The Apple Verdict

I cannot believe the nerve of Apple, and the verdict against Samsung.  It is an absurd thing to think that a jury foreman was able to so convince his fellow jurors to take the stand that they did about this problem that exists between Apple and Samsung.  It has really made me angry to think that the courts could possibly create a monopoly in smartphones and other computer devices as it appears that they have done. I am hoping that the Judge has a backbone and will not allow this verdict to stand as it is at present.  The very idea that companies cannot compete with one another but are allowed to ban another company is as criminal as it gets.  I say shame on Apple. Shame on the jury!   Shame on an attempt to create a monopoly for the very, very rich!  Apple is already so obvious in its bad behaviour of using low paid Chinese labor to make huge oversized profits for its company and its CEO's that it more than makes Californians and Americans look UGLY!

Politics is all downhill

I read about the Democrats who are having the Muslims give prayers at the Democratic convention.  It appears that the Democrats are bending over backwards to give opportunities to the Islamic group to express their anti American feelings.  I think that this is a serious mistake which I am hoping does mean that sane Americans will vote to get rid of Barack Obama handily and easily. I clearly cannot support Barack Obama in any way, but most of all for his outrageous health program. I won't watch either parties conventions but I am definitely opposed to Barack Obama and his Islamic friends.

I think that the Democrats add insult to injury everytime that they turn around, and this latest insult is one which should bring about the demise of Barack Obama and his hold on the ignorant and the stupid.

Alexander at age 4

Writing Attempt #6

 As Alexander was growing up, his father, Philip, was developing and turning Macedonia into an important nation.  He developed his army so that it was able to secure its borders, defeat its enemies, and through mining gold from its mountains, turn Macedonia into a prosperous and self sufficient country.  Since Philip now had a successor to the thorne, he could let loose his own raw aspirations for power and success.

The small boy trotted after his father whenever he could, and watched him closely both in the training of his army, and of the execution of his empire.  Alexander listened to everyone around him, learning to know each and every person who served at the court.  They caressed him whenever he was close enough for them to touch him, and he would sit and chat with whoever it was that he encountered when he chose to do so.  The court members loved the small blonde haired boy who asked questions so pertinently.

To the cook, he would inquire, "Where did you get that bird?  How did you capture it?  Why are you taking the feathers off?  How do you do that? Show me."

And the cook would take the great bird, singe its feathers, and show Alexander how to pluck the feathers from the skin.  Lymachus, the cook, would even let Alexander chop the head off at times.   Alexander loved to watch the hen or cock then circle round and round until it finally dropped to the ground.  "Why does it do that?" he asked.   The cook responded, "The heart continues to beat even though the brain is gone.   When the heart beat stops, the bird falls to the ground and stops."

Then the cook would open the bird careully, and let Alexander examine the internals. "See, there is the heart." Lymachus said, and Alexander peered to look and examine the heart. "It is small, isn't it?"
He picked it up, rolled it around in his hand, and handed it to Alexander to hold.

"Yes," answered Alexander. "Does my heart look like that?

"Well, similar to it, but your heart is much bigger than this is," answered Lymachus.
The  cook then removed the heart, the liver, and the gizzards, and threw them into a stew pot where he added broth to simmer.  Then he placed the whole bird on a skewer which he fitted onto a turning spit over an open fire.  The bird turned slowly so that juices dripped into the fire.

"Which part of the bird do you like best?" asked Lymachus. 

"All of it." answered Alexander.

When he wandered into the garden area, he would encounter the head gardener who stopped to greet the small boy.  "Why, Alexander, what brings you out here today?" he asked.  "What brings me this great honor?"

"Mama says that I must learn all the varieties of things that grow in the garden," he answered swiftly, kicking a piece of dirt.

"Well, my dear, come with me, and I will show you."  The gardener strode off quickly as Alexander tried to follow him as fast as he could.

"Hey, slow down, I am way behind you," he forcefully called out, but the gardener simply walked ahead, headed towards the kitchen vegetable garden.

Finally, he waited for Alexander to catch up with him, and he rested for awhile, taking a small hoe, prodding the dirt around a cabbage that was growing in its patch.

"Well, Alexander,what is it that you want to learn from me.  If I can help you at all, I will."

Arrhideus was a tall man, with narrow shoulders, long waist, and the biggest hands that Alexander had ever seen.  He was dressed casually, wearing only a loose garment so that he could be free to dig in the ground when it was necessary.

His hands were gnarled and wrinkled, having been in the sun for so many hours daily.  He picked up a turnip head, and tossed it to Alexander to hold.  "This is a root vegatable. It means that it comes from the ground.  Do you like or eat turnips, my boy?" he asked.  "A pity if you don't," he added.

"I don't know." responded the child.  "I eat vegetables whenever they are given to me.  I don't know if I like this one or not.  How do you prepare it?"

"You are sure a smart one, Alexander.  How old are you now?" The gardener asked in return.  "You talk like a grown up to me."

"I am four years old now.  I am almost ready to do military training with my papa." he answered.

"Oh no, you cannot be," returned the gardener. " You have a lot of time for that. Have fun while you can now while you are still young."

"Well, Mama is making me learn basics of the court now so that I am able to perform any task she says, " said Alexander. " I will even be able to plant and grow crops if necessary. I  have to learn how to be able to spot the difference between the good and the bad vegetables and fruits that grow in the countryside. Some may look pretty, or smell pretty, but many are poisonous.  So I have to begin learning now which are which."

"I am so shocked at how well you speak for a four year old boy," answered the gardener. "I have not talked to you until this day."

He scratched his head in puzzlement and thought to himself that Alexander must be a child prodigy.  He muttered to himself, "I did not know that the young Alexander was so advanced for his age.  I should pay more attention to all the gossip that the cooks tell in the kitchen."

"When do you think that you would need to know how to recognize the difference between a good or bad fruit?  A good mushroom or a poisonous one?  Wouldn't you as a prince let your gardener do that for you?" he asked wonderingly.

"Oh, when I go out on the field and am in the forests, I will need to know this. It is to survive without court members there to help me.  So I must learn it now so that I won't forget it."  Alexander answered.

"Well, then, by all means, let me teach you.  Come with me," and Arrhideus reached down to take Alexander's hand as he led him through the gardens, showing him every fruit and vegetable that grew there.

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Alexander as a child

 Preface: these are first drafts written some time ago.  I have not taken to rewriting any of these yet.
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Writing attempt #4.

Olympias was a devotee of the cult of Dionysus.  When she attended the mysterious rites, she joined in the ceremonies through her own feverish dancing, whirling and twirling.  There was a kind of madness to the dance that followed drinking huge drafts of wine.  Both at the rituals and in her apartment, Olympias handled snakes which were not only ceremonial, but linked to the belief in the divine origin. 

Young Alexander often accompanied her to the altars where she made sacrifices and pledged her devotion to Dionysus.  He watched her intently as she carefully lit a fire, danced around it, sang her song of love and duty, and then bowed to her great god, kneeling on the ground, bemoaning all her sins and sorrows, and asking for divine guidance for her child.

When she was finished she returned her attention to the child, and pulled him close to her.  "Alexander, my son, " she said to him, " someday you too will make sacrifices to the gods, and you will obey and ask for their guidance and their help.  Watch Mama now.  See how I do it, and then when it is your turn,  you will do it in the same way. Understand?"

"Yes, Mama, I understand," Alexander would thoughtfully reply.  "I will do it myself."

Although Alexander was only three years old, he had already startled his parents with his quickness in learning all that they had been teaching him.  Because he had been imitating the soldiers, Alexander demanded that he be given a uniform of his own, a shield, and a spear too.

"Papa, I need my own uniform. I want my own shield and spear," he had cried out to Philip when Philip observed him practicing his lessons. 

"Why, Son,  there will be time for that," Philip answered. "Next year I will suit you up.  Right now, you are growing so fast that I think you should wait."

"No, Papa, I  want to wear my own suit of armor now . I want to be a soldier like you."
Alexander responded tartly.

Philip touched his jaw with his hand as he rubbed it thoughtfully. "Hmmmm."  He bent his head looking down at his child.  "Well, I may do that for you, but you will outgrow it fast." Philip surrendered to the boy's pleas.

Philip thought to himself that maybe all those omens and forecasts may have had some merit after all.

"I will help you, my child." he said, and quickly gathered the child up into his massive arms and pitched him high into the air.  Alexander squealed happily,  "I will be a soldier too."

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Writing attempt #5

Alexander, at three years old, was finally wearing his own custom made cuirass, greaves, and carried his own shield and sword. He had grown into a young lion cub.  His thick golden curly locks floated about his head and shoulders.  He was a strong, sturdy boy with muscles developing in his arms and legs. He played in the grassy arena where special gymanastics were taught, and he tumbled and rolled with the other children in his age who were also being specially trained for their future warrior years.  Alexander was naturally set apart from the other boys.  He was treated a bit differently from the others since stress was made that he would be the leader of the group.  Because he was the Prince, his regime was far more demanding than the other boys who practiced in the gymnasium, in the grassy arena, or in the military compounds. 

At the age of three he was learning to read and write the Greek alphabet.  His mother would sing songs to him, composed of alpha, beta, gamma, delta...He learned to make the letters so that he could assemble them together and make a word out of them.  He learned quickly that letters combined together made word forms.  He amazed even his mother with his early perception of the way letters became words, and words together made sentences.  Though only three, he was learning at the rate of a child of 6 or 7. Olympias realized that Alexander was already a challenge for her to teach.

