Confessions

To some extent, this is a form of confession. I don't feel as though there is anything wrong in admitting to being interested in finding the truth about one's self if that is what I have been doing, but I am reminded by others when I discuss it at some websites that it is a sin in the Catholic church to believe in reincarnation. Does that mean that the Catholics are stupid or what? I cannot say. But I have a friend who had been on an Alexander discussion site who always cautioned me that I was in deep trouble so far as the church would think. How he can speak for the church is more than I can know but I just wanted to make this statement upfront.

I had been discussing this at a website called mydeardiary, and as the identity of the person was anonymous I said a lot of things there that apparently may have caused some trepidation in some people for the site has been taken down and disbanded, and unfortunately, I did not download any of my material to keep for myself even though I could have. What I did have the option to do there was to at least keep it updated daily so that it was as fresh as could be. In this manner, I am having to retrace my own thoughts, but I also began to use livejournal as it had a private button by which whenever I referred to times past I could keep it totally to myself rather than having to share it with others.

I did keep handwritten notes along with my sketchbook and I am planning to share some of the sketches, crude that they may be, so that one can see the effort I made to at least keep this ongoing search sensible to understand.

I had gone back in time to the time of George Washington too as I have already mentioned, and I did discuss that time on a web called spiritweb also. Someone did ask why they could not do the same things as I had done, and before long that website was taken down also. I wonder at why.

But at that website I pointed out that I had been able to smell the wood fire that I smelled in a house in some Eastern place that GW had visited. I had seen quite a lot of GW in his physical appearance. How one can do this when one is inside the person is to have an object that mirrors one's self...George was in a leather outfit at the time, was very tall, lean, and lanky, and was in his early youth, probably his 20's, and someone had challenged me on that, never realizing that he was a frontiersman...I later found a beautiful portrait of him dressed like that and that made me very happy as someone had actually thought I was wrong about his suit. They could only imagine him in his formal attire made especially for portraits. How strange people can be when they find issue with your own learnings in your own way. I learned that there is a lot of hostility towards someone such as myself who can dare speak the truth amidst the pools of people who want to believe in myths more than truth.

So for that reason, I will be careful about what I say in this blog but I will be presenting my own story, and as the saying goes, the devil be damned. I do not intend that anyone should think any of this fiction because I had learned long ago not to try to turn this into a piece of fiction. It is being stated as best I can remember it happening.

Also, I have often thought about writing books on these same subjects...children's books in particular. It will take some time before I finally have everything all brought together in a neat package enough to do that. In other words, I have lots of traveling and research to do to make it salable the way that I want it to be.

But in the meantime, I want to present this experience in going into the past as well as I can do, and naturally, after laying it all out, add photos, pictures, whatever, to make it more interesting and appealing...but first things first...next post will be about my first time finally in being Alexander.