If any year has been truly difficult and unbearable, it has been this past year for me. I consider this to have been one of the worst years in my life. It is strange at what we learn about one another when adversity hits us.
I do not want to dwell on the negative at this point in time, but suffice it to say that most of 2014 has been a very dreary and sad experience. I cannot help but wonder what 2015 will be like. Mostly, I had prided myself on never having been hospitalized, and unfortunately for me, I met up with incompetent doctors who were responsible for my having to go into a hospital to repair a cat bite wound. I am still paying for that experience and I am not happy with anything about it but for one thing that occurred at that time.
I have always had many unusual experiences around me which tell me that spirits are hanging around me. When I first moved into this apartment and had Alexander then with me, we had had an experience with an entity that made its presence known which scared Alexander. He could see the vision better than I did but I did catch an outline of it so I know how tall this entity had been so that I had an idea of its size. I never did give it an identity.
Many things had happened in the apartment at the previous apartment that were amazing and I took them as being evidence of God's presence in my life. I am also convinced that God again revealed his presence to me during the time that water appeared mysteriously on the floor of my kitchen area. I am convinced that there is some presence there even now. Not too long ago an incident happened on top of the counter that caused me to think that some spiritual entity is hanging around me.
I even had heard my name called loudly one morning so that I had thought when I saw my neighbor out doors that it could have been her. She denied it so I then thought it must have been a spiritual audio then. I then thought it is my mother.
Then this past spring renovations began on the apartment building which truly sent me into a downspin for the entire summer. It is not yet finished even at this date since men are still working on the fire pit which has been built near the swimming pool. It is a god awful thing to see. I do not know why on earth all this concrete is being poured into such a small area but apparently somebody thought it would be a selling point. In fact, it is the reverse of that.
The final three buildings are beginning to be stripped of their roofing tile and the fences around the patio. That is a sure sign that come January the buildings will undergo the same process that our buildings which are in the front have endured for so many months. I was pushed to despair at times by all this ongoing activity which clearly clogged our parking lot next to my room. That parking lot is still filled with materials that should be removed asap so that cars can once again park there. It is a mess and I mind it terribly.
Plus the fact that my body is undergoing real changes that reveal how aged I am becoming. My body is falling apart rapidly now, and I wonder how long I will continue to be self reliant and independent. I hate to think of ever not being able to take care of myself as I do now.
So I am on a health binge and am going to drink smoothies every day if possible to keep my body in good health nutrition wise. I am cutting out sugar but I still eat some sweets. I cannot give them up totally. I found a salted caramel candy that I just love. Oh God, it is so good that I wish I could find more of it. I got it at T.J. Max but there is no label on it to know what company makes it. I wonder if I will ever find it again.
Remembering that God is with me does help me most of all. I am happy to believe in God's personal care and interest in me. I trust my health to God's will more than anything else.
So on that score, I will close this now.
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