At the stables, he would follow each and every aspect of the grooming and preparation of the horses.  He watched as a man would brush the horse's mane, inspect his hooves, and open the mouth to check for bad teeth or abcessed gums.  Alexander's interest was such that he would often rub his own tiny fingers into the horse's gums and gently relieve the horse of any object that could be stuck in his teeth.  He liked to feed the horses apples and grains.   He would rub their legs kindly and gently so that the horses came to love and adore his presence there.

He whispered to his favorite bay horse who he favored, "I am taking good care of you now so that someday you will take care of me."  The horse swished its tail up and down, happily, acknowledging that he would care for Alexander when he was on his back.  Alexander studied the horses as they walked so that he intuitively knew which horse was feeling good on a given day  or which was feeling tired, ill, or hurt.

When he was on the military training ground, Alexander would march alongside the soldiers who were practicing inside the field.  He stayed outside the fenced area, but followed along side, imitating their movements as they drilled.  He committed to memory every movement, every turn, while his guardian tutor watched him carefully.  Little by little, day by day, Alexander was becoming a disciplined warrior.

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Continuation of early childhood

Writing attempt part 2
Philip is the King of Macedon, a strong and lusty man, who had married Olympias after meeting her at a special rites festival.  She had attracted him with her long auburn hair, her aggressive and boisterous dance, and her candid appraoch to him.   Although they had met years earlier, she had been quite young then, so that Philip had not approached her.  But seeing her again he became spellbound watching her.  She danced gracefully, seductively, in the grassy area where the rite had just been performed.  She was one of the few who were selected to enchant and entertain the followers in a special dance performance attuned to the sweet, soft music of the lyre and flutes that floated through the air.  She seemed like an angelic spirit, a goddess of extraordinary powers as she lifted her legs into the air, spinning around and around, dipping and falling, rising and jumping into the air.  Her long red hair spun round and round, then gradually fell into a luxurious veil of silky curls which reached to her waist.

He fell in love with her at once.  he was so smitten that he called to her to come to his side.  She watched him through narrrow eyes as she took in his long, hard muscular body, the dark, curly hair, the firmly set jaw, the penetrating eyes.  He intrigued her so she glided up to him where she rested her head on his shoulder.  She leaned into him sensuously so that the thrill of her touch caused him to catch his breath.  He pulled her tightly to him.

"You will be mine." he whispered roughly.  He drew her close to his chest as he then pressed his lips upon hers.  She surrendered to his passion.  She drew away, looked up at him, and whispered, "Yes, my Lord. I am yours now."
Philip remembered all this as he studied his young son. He had not know that as a member of the cult group that Olympias would instill all that knowledge into their son, but he could see that Alexander was becoming closer and closer to his mother all the while he was in her care.

"Olympias, I must find a man who will be able to take Alexander to the training fields, to the stables, and to the gymnastic center so that he can learn to know the basics now while he is still young." he had told her.  He realized that Alexander was stretching to learn all that he could in the apartments of the court so it was not too soon to introduce him to the military establishments.
Because his father had insisted, Alexander then soon came to learn the smells, the sounds, and the feel of the stables  and the military training grounds.

He would toddle out to the stables with his special nurse to feed the horses. He loved the fresh scent of the feed barrels, the oats, rye, and barley, the hay and the straw.  He would run his fingers through the barrels to feel the hay or the oats. He picked up a few oats in his hand, and would hold his tiny hand up to the horse to feel its sticky, raspy tongue lick his hand.  He laughed with glee at the horses's warm tongue touching his hand, and so would quickly run back to the feed, grabbing another handful to run back to feed the horse.  Thus, he grew happily, making friends wih the stable hands and the horses.

He had no fear of the horses who would lean down to his height so that he could pat their nose, or their forehead, or mane.  He wanted to ride on the horse's back but Philip gently reproved him, and said, "No, Not yet!  Soon you will be able to ride."

Writing attempt 3. First birthday.

Alexander was exactly one year old in October that year.  Olympias had prepared a very special celebraton so that every member of the court and the countryside could come to see the young Prince. The grand courtyard with its beautiful gardens had been filled with banquet tables laden with specialties of the native land.  Dates, olives, figs, apples, pears, pasties sweets, breads, huge pitchers of wine, tinted water, slabs of mutton roasted rare, morsels of mushrooms from the forests, tiny sugar dusted flowers, and delicacies were spread across the tables.

Musicians played haunting melodies that filled the air, actors performed in dramas on the stage, and gymnasts performed acrobats,whirling and bounding in the air.  The festival was filled to capacity as each and every member came to pay their respects to the young Prince, his father, the King, and Olympias, the Queen.

"Olympias, you look wonderful this day!" Cleopatra exclaimed when she greeted her.  Olympias wore an azure blue colored wrap which gave depth to her blue green eyes ,and her auburn hair.  She wore her hair pinned with flowers and jewels in a coil so that  a long strand fell down her back.

Olympias truly looked like a goddess herself.  She had fair alabaster skin, auburn hair, and deep blue-green eyes which dominated her face.  Her long slender nose, full, pouty mouth, and naturally clear complxion created an impression of an ancient goddess.  That coupled with her enthusiasm, her rabid attention to details, listening well to everyone who talked with her gave others the impression of a true queen.

In the meantime, Alexander remained the center of attention as everyone had to greet the young boy ,play with him, take him for a ride on a pony, and then return to the banquet to feast.

Philip greeted everyone who came to join the festivities. He remembered the day well that Alexander had been born.  On that day, he had learned that his horse had won a chariot race, and that Parmenio, one of his generals, had won a battle in Thrace.  Oddly enough, the temple of Artemis had burned to the ground which made it appear that these were omens that bode well for him, his kingdom, and his son.

He turned to see a friend of his from Thebes coming to pay his respects. "Ah, Philip," Lysander said as he approached him. "Here it is,  a year that your young lion son has been born.  Do you recall the dream that you told me about him?"

"Why, yes, I have not forgotten," Philip responded. "Do you remember it, or do you want me to tell it again?"

"Oh, yes, I do recall it.  But please do tell me it once more.  I would enjoy hearing it again," he replied.

"How strange it is when I think of it now.  He does have the look of a young lion cub, don't you think? Philip answered.

"Yes, perhaps.  Maybe in time he will become the lion king that you think that he will be."  Lysander returned.

"As I recall, I saw sealing wax on my wife's womb.  There was an image of  a lion there. Some told me that it meant that a son would be born who would rule the world, be my pride." Philip said.  "  The great seal of the King would be born. I take it to mean that now.
"Then it is up to you to prepare the way for him," retorted Lysander.  "You are responsible for his becoming the great king."

"So you think I can do that?" questioned Philip.

"Absolutely. No better student of Epaminondas than you, is there?  I will expect great things from Alexander." he added. " You know that we will all be watching him closely.  And Philip..."

"Yes?" Philip asked.

"You know that the Persians will be watching advisedly too, don't you?" he continued.

"I hear you, dear friend,"  answered Philip. " He is only one today.  Look at how long it has taken me to build my army.  I will keep in mind what you have said."  With that, he took Lysander to the banquet tables.

Olympias stood and watched her husband, carefully noting everything that young Alexander did as well.  She was more determined than her husband for Alexander to achieve her dream for him.  Like Philip, she too remembered the dream that she had had at Alexander's birth. She had dreamed that a thunderbolt had entered her womb so that fire had gushed out spreading far and wide.   She recalled the thunderbolt, not realizing that it had been Father Zeus implanting his breath and his life into the young prince so that he was son of Zeus.

She looked at Alexander steadily, wondering at what great feats would be his to know.  She realized that he mus be taught with great care.
"Thank you, Zeus, for this day," she again prayed silently.  She quickly hastened to the banquet table to join Philip and his friends.

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First Four Writing Attempts for my Novel

Because these are all extemporaneous written pieces, I am going to share these on this blogspot.  I have already placed three of the conversations of the gods here as eventually after all is written in first draft form I will determine how to weave these conversations in and out of the story.

I am sharing these for a variety of reasons, none of which I will explain now.  I call them writing attempts.  So writing attempt I is first.

Olympias held the crying child in her arms, and gazed at his tiny cherubic face, rocking him to sleep.  She sang a song quietly as he nestled deeper into her arms.

She sang. "Oh, Little son of Zeus, child of mine, golden haired wonder, you are with me now. Little Son of Zeus."

"I will name you for your grandfather, Alexandros.  She began to chant: You are my darling angel, you have come to me now.  Oh, Little son of Zeus, child of mine. How I love thee, Wondrous joy of my life."

She held the babe in her arms, leaned back agains the soft pillow, prayed to herself, and to her deity.  "Oh dear wondrous Creator, bless my child, protect him, take him into your care, and le me live through his greatness, his mystery, his wonder, his deeds. Thank you for bringing this joy to my life, and may he live to be a blessing for me and my countrymen.

Gently, she carried the babe to a waiting cradle where she lay him down to sleep.  She could hardly pull herself away from the babe that lay soundly asleep, a small half smile curving his mouth upward.  "I love thee, dear child, " she murmured again.

She then softly walked to her own chamber, where she lay down upon the warmth of her own bed and fell soundly to sleep.

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Following will be two versions of Alexander at a young age. 

