enter but if I do it would be to continue the story begun last November which must be reworked and rewritten in many places. Essentially, it is a great story and is interesting to me.

I no longer argue with myself about whether I am a case of reincarnation or not, and whether someone as so called mad as Alexander became had really been me. My book will prove whether he did become mad or not as at this point in time I do not believe that he did. But he did become worn and tired, and lost his health in the course of his journey.

What happens is that I go into a form of automatic writing which does somehow or other tap into things that I had not known or considered about him, and for that reason it has been fascinating to let all this come out.

Some of it is suitable for publication but some of it will be censored by myself, as I do not care to share some things that surface from my subconscious to occur in this story. I will see as I go ahead with this book what else I can learn.

I have learned many things just through visualization as for me, images come to me, and sometimes I actually return and relive experiences, and sometimes I only watch and observe Alexander in a situation which does resonate with me.

I have firmly decided that nobody anywhere should be able to know what is another person's mind, heart, and soul but that person himself. I would not want anyone to know when I am having a tantrum, a sense of despair, a sense of joy, or any other aspect of myself from within myself, but only as they are able to see me display it through my facial expression, or body language, or actual discussion of it.

In other words, I am protective of the experiences that I had in these different personalities and do not wish always to share them with the world at large at all.

That means that while I may write this book out as a kind of therapy for myself, I may have reservations about publishing it. I do want part of it published so the editing job will be something to do to make it suitable for public consumption. I am sticking with it nonetheless while I ponder the wisdom of share and tell.

Movies

I spent another weekend catching up on movies that I had not seen when shown at the local cinema. Men Who Stare at Goats, Precious, and Bright Star. I took out two others but have not been able to get into them, Conviction, and The Children of Huang Shi.

I am beginning to have difficulties with this computer and I do not need anyone editing my blogs without my express consent and permission. Telling the plot of a movie on a blog is hardly reason to erase any of it. George Clooney is amusing as a psychic with abnormal powers, and his ability to kill through mental thought is the reason for the title. He kills a goat by simply staring at it. One would think that it preposterous but in fact the military and government is experimenting with such things. I read a book through the Phoenix library system that discussed this totally. So I suspect the movie came from that book.

Voodoo rituals believe in this kind of ability and fear it so maybe the government is taking lessons from Haiti witchcraft. Who knows?

Bright Star is about the love John Keats had for his neighbor Fanny Brawne, and it is a beautiful love story, full of heartache and understanding about the pressure put to bear on John to write. I had no idea that there had been that kind of pressure upon poets in England until I saw this. All I did was study the darn poems, danged if I had to get into the poets heart and soul and head and needs. Keats is most famous for the poem Endymion. I remember that even fifty years after I studied it.

Stupid me, huh? I was not the best when I was a college student...my motivation was gone after a dissolved love affair...I was worse than Keats that way.

Precious is a preposterous story which is both horrid to sit through but fun in its fantasizing and James Thurber means of dreaming that one is something that one is not. The director and editors did a great job on that one. The plot of a fat girl abused by both her mother and father but able to get help and actually climb out of her misery was a bit of a stretch for me. It is difficult enough for average students to make it in this life, but for a girl with real educational difficulties to advance so quickly sounded very too Hollywood. The actress is great, deserved her award as she won a Golden Globe for her role, and she showed why some women would prefer to be lesbians than to have to endure the abuse that she took.

Lesbianism creeps into the story so that is why i say that. For her to have been shoved from the back to land on her face was plainly cruel and unnecessary but apparently black people fear each other more than white people know.

I enjoyed the film since it does give her a happy ending despite being sexually raped, impregnated, mother of 2 and only 16...really totally unbelievable that she can survive at that age with her difficulties.

But so it goes...won't put trailers of films on here. They are all at youtube.

How People Connect

People needing people find each other on discussion groups, in work, and in play, and on facebook and twitter and other groups on the internet. I found a person long ago through a group discussing reincarnation, and tonight watched one of her creative posts to pick up on the word depression.

Depression is a very serious illness. It has attracted a lot of attention, and supposedly, has many varieties of cures. It has a profound effect upon the person who suffers it so that person often cannot function normally as he once did.

