Indiana has finally turned the race for President around. Ted Cruz decided to suspend his campaign since he lost heavily to Donald Trump who won the primary by a large margin. It seemed to surprise Trump who at his victory speech called Ted Cruz a great competitor. Earlier in the day, he had been discussing the cover of National Enquirer's expose on Cruz's father. Ted and his father defended themselves denying the story. I have not read it but I wondered at why this is an issue. It shows a man standing near Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas who apparently is thought to be Ted's father. Why it would matter is something I do not understand since he is a minister of a church group. It is never odd for ministers to try to help counsel prisoners in a jail situation. But I have not read the National Enquirer story but find it odd that Trump would want to discuss it as if it had any significance at all. Tacky. Tacky!
However, Cruz claims that it is not him. I just think it interesting that it comes up only because Ted is trying to win the nomination for the GOP. Donald should know better but alas and alack, he is like some big gossipy tattle tale himself. However, except for Stephen Colbert, the story did not get the airing that Colbert exposed tonight which I appreciated.
Thanks, Stephen.
I had stuck my neck out defending Cruz if he had been the man in the picture. I see nothing wrong with it at all. But since he does not want to take credit for being a spiritual counselor to a man accused but not proved so be it. Nobody has ever proved convincingly that Lee Harvey Oswald is the lone assassination. It is just a rush to judgement for which he claimed his own innocence. So many conspiracy theories about the assassination still fill book shelves.
Bernie Sanders defeated Hillary Clinton tonight in Indiana. He is not dropping out and hopes to have a contested convention in the Democratic party. This race is as contentious with charges of corruption and rigged set of rules to tip the nomination to the person the super delegates choose. Unfair to the voter who has definitely let his voice be heard. So what will happen? Can't say for sure yet.
I have not bothered with the Democratic debates because of Hillary's voice. Her voice is so shrill and over bearing at times that I consider it a punishment. I do not want that kind of punishment to be hoisted upon this country since I do not think we deserve that any longer. She has been in the Democratic political service role far too long as far as I am concerned. I consider her husband and wife team to be the most damaging and harmful that Americans have had to endure.
I have been very critical of Donald Trump but I prefer him to Hillary. Donald has been a very strange candidate in his bid for the office but he has had such massive acceptance, it is hard to believe. He hit some nerve by talking straight and boldly to the American public that he has achieved a unique role in modern history. He has brought people to the voting booths who had not voted at all or in recent times. They love him and his brash, saucy tone and insulting jabs.
I have never taken him seriously until he made a statement that convinced me that maybe he did actually want to win the White House after all. His comment about brokering a deal between Israel and Palestine did impress me as sincere. Generally, I think him as full of hot air as any salesman trying to make his pitch.
But I think that Hillary takes herself too seriously, thinking that she could actually follow her husband into the White House and the Oval Office. Today, she was shown trying to explain her speech about putting coal miners and coal companies out of business to a group of coal miners in West Virgina where she had to explain how she misspoke. Trump jumped on it, promising coal miners would be working again. Oh, politics is a real Hell.
It will continue to June 7 when at last the last states have their say. Looks like it will be Trump and Hillary unless Bernie sways some of the super delegates to vote for him. But the ballots are made out already and will include Cruz name on those in the remaining states so that some will no doubt vote for him even though he is out of the game. Rubio collected votes in Arizona since his name was on the ballot.
So time will tell. I will be happy when it is over but do not want to wish my life away either...
Yours Truly
Janet Fauble at home
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Monday, May 2, 2016
My Versailles
I just read a poem that has made me think I should try one of my own.
Golden lights bounce off the walls,
Green lawns glisten with wet dew,
Morning has come to the chateau,
Birds fly from tree to tree,
Singing a song of love
Butterflies wing above
Flowers gently sway
Fragrant scents linger
I feel the bee's stinger.
Scallops, shells, and stones
Glorify the ancient sea,
Home of Goddess Thetis
Fountains casting rainbows
Calling you to me,
Where I wait patiently
This is my special home,
You are my eternal soul,
While we in Heaven dwell.
We take our escape
In the woodland paths
To flee nature's wrath.
Aesop's fables created
For my son to learn
Lessons in every path's turn.
My glory is all around'
For the world to know
That I reap what I sow.
My creation to honor
My father who stole away
To silently play and pray.
His burden passed on to me
I now bravely make my own
For France, I sit upon the throne.
My chateau is open to all,
My subjects come and go,
Here my heart rests all aglow.
While I am the first,
Many others will follow,
After today is always tomorrow.
My porcelain trianon
Favorite chinois accents
In Blue and white ornaments
Paradise of creation,
Children born of love,
Destined for Heaven Above,
Patient beauty within
Full of passion and romance,
Leads me to her not by chance.
Athenais, full of grace and charm,
Poisons me with her mind,
Her potions meant to bind.
My gentle wife, my cousin,
My dearest friend waits to know
Whether to her bed I will go.
Tinkling bells ring loudly
To assure the world that I, the King
Have made her heart eagerly sing.
My Queen is pleased at last
Another child to the world will give
But sadly, only the first will live.
The potions and the charms
That Athenais used to seduce
Ended in sorrow profuse.