A year later, Alexander celebrated his first birthday with his mother, father, and his nurse Lanike whose milk had fed him throughout his first months.  He clung to her hand as he walked to the gardens where a banquet and festival had been prepared for the young prince and his guests, members of the court and countryside.  Nearly everyone had been invited, from far and wide, to attend this first birthday celebration.

Philip came over to Lanike,,and said to her," Thank you, Governess, I shall take him from here to the special table that we have prepared just for him."  With that he threw young Alexander high into the air, where he squealed happily and loudly, crying out, "Papa!" so everyone could hear.  Philip laughed heartily, and announced, "Here we have the young birthday child!  Alexander, our future, is here at last!"

Everyone cheered loudly  in total merriment at seeing the first sight of Alexander at the age of One.
\
"Here's to Alexander," a voice cried out. "Hail Alexander!" another followed. Everyone broke in to loud praise of Alexander, all shouting, " Yeah! Alexander!"

Alexander had truly amazed his mother and proud father with his robust health, his innate curiosity, as he quickly grew and became a strong and sturdy infant.  He had aroused the envy of everyone in the court when at six months he had stopped crawling, began to stand on his sturdy legs, and tried to walk.  At nine months, he walked on his own.  He studied everything that he could see, touch, and find in his room.

His mother had prepared a very special room for young Alexander. She had fitted it with a cradle that was made of cypress wood, curved wooden slats to enable it to rock to and fro, filled it with soft ccushions ujpon which his head could rest, and ribbons, ornaments, and charms.  A dozen candles were lit day and night, sending out a fragrance that would both calm and soothe the babe whenever he was placed in the cradle to sleep or rest.

Small chairs were set about the room, busts and statues of Zeus, Apollo, Poseidon, dionysus, Hera, and Athena, and Aphrodite adorned the entryway into the room. The room was  kept airy and light.

Alexander had developed quickly so that by the time he reached his first birthday, he had already conquered not only his mother and father, but also every member of the court.  His golden curly locks fell gently around his shoulders.  Though his father Philip was a dark haired man with a curly beard and curly hair, and his mother was fair skinned, who hair was thick and long, auburn colored, Alexander tended to favor his mother with his light complexion and golden locks.

Olympias daydreamed all the time about her beautiful son.  Her dreams for him were magnificent.  She would imagine that he would be endowed with a great talent, that he would be a great leader amongst men.  Her hopes and dreams were such that she would often speak of them to him.  Whispering in his ear, she cooed, " You, my son, are the son of Zeus, the highest god in the Heavens. You will achieve much. You will overcome every obstacle in your path.   Zeus himself will guide you."

Tiny Alexander would smile and laugh at his mother, reaching up with his tiny hand to touch her mouth, and say," Mama!"  This made Olympias laugh out loud. "Oh, my darling, you are so wonderful to me." she cried, as she squeezed his leg and kissed his stomach. "My little Zeus!", she laughed aloud.

Later, when Philip entered the room to see his son, he would pick him up and throw him high into the air.  Alexander squealed with glee. His father's massive hands were far stronger than those of his mother.  "Papa!", he cried out.  "Again!"  Philip would throw him even higher, at which Alexander would squeal louder and louder. "More!" he shouted, and laughing. Philip cradled him into his arms when he caught him. "You love thrills, don't you?" he exclaimed.  Alexander laughed happily as his father, giving him a nod with his head.

Philip had been as proud of Alexander as Olympias had been. He had yearned for a son who would follow in his path for so long that when he finally appeared he was overwrought with joy and wonder at the blessing that the gods had bestowed upon him.

He confided to Olympias. "I saw Apollo who has told me that great things are in store for Alexander.  We have a special son, dear wife.!"

"Yes, Philip, I believe you," she returned, smiling softly.

Dark Matter

This movie made me think of all my Chinese friends who I had met here in Phoenix years ago and who moved to Southern California shortly after I did.  There are situations in the film which are intended for me to realize this, but on the surface of it until you know enough about it, one would never realize it at all. 

Without spoiling this movie for anyone who has not seen it, I will say that I do believe that even though based upon a true story which happened at the University of Iowa, one can see the connection to the events in the Aurora, Colorado incident at the midnight showing of Dark Knight Rises.

While Meryl Streep appears in the movie as a very rich woman who assists and helps the young Chinese foreign students, her role is minimal in comparison to that of Liu Ye, the actor who portrays the brilliant young scientist with a future were he more amenable to the needs of the foolish advisor.


Cosmology is the course of study in which we are teased with the possibility of actually learning the origins of the universe as this young man's mind seems quite capable of solving this ancient problem.  The problem of Creator God is discussed in an interesting way but we have a professor whose vanity and intellect is threatened by this young man so that the student fails to please his adviser when he prefers to do his thing his way rather than the professor's way.

It is a good movie.  It reached me in many ways, but I will keep this review brief instead of lengthy. I just posted a previous post which is fairly succinct!  If you get the chance, see the movie. It made me think of my friend Ruth and her family!

Dark Matter (movie)

Tragedy occurs all the time in America and elsewhere in the world. Once in  a while, a movie will be made on the basis of a tragedy such as in this case, Dark Matter, is in fact, based upon a situation at the University of Iowa where a Chinese foreign exchange student turned against his colleagues and faculty. 

In this film,  a young brilliant scientist arrives in America to live with other Chinese men while he attends the local university to receive an extensive education.  As he becomes assimilated into American culture, he meets with a dynamic winning personality who is a major philanthropist and contributor to the university.  Meryl Streep portrays the kindly very rich wife of an industrial businessman whose main interest is in helping the young students and acquiring a knowledge of the Chinese culture and language.  She is the bait to watch the film to be frank.

The young man naively hopes to win his doctorate on his  belief in his own theories instead of sucking up to his adviser, so that he alienates the adviser whose own insecurities cause him to become hostile and jealous of his young student.  As a result, the person who succeeds in the story is the person who is willing to suck up and kiss ass.

Lawrence, who has changed his name so that Americans will be able to handle his name better, has become the successful student who wins the prize and the money while our other brilliant student who we have come to like and know so well ends up on the wrong end of the stick, alienating the professor advisor.  We hate the professor now. But we think of Big Bertha!

Lawrence has listened to his wife who advised him to "know the professor".  It worked for him, reminding me of a guy in Reno who should have listened to his wife to win a keno jackpot!

So from the beginning of the film with the porn film on t.v. reminding me of a Chinese Motel in Temple City, California, where I watched a porn movie, I followed this story as it gave me a glimpse of how films can remind me of minor places and events in my life. 

An important point is made in this film about female orgasm as it does seem that the Chinese men know a lot about women and orgasms.  Was she faking?  A bit of Deep Throat comes out in this film as we learn that orgasms come from the throat...fascinating, isn't it?

I suspect that this movie did lead to the  opener of the movie The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora. There are many ways that one can see that Dark Matter (Reading Matter) has some impact on "The Dark Knight Rises". I see it loud and clear!

Well, I won't spoil it but Aurora is a clue!  You must see the movie to figure it out and to wonder about it...Another one of those real Hollywood mysteries!  See you at the movies!

Dark Matter (Movie)

Meryl Streep plays an interesting role in this film about Chinese students who come to America to gain an education, and to assimilate within the college culture.  This movie is stark.  It is humorous to me.  I have had many connections to the Chinese community of yesterday but each generation naturally  has its own lifestyle, problems, and solutions since changing times and changing ways seem to occur regularly as one ages.  I was reminded of a time I stayed in a Chinese motel in Southern California by the opening scenes.  This particular motel provided adult movies on t.v. so that I was able to watch real porn there, and this movie opens with the older male stealing from television lines to watch a porn show on t.v.   Very amusing as it reminded me also of an incident in Florida where I learned how the black people steal and use communication lines with telephones hooking up to unknowing and unwitting paying customers. 

This is an inside joke in Southern California in the film industry since blacks and Chinese have often been switched in the television sitcom shows of yesteryear as well.  Hollywood does this all the time to any number of subjects that it uses in its sitcoms...not only do filmmakers switch sex, race, and place and time, but to those in the know it soon becomes obvious who is who when one can hear it all come back as well as be able to recognize all the set designs using specific items to indicate who is who.

Being specific a Chinese friend of mine years ago gave me a pillow as well as her entire family, and that pillow was made famous on a television show.  I could always think of her whenever I saw the specially made pillow.  It was featured in a black television show featuring black people instead of Chinese.  That was one place where I could know for certain the game that Hollywood plays.

So it is with this film that this kind of thing does take place in this film where the Chinese who come to a college university to further their own education, and to advance their own causes becomes the plot for a very tragic film.  It is based upon a true story which did happen at the University of Iowa in 1991 I just read on the search engine.

In this particular plot line, the young graduate student in question threatens the security of his adviser, and alienates him so that the young graduate student does not only not get his doctorate as he had wanted but he also gets into a personal kind of animosity with the adviser who frankly appears to be jealous of him.

The movie juxtaposes the American college community with the Chinese community back home, showing how the young Chinese student adapts to American life, has difficulties with fellow students, and how he tells a strange story to his parents to cover his own pride and humiliation.

The student is very likeable and very naive appearing; however, he is surrounded by people who are not naive but rather practical and sensible, so that he does receive sound advice. However, his own theory about the universe's beginnings is in conflict with his advisers who will not let him use his own ideas for his dissertation for the doctorate program.  This creates a tragedy which is based upon the real life story that occurred in Iowa.

I did read that the young man in Iowa is not quite so sociable and likeable, and naturally, the Iowa University supported the adviser in the case of the real person who did not like the fact that he seemed to be cheated out of some award that he had wanted.