If it is due to chemical imbalance it is believed that it can be corrected. I am not certain that anyone really does know what causes it, but it is seriously dehabilitating.

One can try to fight it but usually unless something positive can be done to correct it, the disease itself wins the battle. A person simply slumps, gives in, and lets the dreaded curtain come down until it is finally lifted.

People who have cataracts know that the problem is one of cloudiness. To some extent, depression can be likened to cataracts, but its cloudiness is not so readily and easily removed from the mentality of the person so afflicted.

The key to surviving depression is first recognizing and acknowledging it. Its definition needs to be clarified so that people who are struggling with it can actually admit to it.

closing for now.

Skype

thanks to Janet Davis Bell, a former neighbor of mine from Van Wert, I tried Skype today and probably made life a muddle for me but time will tell. It has been at least 55 years or more since I had seen this gal from VW. We had been close pals at one time but lost contact with one another through time's passing and moving away from one another. I maybe disappointed her but we will see.

Skype is fun. I liked it as you can see both your partner to whom you are talking and yourself. I found that there are a lot of people on facebook who have skype so that if I wanted to see them and talk I probably could. It also taught me a lesson about friends and the future.

Time is going so fast that it won't be long and we will soon be checking out.

While I believe now that some of us do live repeated lifetimes and probably do it with friends and neighbors it is interesting to me how it is all erased from our consciousness so that to find it we have to have not only faith and belief but the will to learn of it. Whether for the good or the bad can only be determined by the person who experiences it. It has done me some good and I learn all the time.

I do have my own private thoughts which are best to be kept to one's self. I just read a poem about the Versailles that intrigued me.

I had been doing a study of gods and goddesses on live journal for some time. The mention of god in this poem made me chuckle a bit. How easily and readily people can jump the gun not knowing whereof they speak.

So it goes.

Deadline Day for Create Space

Last November I began this project of writing a book about the childhood of Alexander the Great. I have actually completed it but I have decided that it needs another rewrite, more revision, and further development before I send it into a publisher. Today is the deadline for Create Space's offer of a proof book that would be free and sent free to me in paperback form. I did go to Create Space last night and filled out some information but had difficulty in communicating to them some necessary information which has put me on a Oh yeah attitude about the entire thing. I don't know if that company, the computer, or what is having problems but a problem does exist, including the popup button to have them call me. I will try my luck on the small computer to see what happens when I use it.

posting

I have been having some difficulty in getting posts published in recent times making me wonder if it is due to google or to my computer. I do not know which it could be to be honest, as I am not smart enough about computers to know.

Computer assessment

I just went to windows to have my computer checked and she found nothing wrong with it. I did another scan just now (the quick one) and am protected. She did suggest that I probably buy a new computer since keys are worn, and am on vista...interesting, huh? Another test now to be sure that I can publish this post.

Computer Woes

This is where I know that I will know if computer is working properly or not. I have made an appointment to have it checked tomorrow so I must run a test here now.

Computer Woes

This is where I know that I will know if computer is working properly or not. I have made an appointment to have it checked tomorrow so I must run a test here now.

Computer Difficulties

Computers are not like cars at all. I will not compare the two. But for the moment, I am taking a chance in opening up this computer and using it. I just updated it through Microsoft so I am hopeful that there will be no problems now.

This has been a very rough week for me all due to computers. We can't live with them and we can't live without them. I have been using my cell phone for the most part but finally I opened up my laptop and am catching up on blogger photo groups that I follow. I love some of those beautiful beauty spots.


I just read a book by Shirley MacLaine which is called I Am Getting Over It, which is about each thing in life chapter by chapter which she is or has gotten over and few things which she cannot get over. It is a very interesting reading experience as Shirley reveals a lot about herself in it.

I also read a book about Louis XIV and his decisions regarding Henrietta, Louise de la VAlliree, and Nicholas Fouquet during four months of his reign. He was actually 23 when he officially became ruler after Cardinal Mazarin died. She said 22 and she had a lot of other errors in the way things were done, but I gave her a glowing review at Louis XIV group despite all those errors. Picky, picky!

I will use a video of Shirley MacLaine to follow this post as I always like to use Youtube videos for connections between post and topic. That is all for now...am dubious about computer still.

