Worst day

I had to put my favorite cat Alexander to sleep today. It had not occurred to me that his weight gain would be a hazard to his health. I do not even know how it is that he became so round but after he was neutered he blossomed into a very large cat, big in the hips and pelvic region, had big paws, but the weight that he gained was unusual but I had heard that happens to cats after being neutered.  In the last three days, I noticed he was not wanting to eat.  He was always a healthy eater.  He had had a bout of internal activity that clearly disturbed me but he would struggle it out to seem to swallow it. It would be ordinarily either ejection of hairballs which had happened one time or else vomit but he seldom vomited but always seem to cough it up to swallow it.  I was hoping that he would eject something since he would not eat at all, and seemed very slow in movements.  His breathing was extremely labored, so I would watch to see if these palpitations slowed down or sped up, and called a vet, both vets in fact, to see if I could get in.  The vet next door said that if I could get him to bring him in so I put him a cart and took him to get examined. I wanted to save him if I could, but after the xrays showed that he had excessive fluid all around his heart, so thick and so dangerous, it was decided that he should be euthanized.  I consented, not wanting him to suffer, knowing that I could not afford to have him drained week after week as was explained was likely to happen, and so I gave him rest and peace.  It has hurt me terribly as I love this cat so much and miss him so much now.  I know that his brother will begin to realize that Alexander won't be around any more. It is a sad night for me to realize that my darling cat who loved me so much is now in spirit instead of in flesh. I know that he loves me and Marcello so much.  We both love him so much. 
I did call Sandra, the girl who gave him to me, and she came over to sit with me a bit as I was in a bad way about it. I had had a microchip put in him if he got lost, was overly protective that nothing ever happen to him, and then this...It is just too much.  But it has its good side. I realize that all those two years were wonderful years together, that maybe we can actually meet friends in people who we can love as much even this late in life also...it has given me a totally new look at life til death. 

I did tell people at Facebook who I know are cat lovers.  They have been so very kind to me, especially Melissa Baird and Lee Ann Sterbick, Linda Clark Lazzeloni, Sandra Thomas, Donna Erskine, Dave Casson, Ashleigh Toumolonis, Judy Perry, and Ruth Kozak and Connie Hainline.   What wonderful friends to have to help when I really have needed it.   God bless you all.