In this case, the message is to suck up  to the adviser to get what you want which worked so effectively that the man who was so willing to change his ideas, his name, and all else to please the adviser is who won the prize in this fictionalized drama.  In truth, this is the case of most universities when graduate students practice the art of kiss up, suck up, and do what the professor wants, so that Americans do often get cheated out of the better students who will not do that kind of thing to stick to their own principles.   It is fairly common, as human nature is the same no matter where in the universe, and while someone like this young Chinaman might have been able to solve it all, it is due to the innate pride and bigotry of the professor whose personal animosity blocked him from doing so.

I reacted to this movie in many ways. One, I feel for the Chinese who do come to America as well as the Chinese who make the Ipads and Ipods and computers for Apple. The American system is condemned to take advantage of the poor in China, working them to death so that the ceo's at companies like Apple can make huge profits while sticking it all to the purchasers of the Apple computer systems.

I had disliked this in Mary McFadden, a fashion designer, who did the same to people of India in fabrics and clothing styles years ago.  She would use the low cost Indian worker to make great gowns and fashions but overcharge silly rich Americans who would pay her exorbitant prices. I find this business tactic deplorable, and so when I learned through ABC that Apple does the same with Chinese workers, I turned against Apple for that. I would not be surprised to learn that windows does the same in some ways...I don't know for a fact that that is the case, but it would not surprise me at all.

At any rate, the movie Dark Matter is about Chinese superstars in the world of physics and science, and in this case, cosmology.  This young man may have had the gift to be able to explain the big bang theory and to explain the beginning of the universe.  The scriptwriter brought up some very interesting points in the film so that it did pique my curiosity.

(Spoiler)  The movie has a tragic ending. It comes as a total surprise.  I shall not reveal it, but it written and directed so that it parallels Madame Butterfly.  It did make me think of my friend who gave me the pillow.  I am certain there is intent to do that.  I do recommend this movie.  It is agonizing in its blunt and forthright portrayal of the poor versus the rich, and how one can achieve the goal of becoming successful in America.   Reminding me of a statement by the Dalai Lama most recently on facebook.  Could it be coincidence?  Doubt it.

The Year 1974

Both my cousin Vanessa and my nephew Ryan were born on the same day in 1974, August 21.  My sister in law and my cousin Rita gave birth to their children on the same day. I had spent time with Rita, my cousin, during her pregnancy, as I had visited with her in N. Ft. Myers, Florida, and had taken her to Melbourne to visit her friends there, Sherry and Perry.  So I rememmber when Rita was carrying Vanessa. It is hard to believe that this many years have passed since that eventful summer when I stayed in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, when Nixon resigned, and Jerry Ford became President.

I had gone back to California after a year's leave of absence in which I had returned to live in Michigan with my parents, and their good friends, the Lamberts.  That year in Michigan was a long one but it produced some interesting results regarding the entertainment industry and the horse racing world.  Secretariat won the Triple Crown, the first horse to do so in 25 years, and I had seen the horse win the race for the first two legs at the home of the Lamberts, and then the final leg at my own home with my dad sitting behind me watching the race with me.  I had already traveled from California to Michigan through the state of Kentucky, and stayed overnight at a motel in Lexington, KY. which made me very conscious of the importance of the derby race for that year. I was unaware of Penny Cheney until later, but there are things about the colors and the silks that intrigue me.  They are shaped a lot like a dress that I had worn to a March of Dimes event in La Jolla, California.  The number on the photo that I received from the visit to the the Salk Institute has 73 on it.   Somehow I connect the dress to the silks and the number of the photo to the year.  Intriguing to me.

All that happened when I was in Michigan, so I returned to CaliforniI lea for a few months where I took up the cause of learning to become a travel agent through a group operated by a former TWA flight attendant, Diane Green.  If anyone learns anything about TWA it is that it is a very big Hollywood airline.

Jesus Christ Superstar and the Exorcist were two big movies that were released that year.  They both made an impact on me and my teaching career. I won't explain now how.
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I ended up going to Florida through the southern route, stopping to see my friends from years ago in Arizona who were now living in Texas.  From Texas and a visit to the Johnson Library in Austin, I went to Ft. Myers, Florida where I stayed for some time.  I even toured the Edison Winter Home which has some fascinating exhibits and statements that are unforgettable.  Yes, the original lightbulb does still burn there.  Ft. Myers, Florida puts on a light parade on Edison's birthday which just so happens to be my own as well.  I did not see the parade though as I had celebrated my birthday at the Tonight Show in Los Angeles, California that year. I saw Connie Stevens, Wayne Newton, and Kathy Rigby appear on the Tonight Show with my teaching friends, Don and Mary Robinson. I have a ticket yet for that show as a momento since a friend would not go unless I had had another ticket.

I met some very interesting people in Florida during the time that I was there.  A movie that was being seen then was Carnal Knowledge. I shall never forget that one.  Jules Pfeiffer wrote the screenplay I believe.  Not a great movie, but significant in understanding the thoughts of men at the time.

Cannonade won the Kentucky Derby that year since it was the 100th running of the Run for the Roses.  Little Current won the next two legs of the Triple Crown. I remember it all too well as well as a dog called Mississippi Toni. I liked dog races then also, and went to see a few.

I became superstitious about the way people were screaming around me at a place called the Entrada,a sports bar, regarding the races.  So for the next two legs of the crown, I stayed in my motel room instead of going to the bar, so that nobody would be superstitiously using me to win a race.  Sounds funny until you learn the truth...people are superstitious and think that they can actually win a race by calling it out!  It makes me sore when they do that, but I have on occasion done it myself.
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That is when I began to really get my feet in the water regarding racing. Before that, it had been a minor interest, just curious, but it grew into something stronger and bigger in Florida.  The Sunshine State.

I did sit directly across from John Mitchell, the attorney general, at Orlando Airport, and while we recognized one another, I him anyway, don't know that he knew me, but probably did, we neither one said a word to one another.

74- Quite a year! I remember it still.  Oh, another thing that was big then was the Devil's Triangle!

I guess that it was a devil of a year!   Maybe?

Raining Tonight

The Monsoon season has come, and we are getting a good amount of rain tonight along with some nice sounding thunder, and a few dashes of lightning.  I had to quickly cover my patio chairs, and bring in the green plants because I don't want them to get too waterlogged.  Cacti only need a little water, not an overdose, and this looks to be a heavy downpour.  But it feels good to hear it rain, and to watch the temperature drop.  For some reason, rain has a very consoling effect on one, and even on the pets.

I stayed in all day today because I am having some kind of allergic reaction to something that has made me all puffed up. I have no idea what the heck it could be but my face was so puffy that I could tell that something has stung me.  I have been cleaning up the carpet as much as possible because I also cut my hair tonight. It needed a good trimming, and I am trying to see how much brown I have left in my hair.  Quite a bit in the back to be honest. I was rather surprised as so much of it is turning very gray now, and I am no longer coloring it until I decide whether to let it all grow out, or to colortreat it.

I have been having psychic pains in my legs and hips during the night. I wrote a letter to Joan explaining all this, hoping that by talking about it that it might go away. For two or three nights, that seemed to work until this morning. I could not get up this morning as my cat likes to try to get me up but I kept telling him no, I cannot get up until I have had my full sleep. I slept late but I did wake up with the pain again, and it is severe pain.  But as I went back to sleep, it did disappear. I do notice it on rare occasion during the day but very seldom so I think it could be my own pain but I am inclined to think that it is a psychic pain.  I have often had what I call psychic pains, or sympathy pains.  They are real enough but the truth is that they are more connected with something other than your own body part. That is one of the problems of having mediumistic tendencies when one can pick up on someone's problems that are not really your own...the problem is to distinguish between that which is yours and that which is not yours.

I was so tired and ill from this allergic reaction that I did sleep on the floor for awhile, and had to force myself to get up. I then cut my hair which did help  me to get so called "well".  I did rebound to come back to what I think is my normal state of being, but for awhile I was pretty concerned that I was in a bad case of "unwell".  So I did not bother to go outdoors except to get the mail, and that was too hot even for me.  I decided to just rest and relax, and get well.

I went to the library yesterday to print my first page of my new novel on ATG. I actually liked the first page, and I like the rest of it too. It is very interesting and I intend to get on with it tonight maybe.  I must get printed all that I have written so far so tomorrow I am going to go to fedex where you can use their computers or yours there to see if I can get it printed there.  It is too expensive at the library at 25 cents a page.

Having it printed gives one a better sense of continuity and direction, so I must do it so I can get on with this book. It is actually fun for me so far.  If I am not interested in it, who will ever be?

Bitching Heat

It is still too dang hot to get out in the daytime so usually I stay home and try to get some housework done.  I like to get out at least one time in a day but I hate this heat! It is driving me up a wall.

August Heat

It is still so hot here that the air conditioning bills take up too much expense. I can hardly wait til It is O ctober so we can see a real reduction in the electric bills.  It becomes very annoying to realize that being cool is so seriously vital to one's good health.

Apparently, worldwide this year has seen many strange weather peculiarities, many of which happened here in the Arizona desert with all the dust storms that descended upon the valley. The meterologists have been  explaining away why all this is happening but frankly no matter the explanation it is a most unusual event.  The National Geographic Magazine has a photo display of various weather events that were out of the ordinary.