Recent Events

Today has been one of those days that nobody ever wants to go through. I received a call from my bank today to ask if I had authorized a purchase for a given amount of money, and I said no that I had not. So then I was told that I need to get a new card since this card had been used for that purpose. I had let my security expire and when the company I had had asked me why I did not want to renew I told them. I had thought that was that. It clearly was not.

I had not ordered this program as I had just let it expire, but somehow or other the company received an order from my computer ordering a form of security that I had already said that I did not want. I turned against the company since I did not believe that they had done me any good at all. Someone later told me that my computer may have ordered it. From my point of view, that is totally ridiculous. Someone has proved to me though that they have information about me gained through access to my computer. Whether this is a hacker, or a virus I do not know. Frankly, I do not know the difference too well anyway.

When I was at the bank, I was unaware of the fact that this order had been given this morning on the day of the 13th. I had let it expire on the date of August 6, and was contacted by the company to explain why I had not subscribed again. I told them bluntly that they had failed me many times in terms of protection. If this is not proof of that, I do not know what is now that I think of it.


When I tried to contact this company another company answered instead, and attempted to sell me their program instead of the one that someone had sent in my name using my bank account.

I do not know exactly what all happened in this case but thank Heaven that the bank in question was on the ball, and did call me to get information from me.

So I spent the afternoon talking to a member of another company who wanted me to use their system for a set amount of money. I said no I could not do it as I do not have that kind of money in my account.

The one good thing that came out of this afternoon's conversation besides learning what their system said about my computer is that I got this blogspot repaired. I am checking now to see if that is still the case.

New improved preview popup

It appears that everything is different here at Blogger since I spoke to a security person who tried to explain to me why it is that I have a problem with a security program. It would appear that someone is trying to tamper with my computer which firmly disgusts me.

security

just getting started

security

Free security is best.

Alexander and Aristotle

I have been working on my novel about Alexander, and so occasionally I go to Pothos.org to read posts that may have popped up since I last visited the site. Today I was in luck, and someone there did something for me that I am so grateful to I could just cry. I had had a return to a cave which at one time I described well on the 'net and as I do not always knows who reads my stuff, I have no idea if that person read it or not. But someone has posted pictures from their trips to Vergina, Greece, and elsewhere so that I browsed through them. This photographer caught the image that I had described once upon a time, and wow! did it ever impress me to see that he had posted it on his website. Now whether this is a male or female I have no idea but the pictures caught my attention as I remember well when I was back there and was reading Greek and speaking Greek as easily as I now read and speak English.

He did confirm for me what I had wanted to know. I am sure now. I had thought it might be the case but was never certain since I had read something different. Now that I can see it, I know positively. Some things are missing today that were there then, but I got the picture and recall the entire thing again just like that. It made my evening complete.

Art Fern with Carol Wayne (2)

Afternoon with Wynn Free

I am wondering at what is wrong with blogger that they cannot simply post something as simple as what I have just written. This business of trying to tell me that there are too many edits does not sit well with me.

Let's see if they can publish this post.

I went to see Wynn Free and his friend Terry Brown this afternoon.

I was amazed to learn how strong and loud my voice was at this session. I was very much like when I was in Sacramento in the Senate side in terms of speech projection.

Once at NBC studios, when in front of the camera, I came out sounding like a woman who used to appear on the Tonight show. She drowned in Mexico years later. Last name was Wayne, but am forgetting first name.

A very kind woman by the name of Cindy brought me home. I stayed for the full session since she offered to give me a ride.

Collection of experiences in recent years

I had thought that I would start a new blog listing and discussing all the unusual psychic and paranormal experiences that I have had here in the state of Arizona and other places.

But I decided that I wanted none of that. While they are interesting, true, and strange, I do not want to develop a blog on them. So I decided instead to simply write and list some of them here at this writing so as to have them in some kind of order and place.

First of all, I have always had dreams that were often clairvoyant in that soon after the dream an event would occur to show the connection between the dream and the event itself. One that always stands out for me is a time when I was a teacher in Azusa and had a dream about one of my tires. I had had my car serviced by the kids in auto shop, and unbeknownst to me, someone had overinflated one of the tires. The dream somehow alerted me to that. I had the tire fixed and learned a lesson from that. Again, even to this date, I continue to have dreams that will alert me to events in either my life or in general to phenomena that affects the entire world at large. I have dreamt of airplanes going down, as I saw a plane turn upside down when later that day it actually happened. I saw the assassination of Anwar Sadat hours before it came about. These were dreams, not visions. I have had visions as well, and they are totally different from a dream. A vision can be like an instant replay on t.v. as I have had them. I have seen many visions, one of which was Flight 800, the TWA liner that went down over Long Island on its way to France. I saw it explode in the air and later when they dragged the body and structure of the plane to the surface it had matched perfectly my illustration of that same event.

I know details about it that nobody else can know since these were shown to me in the spiritual record of the event. Two men on the edge of the cockpit saluted me, and they could only have been there in spirit as most likely their bodies were fastened to their seats when it went down.

So since then, I have had movements of objects occur within the confines of my housing, whether my house or apartment as it is ongoing still to this very afternoonl.

At first I thought it was possibly some mischievous poltergeist, a hungry coyote according to Indian folklore, and strange as it seems, I even thought it could be manipulation through psychic kinetic energy. I soon decided against most of those ideas about what could be doing these things. When Swiss Air went down, I had found two pens which both had the red x or cross at the end of the pen in my underwear drawer. I had felt a strange sensation from them, and then later we learned of the crash of that aircraft.

Some of these incidents are so strange that they appear unbelievable. I actually watched with my own eyes one of my hard boiled eggs disappear in front of me. I had told this to my dad and brother who frankly could not believe it. I was a bit perturbed because I had taken one bite out of that egg and it was perfectly cooked just the way I like it, and I watched it slowly disappear from view...nothing..all that was left was the other egg.

How that could happen. Who is to know?

But do you think it would stop there. No way! My dad and I lived together by ourselves, and there was no way that anyone was going to walk in to my house to play a trick on me. My dad was so old and so not the kind of person to even bother to deign to pull shoddy tricks, so when I found an old pair of my mother's pants, I took my own panties off, and lay them on the floor to go into try her pants on. When I came back to the bathroom to get my own underwear, in that short time, someone had placed a large round ring on top of my panties. I have kept that ring as it is quite heavy and how it got there...who is to know? I do not know, and for sure, my dad would never do such a thing as he was in his own chair in his room way across the other end of the house from mine.

So when I moved into an apartment I certainly did not expect anything unusual to happen, but on Palm Sunday I went to St. Mary's Church in downtown Phoenix and found a statue of Pope John Paul II there with a palm stem crucifix and bouquet in each of his hands. The crucifix fell at my feet and a lady behind me came up and hugged me, saying that John Paul had given it to me so why didn't I take it. I took it home with me and as I walked forward,another stem fell and I picked it up to go to a statue of children in a circle holding hands.

I brought it home. I have a picture of Jesus in a beautiful frame which has a ledge on it, and so I put the crucifix and the stem onto the ledge and went about my business.

I heard my copy machine turn on, and it went off so I went over to see what was happening and saw that the crucifix and the stem which was now curved and shaped like a fish were now sitting on top of my copy machine.

Well, I did go to the priests of the church and told them about it. I took pictures of it and I was quite excited about it as even at CVS where I had copies of my photos made, some strange things happened so that they gave me the pictures free of charge.

So then in the middle of the night at 2:00 in the morning I woke up to go into the living room and found a light shining diagonally from the picture of Jesus, and I stared at it, trying to figure why a light was there, as there is no outside source for this light, and what it was doing on my wall. It was huge, reminded me of clouds in a way, or of a clipper ship. I went to bed, fell asleep. Next night, when I went out the room was dark as normal and so I went to bed again. Following night, I go out at 4:00 in the morning and the light is back,this time in a square shape, and as bright as the first time I saw it in the cloud type shape. One cannot take pictures of light but I did take a picture of the Jesus portrait and there is a sliver of light which comes out at his side.

There is light there.

So I had a few uneventful things happen at the other apartment, mostly involving earrings on the floor, but I did not take too much notice except to notice that things often came up missing somehow.