One of the things that I read the other day that truly fascinates me is the lineup of stars with the three pyramids in Egypt.  That will occur on December 3, 2012.  I am wondering what that will mean when the lineup occurs over Egypt.  It is easy to make up all kinds of omens and forecasts but the truth of it is much more significant than any of the socalled dire forecasts.

One of the more important events of the summer was the occasion of placing an instrument on Mars to do scientific lab experiments.  The pictures that are being sent back to earth are absolutely incredible to me.  The arm reached out to a rock and that amused me but also saddened me.  To think that one has to travel through space to find a rock!  I mean really, since we pick up debris that falls onto the earth from space, it seems a wee bit absurd to know that all we can find when we spend all this money and energy is a rock, and a hard place.  But they will have the robot for two full years to try to find some evidence of life on the planet.  They say they want to find evidence of water, but the truth is that they are looking for evidence of life in any form.

Without water, it is unlikely that man will be able to travel to the planet to stay for any length of time.  It is really no place for your burial ground in my opinion.  One cannot possibly carry enough water to even recycle for the number of years that it would take to live there and make it habitable. I am wondering how these planners are thinking.

Well, at any rate, I have enjoyed seeing the pictures, and wondering at the real value of scientific lab projects such as these.  For the expense, it is interesting to see the success of landing and discovering that one can send pictures and move the robot around the terrain, but I wonder where it will lead.

Life's Treasures

For the record, I want to say that all the material that I had just written just suddenly up and disappeared and I do not like this blogger word processor one bit for it. I do not know whether it is due to the computer or the word processor but I don't like a sudden change when writing a piece.

I am saying that all adult lifetimes are determined by childhood experiences, like it or not.  Sociologists and psychologists have studied and argued heredity versus environment for decades, but there is no doubt that childhood is the foundation for everything that an adult believes, decides, or accepts and rejects.

Parents, family, and friends whose ideas are fed into the child's mind determines his own sense of self worth, self expectation, and thus, his own future.  I doubt that many genius children would ever succeed in life if it were not for the parent's awareness of the child's unusual ability.

A child cannot exhibit musical ability without an instrument upon which to play, nor can he show or demonstrate reading ability without a book to read, or to paint or draw without a canvas of some kind upon which to draw.

Without close attention given to the child, most parents will overlook or neglect to find innate qualities that could be developed.  These hidden talents may lie dormant for years before the child within decides to explore some or many of those inner qualities that he would have demonstrated earlier had he had the opportunity.

The greatest treasure in life is self discovery, especially later in life when one thinks that one has done everything only to find that he has capabilities and talents latent but evident.

It is never too late to try to accomplish a task, a goal, a dream that one has either overlooked or prolonged.  Give in to attempting to make dreams come true no matter what age.  Not everyone has to do it all when young!

Youtube subscriptions

I just now tried to clean out my youtube subscriptions.  I have often accused ufo's of most everything that has happened to me in my life since witnessing one closeup with my mother years ago. I am certain that ufo's can cause all kinds of situations for people but just now in trying to unsubscribe from a ufo network that made it impossible to remove, I decided once again that it must be that ufo at wBut I aork again.

I had trouble at yahoo tonight trying to delete an email which annoyed me no end. 

I am trying to clean out my email as much as I can as it is frankly very annoying at times.  I wish that I had had some clear advice years ago when I first ventured into this land known as the world wide web.  It is a crazy and frustrating world, and one that I have not always enjoyed to be perfectly honest.  The internet has clearly proved to me that the world is full of nefarious souls which I do not hope ever to meet.

But I am still subscribed to the ufo network.  I just saw a movie about crop circles, and I get tired of people's sending me junk about satan and devils. I do not need that crap in my life.

One things always annoys me about religious people is their penchant to want to make everyone in the world exactly like themselves. I say not with me you don't.  You are not who is going to tell me about God and devils, thank you. I learned to read and write early enough that I don't need your help in reading.  If the Holy Ghost is present and can interpret scripture which appears to be confusing, let the Holy Ghost do it, but thank you, not some pretentious religious wag!

A lesson in Materialism

I have always said that I am a spiritualist which I am since I have had the luxury of learning about the spiritual record to learn of persons of the past who in my opinion must be myself or how would I be capable of learning so much about them.  I have not always liked what I have read about these people because in my case, most of these persons have been well studied and written about in historical matters.  Naturally, in my book, I am actually writing the story so that one does understand that these are stories that these characters tell about themselves as well as their fellow soldiers.  So all of it should be taken with a grain of salt, yet at the same time, much truth is told more than anyone could realize. The sad part about life and its recordings is that each one of us sees things through our own eyes, our own memory tanks, and our own jaundiced biased and personal view so that must always be taken in consideration.

But my cat taught me a lesson.  I have known all along how much I love this cat due to his cute little nose with the strange formation, his beautiful ears, clear eyes, gorgeous tail, and everything that I loved about him is not just personality but physical. I never gave credit to beauty until this cat I will admit.  I do not think that we let ourselves let beauty persuade us to like or dislike people because it is a quality that is so personalized that the person's own self absorption often detracts from the true beauty of the person. I have never liked people who tell me that they are beautiful or that people tell them that they are beautiful because I then think that that is all that they think that they are. One has to have more substance than just beauty. But my cat taught me differently. I have loved beautiful dogs too, but this cat just made me sit up and take notice. It is so naturally beautiful, so unself absorbed, so unaware that it is any different from any other, that that alone makes it even more beautiful to watch and to love.

I looked at a group of its breed tonight to see if I would buy another, and I know now that I would. I loved that cat so dearly for its markings.  It is just a joy to see other cats with those ears, that little nose, those bright eyes, that I fell in love again.

It is nothing to be ashamed of, to be a great beauty Most of us think of beauty as beauty of a person from within, but many people are just born beautiful and should be accepted and recognized as such finally.  I have learned a great lesson.

Yes, I believe all these people,dogs, and cats, and birds, and other animals are caught in spirit to look just as they did in materialized life. That is my experience from traveling through the spiritual recoreds. One does not lose one's material characteristics but they are clearly caught in spiritual tones. It is nice to know that. I loved learning that.

I admit I have some bad habits now. I am cross, irritable, short tempered, and difficult to put up with when things go wrong for me. I do express my anger, and irritation, and am trying to change that but it is a relief to let it out like some bad form of gas within the stomach.  Holding it in is a mistake...I am trying to slow down and not travel so fast, but I am just built that way...cannot change it all now even in typing...I am speed.

One week ago today

I am not yet fully recovered from the death of my precious cat Alexander, but  I am slowly weaning away from seeing him in my mind every time I do something that makes me recall his behaviour. It will take a long time for me not to see him, and I have posted a photo of him on my facebook page to always have him in my mind as well.  Why? Because I loved him dearly, and I believe I owe it to myself to keep his memory alive as long as possible.  I love Marcello as well, but not the same as Alexander,  Marcello is the more loving of the two as he loves to kiss and lick with his tongue, and he chooses to sleep in my bed at night.  Alexander was often jealous of Marcello's aggressiveness but Alexander loved to sleep in the sink or on the ironing board because he is a very large cat.

I am going to the horse races tomorrow and hope finally to win enough money to see me through a good long time. I am willing to take a risk on a dollar superfecta in some race that may get me going into the world of finally big time gambling.  I intend to use the Breeder's Cup to enrich my life in that respect so I am slowly building up for that. I have always played small time for many reasons...most is that is what I can afford as losing is a large part of this game, and I refuse to lose large sums when I cannot afford that.

I am also right now roasting an eye of round which is a very difficult piece of meat to make tender but I have found a recipe that I have decided to use, making a few changes for my tastes and reasons.  I will see if this system of once the time of roasting is up to let it stand in the oven without opening the door for two and half hours works. I am roasting it a bit longer so that the center is not raw also.

I read some tips that I am using but none of the spice tips was I able to implement. I will try those at another time. I loved my  previous roast so much that I decided to give this one a try through Walmart's this time round.

Writing all this out helps me. I intended my blog to be my sounding board place so that is why and how I use it...I need to air it out just to purge myself of my anxieities.

The Dark Knight Rises (Spoiler but you deserve to know)

If that incident which occurred in Aurora, Colorado, had not happened, I may not have bothered to see this idiotic film which is a worthless piece of junk.  Nobody can take pride in this stupid film, a ripoff of Superman and Luthor in its sewer scenes, and a knockoff of Charles Dickens's Tale of Two Cities in its final pages.  What Hollywood lacks in originality and creativity, it braves its way through with sheer audacious thievery and copycatism.  A really terrible job at that!
Between Glen Miller and A String of Pearls to Charles Dickens and Charles Darnay, this movie is one which should just make you realize you have sat through a rival  to someone running his fingers down the chalkboard in the classroom.  It is that dreadful! I hated it!

Anyone who is dumb enough to want to see their name at the end of the film in credits needs a quick fix at his local shrink prontoquick!  This is one of those films that everybody should deny in a second!

The editing and splicing together of scenes was almost humorous to me at times as I could see that little film editor poring over these lackluster scenes trying to pull them together into some kind of coherent pattern...Watchmen it was not!  The 300 it was not!  But hey folks! Be careful!  The writers/directors/producers of Watchmen and 300 are developing their brand of superman which if one thinks carefully may be the clue to what really happened to Batman in this film!

Briefly, for anyone who has not yet seen this movie from hell, it is about someone's fantasy to ruin a city from underground with lots of explosives blowing up football fields, sewer lines, and city streets. Haven't we already seen this same flick a hundred times already in a variety of ways?  Just like a good screwing, it is just another twist and turn of the same old flaccid unlucky city KRP!