Some I have never found.

So when I moved to this apartment, I did not think anything of it until the incident with the utility box happened, and I had trouble finding a debit card I had dropped.

Earlier, a pet pad had moved from the bedroom into the living room, and because of all the other above incidents, I realized oh no, here we go again. I knew that some invisible force did it. How many times had it not done it before, so why worry?

Movements frankly do not bother me much, but disappearances do. I am chronic because of all these things to always know right where I put things so I know where they should be.

So my cat went into a frenzy staring at something, and I could see an outline that looked like a physical being but it was invisible to the naked eye. I believe that it is the same shape as the Good Shepherd bookmark card that I found on my table in the upper right hand corner. How it got there is more than I know too. It since has disappeared.

I kept getting the thought it is Jesus. So I decided all right it is Jesus.

Well, the next thing I know I wake up one morning to go to the toilet and there is this grainy stuff all over the entire lid of the toilet and I grumbled because I had to clean it off before I could sit down, and so had to pick it up without getting it into the basin. I did think it was cat litter at first. Upon later investigation, I learned that it could not be cat litter as my litter is gray and this stuff was clearly blue.

It happened twice. Two or three days later and I forget which now, I went back, and there it is again, and I realized then that the cat could not have done. This stuff is coming out of thin air, and nothing is on the lid of the tank lid, and nothing is on the litter box lid, just on the toilet lid.

I cleaned it all off without taking a picture but realizing that the cat did not do it, and for that matter, would have wiped it off had he gone near it. He did not go near it, and he usually plays in the basin as he likes to see the water.

Phoenix had two dust storms about this time and on the second one, I suddenly realized that there was a connection. I am acutally getting the feeling it is dust to dust at this point, but water from the faucet made me think of the school play The Miracle Worker and when I thought it, the drip stopped and the leaking was ended. Then Glendale got rain in the second dust storm, and I thought hmmm. there is a connection there.

But these little grains would now show up behind the lid, the area between the lid and the tank. I left them there instead of cleaning them up. They moved then to the tub where one morning I saw a lot of them around the faucet area and another group around the center of the tub, and there I saw that when water hit them they turned into little blue snowflake type appearance. Very pretty actually.

That night I got one of my nosebleeds, and this time it was long and bad, and I had a dickens of a time getting it to stop. I looked at the spatters of blood in the sink and then at the tub and thought blueblood and just like that as with the faucet and miracleworker the bleeding stopped.

Talk about paying through the nose.

Well, I wanted to print off my copies of my novel on Alexander so I bought a copy machine yesterday at Target. Today, I looked down and on top of it was another picture of Jesus, this time in the form of the Sacred Heart.

What, again?

I took a picture of it, decided that while I am not afraid of Jesus, I guess maybe I should take this much more seriously than I had thought previously. Jesus is being very persistent here, and it is not just to protect me, or to give me comfort, but he is appearing more and more often...Do you think I know what all this means. At first, I was thinking it must mean that he is coming soon as in the second coming of Jesus.

For me, the point is that God can make something out of nothing,that something can appear out of thin air, and that things can disappear in thin air...I have been alerted to that ever since that disappearing egg.

As Jesus says, store your treasures in Heaven for nothing of the earth is of any value anyway.

One does not need to take life too seriously but at the same time, one should not ignore or ridicule the signs that are evident to prove the fact of the power of God.


I have, because of my own self discovered knowledge, realized that I have spiritual powers. I have done things that are truly unbelievable but I do not admit them to any but myself. I often say that it is the power of God within me.

Believe me, all that I am saying is that Jesus is with us here and now. Jesus is a power that is truly awesome. Love is Heaven, but there is more to life than just a state of being in "love". There is the actual and real fact of here now, gone now.

Don't doubt it. It is happening.

Sacred Heart of Jesus

This is the picture of Jesus that appeared today (out of the blue) on top of my copy machine. I had taken some books off the shelf to find a recipe for bread pudding but I do not keep religious photos in cookbooks.

A box of lithium batteries appears to have fallen beside the copy machine box.

I had just purchased a new copy machine. Not sure that I am going to install the software now.

I am believing that Jesus is being persistent here now. This is the second time that something pertaining to Jesus has appeared on top of the copy machine, though not the same machine, same make.

I did go to the bible to read something in Mark but instead found Acts.Chapter 10, a story about Cornelius and Peter.

Mark 6, verse 37 through 42 is on the story of the fish and loaves.

A novena is on the back of the Sacred Heart pamphlet leaf, and nine days from today is the 14th.

I truly believe in the mystery of the loaves of bread and fish as I have witnessed the mysteries in my bathroom of blue and white flecks of granuals, which when I saw the connection to blueblood made my nose bleed stop bleeding. I relate the bloody nose to Louis XIV in a statue that is on the back of the Splendours of Versailles exhibition held in Jackson, Mississippi years ago. Louis has a red mark in one nostril, and my nose has always bled in one nostril.

Blueblood is a term designating royal family. My bleeding stopped when I connected the blue specks to blueblood. I thought that a miracle.

All this will sound strange to anyone who does not understand the mysteries of the faith.

But it is all true.

An Act of Love will tip the balance is a statement with a bird sitting on a bough which I had ordered years ago in 1973 from a convent in Indiana.

Anagrams of ACT is CAT, and my cat did an act of love today sitting on top of my Christmas plate in the shelf that he likes to climb into .

All I can say is I welcome Jesus into my life and my home and I believe in His Mysteries. I am hoping that others will do likewise.

TheNewColossus

Rain

Tonight I took my cat out onto the patio and learned that we had had rain this evening. I sat down in a soggy, wet cushion and realized that we had a downpour. I missed it totally but had heard a loud noise but didn't realize it must have been a thunderclap.

I am having a rough time of it today. First Wednesday in the month is ten percent off for seniors so I had to go to the grocers to get some groceries. I love grapefruit juice and orange juice so I bought two half gallons of each, and some meat at reduced prices, and some half and half and breads to make a bread pudding.

Then I checked my bank balance and hit the roof for there is a false bank balance which means that I have to go to the bank tomorrow to find out what is wrong here. I am furious about it. I get so sick and tired of bank balances being wrong.

I have noticed this twice now and this one is large enough for me to get really angry over. I am meticulous to a penny.

Am cutting this short as I have been online too long but checking out printers.

Le Chateau de Versailles

Film about Muslim who rescues robber

Google is a pain in the fanny with their conflicting edits.

I am posting this video which I found at Youtube with the question about the reality of the film. Did this really happen? Was it staged? I am not sure if it is for real or a piece of propaganda to convert the starving, and homeless into Muslims.

After you see it, if you do, do you think it for real or staged?

To all Who Hate muslims Must Watch

Jardins Château de Versailles on Twitpic

Jardins Château de Versailles on Twitpic

Jean-Baptiste LULLY - Ballet des Plaisirs (1655)

Jean-Baptiste LULLY - Ballet des Plaisirs (1655)

Le Carnaval de Versailles

Jean-Baptiste LULLY - Ballet de Xerxès (1660)

Emergency First Aid : How to Stop a Nosebleed

Follow up to post about Strange happenings in my apartment

I woke up in the middle of the night suffering one of my infrequent nosebleeds at 3:00 in the morning. This was one of the so called "bad" ones which means it lasts more than just a few minutes. It lasted interminably long, and always reminds me how much I am grateful for having learned of the story of Genghis Khan. Believe it or not, sometimes knowing even a little about history can help in the present lifetime.

I used a ton of tissue in trying to stop this flowing blood, and while looking at the sink where I stood to watch the blood splash speckles on the inside of the basin, all of a sudden I realized something. I must digress at this point.

The blue speckles had come back earlier that day in my bathtub. There were a lot of them this time in two different locations and as it was again early enough that I did not want to do anything but clean the tub out, I did not take photos or do anything but clean them out with a paper towel. I also thought what good do the photos do anyway, because I had just read a book about putting unknown substances under a microscope, and as I do not have a microscope, do not know any biologists who does, I decided just simply to let it all pass. I then cleaned up the litter that was on the floor and immediately saw the difference between the two substances. There is no way that one could take the blue matter for the litter after I looked at the two closely.