I am sure you get the message by now.  The new flying batmobile and motorcycle just are not ingenious enough to make this movie worthwhile.  No inventiveness at all.  Just showed that James Bond has scared them into imitating some of those diabolically cruel mean British plots.  Stupid!
And you guessed it!  Sure enough, even some of the Titanic is replayed again in this film!  You gotta see to believe it and while I could see it coming since it was so carefully plotted and planned, it was the only halfway decent scene in the entire film! 

I can see why Christopher Bale is bailing out!  And Caine plus Bale addus up to Bain!

You just cannot kill comic book characters!  No matter how hard you try! It won't ever work!  They just reincarnate once again as Batman or Superman!  Easy to see through that setup if you asked me, and who didn't  ask me anyway?

Wait for this one to be free at the library. It is a made for adults who have not grown up and are still hooked on flying bats in the sky, but it is not for school children.  Too bad!  The children need a good story teller/ film maker who knows that children are who read children's comic books, and time for the adult boys and girls of the world to GROW UP!

Jerry Brown on Facebook

Today I saw a photo of Governor Jerry Brown of California with a cookie in his hand.  Tonight it has dawned on me that it looks like the court jester on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post.  Norman Rockwell drew a portrait of jester looking at a toy which resembled himself.  Brown looks like that same jester in the photo holding the cookie in his hand which has a picture of himself like his portrait in the state capitol.  I saw that cover blown up and magnified in a department store in Sacramento when I went to the state capitol to see Governor Brown there years ago. I took a photo of it. If I think I may put it on facebook or some other internet album.  It is the cover on the Saturday Evening Post on the day I was born. 

Del Mar Millions and Lottery Millions

Today was a gambler's dream come true or nightmare, depending upon how you look at it.  One thing that gambling does prove to people more than anything else is a person's real penchant for greed!

I knew very well that the large carryover would draw millions to it but I had not anticipated that it would grow to nearly three million dollars from a quarter of a million. If that doesn't teach you something about money and its power, I don't believe anything will.  The pick 6 also grew to nearly two million dollars and both did pay off, but I had suspected that this was a day when the track was going to have heavy favorites pay...I was pretty close to right. 

But tonight's power ball rose to 320 million dollars and so far, I have not yet learned if a winner has been found in it or not. I will check in a few minutes to learn.  It appears that someone has won tonight's powerball if I am reading my information correctly but I have not yet seen it announced.

At any rate, I decided to try to win the pick 5 but after checking it through and listening to the various picks I decided that I would sit it out because it would not pay me enough to buy into it.  I could not afford to waste the money on it so I went to an otb but got cold feet so bad that I did not bet at all until the very last race and then did not win that when I did bet on it...but I stayed very low.  I bought a lunch to sit at the table and watch and listen to others bet, win, and lose.  It was quite a scene and then someone reminded me of Arlington Millions which is this Saturday. I am now studying that opportunity, hoping to find a way to make some megabucks instead of peanuts!

Fortunately, the racing secretary is not making it impossible for people to make money on a horse, so that the bettors themselves will determine the various pot sizes.

I needed the action today to get my mind off my recent encounter with my decision to put my cat to sleep. It has been hurting me all week long as I do miss him so much.  Nobody can ever understand how one can get so attached to a pet, but believe me, pets do things to us that people themselves cannot do.

I simply adored him.  There will never be another like him.  I am just so saddened that I had not seen and realized that he needed help. I feel so bad about it now.

So going to the horses did me good when I saw a few really highly energetic and healthy appearing horses. I always hate it when I see horses that look down in the mouth, or so anxious and wrapped up in the race that it shows on them.  Some are frankly downright at times very sad to watch.  I wonder if they do use medicine and drugs too much on many of these horses.

But I enjoyed the afternoon and it did do me good to have a change of pace to quit worrying and thinking about my cat.  But it is impossible not to think about him when they are all you have and are underfoot all the time. I know that to some extent my other cat misses him and probably wonders why he cannot find him.  It has probably caused him some distress as well.

I keep toying and playing with him to keep him company and he in turn keeps meowing away as always keeping me constantly wondering what in the world is wrong now?

I had hoped that someone had not won the powerball since it had three sixes in it.  6, 27, 46, 51, 56 and 21 was the powerball. Three sixes and two one's is a difficult combination but I am certain that someone did win somewhere.  Soon we will know.

There is a pick 9 at Arlington Park for tencents. I may try it this Saturday since most every race is a stakes race. Stakes races are often as hard to get and worse than some allowance, claiming, and maiden races.  I figured out a system of betting on a pick 9 that would cost $64.80.  There is a carryover of $36, plus for tomorrow's Arlington Park pick 9.  I wonder if it will get caught or if it will grow.  I can't play until Saturday because on Saturday the pick 9 begins with the 4th race which is a time when I could get the bet into play if I go to Turf Paradise to do it.

I would have to juggle European horses with American horses to win such a thing, since I was informed that the Europeans are very strong.

#1000 posts Holy Moly!!!!!!

I just read an interesting story at Yahoo about an actress whose name frankly I have nearly forgotten, Rashida Jones or something to that effect who had called upon John Travolta to come out of the closet about his being gay.  Apparently, she believes that when men make accusations against him but drop their law suits that the accusations mean that he is guilty.

Rumors never mean that someone is what other people try to say that they are, no matter what it is that another person says until the person themself says that is what he is, nobody should jump to conclusions about anything he may  be, whether married, single, gay, straight, nun, monk, or priest whether actively or inactively.

I am going to discuss the problems that straights have with gays at this time in history. 

Most straight people do not like having the gay world try to force their lifestyle down their throats.  The gays are overly aggressive too many times, and most straights would just as soon that they keep their personal lives to themselves where they can find support and friendship with one another.

I have known many male gays but few female lesbians, and part of it is homophobia as they like to call it.  When I saw a movie called Fish and learned that Lesbians actually do dream about dates with another, and think about each other just as boys and girls do in the straight world, I was dumbfounded. I would hate to be a target of a lesbian dream or nightmare and that may be what is known as homophobia. I would not want some woman lusting after me.

I learned about gay lifestyles when a senior in high school. Before that, I knew little about it because it was not discussed or thought about in my world when I was a young kid growing up.  I had had too many boyfriends as a youngster, and during my adolescence, I withdrew into my shell, becoming very self conscious about my appearance and looks. I was afraid of either being rejected or overly desired by boys at that time as I was at that awkward age when I did not know how to handle myself with boys or men.

When I learned that boys like boys I did not know the graphics about what happens between men and boys then, but years later I found it, and frankly, it repulsed me, and I understood why the one gay friend I had would not confide in me what gays do to one another, or to boys or men that they like and want to have sexual favors from.

I came into contact with gays as an adult mostly in Arizona and California.  I had a neighbor who was a part of a transvestite group, and I dated and almost married a man who was bisexual, acdc, went both ways, and learned then the truth about what it is that men do to one another. Many men are married when young, but divorce, and then come out of their closet to admit that they are gay.  That is what had happened to this group of men who lived in the same apartment complex that I had lived in years ago.

I then met a group who worked at Saks Fifth Avenue as a hairdresser and his gang of merry men. We even partied together and he one time did do a hairstyle for me.  My favorite hairdresser in California was also gay, and admitted it so much that he wore eye mascara, and told me all about his Hollywood parties.  He knew how to manage my hair so that when I went to New York to meet Mr. Kenneth, Jackie O's hairdresser, I got a compliment from Mr. Kenneth. He liked my hairstyle.

So I have known many men who are gay and many who were quite fun and nice to know.  A fellow teacher friend of mine was rumored to be gay, and we all knew that he was. He was the drama teacher, but I liked him, and he and I were close friends to one another, since we were both from Ohio.  He got picked up at the May company for soliciting though and was jailed and thus lost his job at the school for his behaviour.

However, there are gays who are like my first childhood friend had told me about, abusive and mean to women.  I had some of those as students in my classes.  I could always tell who the gay boys are for they were often rude, mean, and nasty, often ugly towards women.  An incident at Center which is why I am discussing this now because Center was the stage for the abcnbc combo t.v. show Welcome Back Kotter, had a boy in class who everyone knew was gay.  This was in the 8th grade. Gay children know early in life that they like children of their own sex and they are often very outspoken about it.

This class was the setting for the t.v. show and all the kids knew it and were discussing it.  Eventually, it got so that it erupted in my classroom.  The kids had always said Put Us Down, whichI would not do, but they thought it was for the Dean Martin show.  It turned out that it was not only for the Dean Martin show but a tizzy of other shows as well including that with John Travolta and Ron Pallilo, the kid who died today, who had played the role of Horshack. 

I had seen him when he came to Detroit to discuss his role on the show and the writers of the show. I always knew the show was a copy of the kids in my class when one of the lines that I remember so well was "up your nose with a rubber hose". I remember exactly which student said that remark. All of this brings us to Lincoln, believe it or not.

Well, anyway, this gay kid came into my classroom and was very disruptive.  It was the first time that I actually did finally say something to put him down, and it was a doozy! 

I put him down good.  I won't say his name here.  It is an important one, named for a Hollywood actor in a way, but not John Travolta.

Another student, a nondisruptive one, and a budding film maker himself, and again these are eighth graders, was very helpful to me at the time, making me aware that all that was happening was being staged for a Hollywood film...turns out many different Hollywood films came from that classroom.