In addition to that, instead of one roll of toilet paper, two rolls had been moved this time. That made me think about the kind of t.p. I use which is charmin soft.

The first time the paper was moved it was not the charmin but a different type, cheap, from a local grocer and some of it is still there.

Gotta remember all these details now because later I will surely forget a lot of this.

Anyway, I am trying everything to get my bloodflow to stop, including pinching my nose, thinking everything under the sun, and then seeing the speckles of blood was reminded of the blue stuff in the tub which when hit by water enlarge and spread like blue snowflakes. I thought oh, what if it is blood, blue blood. The bleeding stopped. It has been stopped ever since. The efficacy of that thought alone stopped it.

I decided it is Jesus, and this is the manifestation of God in my home, this time in the form of blue flecks instead of white light as when it appeared in my apartment at the previous place. I contemplated that all night, did not get back to sleep, but did rest a bit, and then later in the morning finally caught three hours more of needed sleep. A part of my contemplation about why this is Jesus is that Jesus said that the bread and wine is his body and his blood. Anything that is created from God is a fleck of God...to comprehend this one must realize that the dogma of Jesus is that God appeared in the flesh so that he could teach man. In essence, God can appear in any form to reach man. Because of the instant stop of bloodflow, I believe firmly that the recognition of the specks as blood caused the hemmorhaging to end.

I realize that most people do not believe in miracles truly but I not only believe I know that they happen. To me, the appearance of the blue flecks and sometimes white is a miracle. I believe that it is Jesus who is protecting me and I have a responsibility to tell my story.

I am bit urgent in my wish that everyone would turn to Jesus to find peace of mind, hope, and salvation. But I thought of what my dad would say, and I admit that the parable of the seed came to my mind. The seed can only grow in good soil, soil that is receptive. One can only pray for those who do not believe that they may lose their hardheadedness and hardheartedness somehow.

Whether anyone who reads this believes it or not, it is all true. God bless, and blessed are those who believe but have not seen.

"Siwa Oasis and Marsa Matrouh on Bike" Samira_steve's photos around Siwa...

July 31

I just reread the entire 50,000 word plus work that I did for the NANOWRIMO group last November, and as I have been working on developing it I had to reread it to remember what I had done.

My theory is that the gods and goddesses in whom the Greeks believed so much at that time are the real reason that Alexander behaves and succeeds as he does. I do not believe that most people even today understand well why it is that the gods and goddesses of that kind had so much power, but when you study the literature of the day you see the influence that they had on the various personalities of the times.

So that is my running and ongoing theme in the novel that I wrote, and in fact, I am only imitating Homer to some extent. But before one can imitate, one must know his works. I have read the Iliad several times over, and while it is a fascinating literary work it is through Alexander and his friends that I criticize it.

So after rereading my own work last November, I now have to rewrite the entire novel this August so that I can have it published in September. Much of it is fine as is, and that part of it is usually the creative work that I simply made up instead of all the historical narrative which I paraphrased. That has to be totally redone and cleaned up and rewritten to appear coherent and smoothflowing. After rereading my earlier work multiple times now, and several other historical pieces, I finally have the entire picture in mind of how this novel can and should be written.

In truth, does the world need another book on Alexander? He is after all, dead and buried for all it is worth, and all that may be left of him besides simply those artifacts that people think are of value, coins, portraits, busts, etc. documents, stories, true/false, could be a soul remnant of some kind...Soul is how I got involved in this, and while I do not try to explain why it is that I had such a wonderful time exploring his life through his spiritual being, I did, and I am thus involved in writing this book so that young people can discover a side of him that few will ever realize or know besides myself.

Alexander is recognized today simply because he accomplished exceptionally extraordinary feats at a very young age. To understand why he had the power to do that requires an understanding of the environment of his day in which the people truly believed in the gods and goddesses who controlled and manipulated their lives.

Some few young people today are given responsibilities unique for their age, but so far in human history, none have ever accomplished all that Alexander did in a day and age unknown for rapid mass communication. Stories circulated then, but not in the minute of a telegraph message, a telephone call, a television image, or an internet communication. More than likely, the lack of hi tech enabled his success instead of impeding it.

By the power of Zeus Ammon, I will finish this task by August 31, hopefully.