So when it comes to gays, and straights, as the boys liked to look up under our dresses and skirts, and one told about a model who walked around with no underwear on so that they could look up her dress when she walked up the stairs, believe me, the students of today, as that was when Doc Severinsen was with Today's Children, are not one bit bashful or shy about admitting to gay way or lusting after pretty teachers or classmates.

It won't matter to anyone whether one is gay or straight but at least let us be honest about it and don't lie about someone's lifestyle.  I am not attracted to or interested in anyone who is gay or homosexual which ever word one prefers to designate, but I know that nobody is going to drum either out of existence.  The fact is that gays bash heterosexuals or straights as much as straights bash gays.  Both lifestyles have their share of abuses.  Neither is free from sin! of any kind.

Myself, I do not understand the marriage nonsense as I think it just that.  One should have legal protection no matter how you live, whether single, married, gay, or straight, childless or house full of children.  We are the society who makes the laws.  I think it is time that society grows up and acts like responsible adults about life on the planet.  Whether gay or straight is not the issue.  Whether you are forcing it or abusing it is the issue!  Let it be...

Del Mar has double carryover

A $238, + carryover in the pick 5 at a cost of 50 cents per bet has attracted the attention of the horse racing world.  Not only the pick 5 is a carryover but the pick 6 which costs $2.00 to play has a quarter of a million dollar carryover also.  This means that with all the action on these two races that they will more than double in size so it behooves one to consider playing one or both of them.  There is also a pick four in the last four races at 50 cents a ticket so that if one is not satisfied with one's efforts in either the 5, or the 6 one can go for the 4.  All the way through is a pick 3 and a  running double so it will be an interesting day to see how this pans out. On top of that, Power Ball is at an all time high with over 300 million dollars up for grabs.  What a day for gamblers who have the money to play the games.

So I listened to Dan Illmana and Mike Beers analyze the pick 5 and pick 6 tonight.  I am also reading everything that Brad Free and other local handicappers have to say. Sometimes they know more than others about the condition of a horse, especially since several horses have not raced in over a year and in one case two years.  What the heck!  Can that horse really win?

I looked at all the first time lasix medicated horses also and the Japanese jockey Fukunaga is riding one of those horses, so that makes that pretty interesting as well.

I will  either go to Mary's or Upper Deck. I went to Upper Deck today to get the racing form.  I found a new patio dress at The Rack so  I bought two dresses and a blouse at $5.00 apiece.   This is a summer sale and that patio dress is a gorgeous specially embroidered and beaded dress made in India which would sell ordinarily for well over $100 and I just loved it. It is  a tad bit too big but it is all right for me to wear around here. I love those kind of dresses.  I bought a Jones tee top that has sequins all over it, and an R&K original short dress which fits but makes me know to lose 20 pounds asap.

So hopefully, I will win the $16 back tomorrow to pay for the dresses which is all that they cost at five bucks a throw and I hope to hit one of the group bets, but don't know yet how I intend to play this out...The dress from India has an elephant on it so I hope it brings me luck...it has a bird, a butterly, an elephant and some other image that I have forgotten. Truly gorgeous dress that is worth a pretty penny!  Lucky me! I found it!

Google and blogs

I have a lot to learn about blogs.  This entire thing has been an experiment for me, and it is not made any easier because of my computer. 

I am planning to purchase a new computer this fall to coordinate with a new smartphone, and as of this time I do not know for certain which I will be buying, but am pretty sure it will be all apple and iphone 5.

Speculative.  Not fact yet.

I am in the process of writing my novel on Alexander, a project at times I wish I would have just left alone, and kept to myself, but once started, I have no choice but to finish it.

It is actually a lot of fun at times. I am having fun with it right now. I discovered a novel way of making dry historical facts fun and amusing to tell.  But I am keeping that secret.

Frankly, I have hated most books of historical fiction due to the fact that I always smell the author too much instead of the characters.

There are a few really good ones!  Darn few!

I never underestimate bright intelligent students, and those are the kids I have in mind while writing this.  I just never knew all the business end aspects of writing until a friend finally shared her ongoing experience with all of us in her audience field. I sincerely appreciate her more than she will ever know.

Temporary Insanity

No matter what anyone says, coping with a loss such as I just have done with my most beloved cat is a case of temporary insanity.  I do not care what anyone says, grief is so strong and powerful in such a situation that one is not one's own natural and normal self. One goes through the motions, tries to cope with daily affairs and matters, and lives as near to normal as possible but nothing can stop one from occasionally bursting into tears, remembering all the habits and behaviour of the cat that is no longer in its natural place to be.  I have been undergoing all kinds of so called philosophical or moral uplifting thoughts about this, not just to make myself feel better or to become smarter or wiser, but just because all of a sudden these things sink in.

We live a materialistic existence.  We talk about spirit but it  is the materialized being that we acknowledge, see, love, and become attached to.  I realized all along how much I had loved this cat for his extraordinary beauty but it is those very things that make us bond to one another.  We are attracted by appearances, by feelings, by behaviour, by attitudes, by thoughts, by speech, and we have to finally admit this to ourselves eventually.

I have had the great gift of seeing into the past and learning that all that is material is copied exactly in spirit the way it had been in the material life. So that means that Alexander will always be seen in his physical form as he had been materialized in this life so he will appear in his spiritual life. As it is above, so it is below; as it is below, so it is above. I understand that now better than ever.

I trust in myself and all the spiritual gifts that I have received. I believe in them.

I believe that Alexander is not only vivid in my memory but also in the spiritual world in which he is caught as well.  We have our moments. Life is fleeting but it is also permanent and eternal, and it takes many lifetimes it would seem for us to learn that lesson of how in each we have a materialized form, a materialized being that is always caught forever in the spiritual, but as all of life is motion and movement, our energy cells move on so that we become a part of another time period in another spiritual and materialized form, all being the same vast energy from the beginning to the end...but appearing and reappearing in many different shapes, sizes, and forms...Life goes on.  It truly becomes a beautiful expression of creation when fully understood...it may take forever to do that totally and completely if at all.

More on HeatWave

The heatwave has been extended to Tuesday now. It got up to 115 today again in various locations in the valley.  It has been so hot that I did not go out today except to go to Walgreen's and finally to come here to the clubhouse tonight. I came here to use the free wifi as I have only a few days and left and a small amount of time. 

I watched a show of the meteor showers that were on photo slides at yahoo but I have not tried to see them at night myself because I know it is impossible unless I go to the fields across from Pima. The lights are too bright around here to see anything in the sky much.

I have not gotten over the loss of Alexander yet at all. In fact, today was much worse for me because I had to walk past the vet's to go to Walgreens and all I could think about is where is he now.  Did they throw him out into the garbage or did they cremate him? I wonder since they had asked about his ashes. I figure that maybe they wanted to see what was wrong and then maybe they do cremate him. I would not know but I suspect that they might want to do an analysis to help their own understanding. Heck, who knows?  I am just upset about it all yet.

Marcello has been very quiet.  I know that he knows that something is different but he has not been his usual meowing self.  He has slept most of the day. He did try to get me up as usual this morning but I could not and did not get up until I had finished my sleep. I cannot be interrupted when I am in deep sleep or it makes me ill.

I threw out the scratching pole. I will buy Marcello a new one.  I changed the litter box and wondered if that could have had anything to do with. I am just wondering why this happened as it had because I had always feared that they would outlive me and wondered what would happen to them. I don't worry about that now at all. I think it is probably a genetic defect of some kind but when one doesn't know the history of the parent cat nobody can ever know.





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Beauty

I suspect that each one of us believes that we are great judges of beauty.  We all have our own individual attitudes and requirements for what we believe to be beautiful. When beauty is nonthreatening we can honestly enjoy and savor its importance to us.  A bright, vivid sunset is recognized by nearly everyone, and few will ever resent or envy it.  A rose, a rainbow, a lily, even branches of a tree, mountaintops, desert sands, all these are enjoyed with a great deal of pleasure and appreciation.  A dog, a horse, a rabbit, a cat, an animal of any kind can be truly valued for its natural beauty. In fact, that is what I loved so much in Alexander is his exceptional beauty. He had the most glorious eyes, the richest fur, silky and satiny, smooth as silk, luxurious especially in his tale.  He had the most delicate profile, the cutest little boxer type nose, the prettiest sweetest smile which often  played on his delicate face. I loved his beauty alone as well as his great disposition.

Beauty is a joy forever.  It makes one have a happy heart. 

But in a man or woman, if over glamorized, over done, to the point of what appears conceit and vanity, beauty becomes a form of poison, a detriment to others who envy it, and a curse to the one who bears it when it is not done naturally and unselfconsciously. Beautiful women are a joy to see, to stare at, the ponder, and wonder, just as handsome and beautiful men give women and probably other men pleasure too when the bearer of that particular beauty is seemingly natural and confident without seeming to love only himself and his physical appearance.

Both fundamentalist Christians and Muslims stress the improtance of humility, the Muslims to the point of absurdity when it means covering their bodies and faces, hair and other natural physical attributes so that false humility becomes a part of their lifestyle.  However, models and actresses exaggerate and over emphasize the need for so called perfection in physical appearance to the point to where no model or actress can show a wrinkle, a blemish, a sign of physical deterioration at all, and that is when beauty is at its worst, the most poisonous form so that obsession with self appearance becomes annoying and irritating rather than enjoyable, relaxed, and natural.

Because of my cat's natural beauty, I came to understand why it is right to value and appreciate true beauty when perfected to the point of outstanding or extraordinary.  I just loved to look at him, to see him wrap his gorgeous tail around his body, and stand, preening like the little king that he was.  He was just too gorgeous for words. I love him so much in memories now but he was frankly one of the  most beautiful specimens of cats in the world.

I thanked Sandra for giving him to me, to give me that kind of happiness for even a short time.  I am so grateful that I took him in when she offered him. I have loved him more than anyone will ever know as he loved me just as much and just as sincerely.  It is beauty that graces the heart.  To be beautiful from within is the right truest form of beauty for it is in loving that beauty is fully expressed.

The Day After

I am up early this morning.  Yesterday was very traumatic for me. I can hardly believe it all happened so fast.  It went too fast but it was urgent.  I will never know for sure what is the cause of his illness.

I will forgive myself for anything that I have said so far on this topic. I probably was half out of mind with fear and worry, but I won't deny that I was trying to save him, to keep him alive.  But when the vet mentioned ashes I did not even question it. I wonder about that now.  I just was too stunned and too shocked to know what I was doing, but I did not want Alexander to suffer any more than he already had.

The apartment seems empty without him, and I sense that my own life has changed in many ways now.  I cannot explain yet but I am wanting to make great changes already.  It will take me some time to come through all this. I woke up with a headache but it is going away. I do have little Marcello but I don't like for him to be alone either.  But I will not take in another pet yet for some time. 

Like I said, I will forgive myself anything I say now. I am under great stress.

Worst day

I had to put my favorite cat Alexander to sleep today. It had not occurred to me that his weight gain would be a hazard to his health. I do not even know how it is that he became so round but after he was neutered he blossomed into a very large cat, big in the hips and pelvic region, had big paws, but the weight that he gained was unusual but I had heard that happens to cats after being neutered.  In the last three days, I noticed he was not wanting to eat.  He was always a healthy eater.  He had had a bout of internal activity that clearly disturbed me but he would struggle it out to seem to swallow it. It would be ordinarily either ejection of hairballs which had happened one time or else vomit but he seldom vomited but always seem to cough it up to swallow it.  I was hoping that he would eject something since he would not eat at all, and seemed very slow in movements.  His breathing was extremely labored, so I would watch to see if these palpitations slowed down or sped up, and called a vet, both vets in fact, to see if I could get in.  The vet next door said that if I could get him to bring him in so I put him a cart and took him to get examined. I wanted to save him if I could, but after the xrays showed that he had excessive fluid all around his heart, so thick and so dangerous, it was decided that he should be euthanized.  I consented, not wanting him to suffer, knowing that I could not afford to have him drained week after week as was explained was likely to happen, and so I gave him rest and peace.  It has hurt me terribly as I love this cat so much and miss him so much now.  I know that his brother will begin to realize that Alexander won't be around any more. It is a sad night for me to realize that my darling cat who loved me so much is now in spirit instead of in flesh. I know that he loves me and Marcello so much.  We both love him so much. 
I did call Sandra, the girl who gave him to me, and she came over to sit with me a bit as I was in a bad way about it. I had had a microchip put in him if he got lost, was overly protective that nothing ever happen to him, and then this...It is just too much.  But it has its good side. I realize that all those two years were wonderful years together, that maybe we can actually meet friends in people who we can love as much even this late in life also...it has given me a totally new look at life til death. 

I did tell people at Facebook who I know are cat lovers.  They have been so very kind to me, especially Melissa Baird and Lee Ann Sterbick, Linda Clark Lazzeloni, Sandra Thomas, Donna Erskine, Dave Casson, Ashleigh Toumolonis, Judy Perry, and Ruth Kozak and Connie Hainline.   What wonderful friends to have to help when I really have needed it.   God bless you all. 

Heat Wave

Arizona is suffering extreme heat again this week which is supposed to last til Sunday so I won't budge from the apartment until late in the afternoon to attempt to escape the worst of the heat.  It was a slight bit better when I went to Fashion Square to pay my Verizon bill. I checked out the Samsung Galaxy III and mentioned the IPhone 5 that is rumored to be coming out soon. I had read about it on a Verizon website last evening. It sounds super fantastic to me.  I wish I knew what to do now.


Windows 8 is supposed to be coming out in the fall also so I won't even think about buying a computer until I learn what is what in the world of Windows 8 and Apple's latest Mac device.  I think that probably the I pad might be all right but the truth is that I suspect that Apple is far more expensive than any windows computer is.  So it is iffy at best right now.


Sunflower has now changed to become Sprouts and because I wanted a Big Gulp at Circle K I missed the trolley so went to Sunflower now Sprouts to buy some blueberries for 2 for $3.00, a really good price, and some lettuce for salads.

I tried Whole Foods the other day for organic foods and will probably never do that again. I am not that much a health nut to think that organic foods are truly better for me than some other vegetable or fruit or chicken even.  Maybe so, but I am convinced that our bodies adapt and that we all become immune to some extent of all the chemicals used to preserve food.

I defy anyone to tell me that if we listen to every warning there is that we will simply become crazy for it all.  Every time we turn around there is some new fear propagated by the media that I just turn it off and refuse to listen any longer.  If we listened to everything, we would literally shut down and eat nothing at all.

I don't think eating at Subway is healthier than eating at some other fast food store but a little bit of advertising convinces people that it does. 
 
 I look fairly decent for a woman my age, and I realize how old I am getting, especially when I keep pulling the same stunts repeatedly at grocery stores. I always start to walk off, leaving my bags on the counter top so that the girl tonight had to bring my bag to me...God bless her.  I forget that they are not in the cart if they don't put them there.

Oh well, that is due to old age, and too much distraction.  Just having to cope in old age!

Working on Novel

Wow! I just blocked out the second book to the novel on Alexander. I do not know until I get all the drafts completed how long this will be but most likely it will become a series of books.  It is actually more and more fascinating as I study it and try to develop a story about it.
In addition to the factual blocks which I just wrote out on my blogspot, I am writing storylines on word pad which are in tune with the factual information.  It takes on many different styles and presentations. 

But the facts have to be outlined so that each one can produce a different story that can be developed from it.  This is a most exciting time in Alexander's development as a ruler/leader because he is still idealistic, young, eager, enthusiastic, and naive in his approach to the tasks set before him.  He has to learn that he has had many enemies, so that he grows in his comprehension of the forces that are all around him.

One thing that is missing from such a discussion is the attitude of the soldiers in his military.  Those stories must be developed as we proceed but for now we at least have the movement from one place to another, and the emerging character of Alexander unfolding before our eyes.

Heat Spell

The temps are so high here that it is unbearable. I can hardly stand to walk from my apartment to the laundry room when it is this hot. I have not yet checked my mail, but I did finally get the nerve to go to Walmart's this afternoon to get some few things for my cat and myself.  I needed catfood, as we go through it so fast, and these picky kitties eat only certain kinds of food anymore, having become spoiled so much.  And I needed paper towels and bread.  So I bought two loaves of bread to last a couple weeks.  I got on the trolley when the man told me that it was overheating so he had to stop to let it cool down which is why he was late. I thought that he was early rather than late but did not argue with him about it.  I just wanted to be where it is cool.

It has taken me four hours to recover from that darn heat and I am not fully recovered yet. It saps all the strength from me, so that I do not want to do the laundry at all yet and still have not ventured out to see if I have any mail or not.

I thought about going to the clubhouse to use the wifi and watch the Olympic games but the heck with it. I  want the comfort of relaxation inside my own room so that I can get into the fridge if need be.

I began writing my next draft on the second part of Alexander's life in my novel. It may end up a series of books.  But I have begun where he finally has the authority to exercise his will in the coming days in gaining the approval of all of Greece so that he can invade Persia after he consolidates and conquers each and every surrounding nation neighbor to Greece.

I am off and running as they say.   I hope I can find a way to get this material printed as I write it.  I have to figure that problem out next. 

Arizona Mills

I have to have my eyes examined, so I traveled to Arizona Mills today to check out Alex Optical to see what their on going deal is as last I knew one could get a free eye exam if one purchases a pair of glasses.  Same deal so I just walked by to go to Lenscrafters to check out cost of eye exam at that outlet.  I know what it is at Fashion Square but I wanted to learn if it were the same or different at Arizona Mills, a mall which specializes in discounts.  No discounts at Lenscrafters, but at least I learned something about the information which had just been sent to me through the mail.  A new special kind of featherlight lens is available for progressive lenses and I wanted an explanation of it.

On the way homeI took a different bus route so that I ended up going into Whole Foods, a specialty grocery store for Organic foods. Very expensive but I bought some fruit and some chicken.  Set me back a pretty penny but the food turned out to be very good so I guess I should be quite happy. It is a lot better than paying less to have to throw it away.

Now I am looking for special recipes for chicken breasts.

I am gearing up for my continuation of writing my first draft of my novel on Alexander, so I took Lewis V. Cummings book to read while I was on the bus.  It is really quite fascinating at the point where I am, and I have some fresh ideas about my rewrite on the first part of the book so I have created a blog called First Draft in which I will begin writing the next part of the Alexander novel, and using it to store ideas and block the book together. It is an experiment to see whether I can use this blog as a way to write a novel and edit it as I go along.

I have several purposes in mind, and as I am one of those free thinkers who allows for all kinds of alterations midway through, I place no restrictions on how this blog will develop. I am looking to see a blog's potential for a novel.