Grotto of Thetis, Porcelain Trianon,
Passions torn asunder must raise
A chapel worthy of Praise.
The Chinese Trianon will grow
Into the Grand Trianon, a pink marvel,
The blue and white now pink marble.
No sooner do I create perfection,
Than I must require destruction.
All that is old is replaced by new.
Until Marly at last I devise,
For my personal freedom and pleasure,
The enchantment that is my treasure.
Marly, dressed in blue and white,
Airy, spacious, open and free
Where everyone is equal to me.
The main Chateau built from the Hunting Lodge
Remains the source of government and family,
But Marly is always the retreat meant only for me.
Golden lights bounce off the walls,
Green lawns glisten with wet dew,
Morning has come to the chateau,
Birds fly from tree to tree,
Singing a song of love
Butterflies wing above
Flowers gently sway
Fragrant scents linger
I feel the bee's stinger.
Scallops, shells, and stones
Glorify the ancient sea,
Home of Goddess Thetis
Fountains casting rainbows
Calling you to me,
Where I wait patiently
This is my special home,
You are my eternal soul,
While we in Heaven dwell.
We take our escape
In the woodland paths
To flee nature's wrath.
Aesop's fables created
For my son to learn
Lessons in every path's turn.
My glory is all around'
For the world to know
That I reap what I sow.
My creation to honor
My father who stole away
To silently play and pray.
His burden passed on to me
I now bravely make my own
For France, I sit upon the throne.
My chateau is open to all,
My subjects come and go,
Here my heart rests all aglow.
While I am the first,
Many others will follow,
After today is always tomorrow.
My porcelain trianon
Favorite chinois accents
In Blue and white ornaments
Paradise of creation,
Children born of love,
Destined for Heaven Above,
Patient beauty within
Full of passion and romance,
Leads me to her not by chance.
Athenais, full of grace and charm,
Poisons me with her mind,
Her potions meant to bind.
My gentle wife, my cousin,
My dearest friend waits to know
Whether to her bed I will go.
Tinkling bells ring loudly
To assure the world that I, the King
Have made her heart eagerly sing.
My Queen is pleased at last
Another child to the world will give
But sadly, only the first will live.
The potions and the charms
That Athenais used to seduce
Ended in sorrow profuse.
Grotto of Thetis, Porcelain Trianon,
Passions torn asunder must raise
A chapel worthy of Praise.
The Chinese Trianon will grow
Into the Grand Trianon, a pink marvel,
The blue and white now pink marble.
No sooner do I create perfection,
Than I must require destruction.
All that is old is replaced by new.
Until Marly at last I devise,
For my personal freedom and pleasure,
The enchantment that is my treasure.
Marly, dressed in blue and white,
Airy, spacious, open and free
Where everyone is equal to me.
The main Chateau built from the Hunting Lodge
Remains the source of government and family,
But Marly is always the retreat meant only for me.
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Moments in this Lifetime
This is actually a followup to the previous post in which I am explaining how a video brought back all my memories of a time when I was in the person of Alexander the Great. I did mention in the previous post about the lack of joy in Alexander's life so that I thought I should write about this lifetime's experiences which have given me great happiness.
My first great happiness is probably in grade school whenever I fell in and out of love with a variety of boyfriends. Love is always the same in its feeling within a person. It gives one the greatest happiness and joy no matter whether it is requited or not. It is the act of falling in love and loving to be in love that impresses me more than anything else does. It is a heady feeling, a lightness of spirit, a joy that causes one to tingle when one spies the beloved one, that makes one have butterflies in the stomach, fearing that one will say something stupid, and all the other crazy things that infatuation, being in love does to one. One feels like doing hand springs, dancing, twirling round and round, and just drifting into a dream fantasy about the loved one. It is a form of craziness that nearly every child experiences at one time or the other, and I feel sorry for those who say that they never have known it.
I had beautiful baby teeth, but my permanent teeth were big and parted in the center, so that I developed a deep complex about my appearance during my adolescent years. I did not see myself as others saw me, but I saw only my two front teeth. I disliked them. I became shy at last. I had always been bold, forward, and aggressive, but between my two front teeth and my changing into womanhood with a period, I withdrew instead of staying outgoing, warm, and friendly. I actually became a bit shy and reserved. Although when working at the drug store, I was still as open, honest, and friendly as I had ever been as a child. I always forgot myself so that I did just naturally open to customers. I am a people lover, and especially love to sell products to them.
But I never lacked for having a boyfriend to dream about, but never to really have. In my younger years, I had been able to have many boyfriends who liked me and with whom I played holding hands and walking each other home from school. I was a secure little girl in those days, but alas and alack, adolescent poses new and different problems.
So I did not know true love until I reached 20 where finally I fell in love, knew the love of a man, and ended brokenhearted because we were so far apart in too many ways to ever marry one another. But that love is one I never forget, always hold dear, and still thank in so many ways now that I have lived long enough to know that sweet love is always the BEST! So that is an emotion that I can never forget! I still remember moments from that time in my life when the Music Man was the cause for hearing the tune Til There Was You! So True for me...Love was all around, but I never knew it at all, until there was YOU!
I had other loves after that first best love, but none that will ever be as memorable no matter what. I always found some man in my life to love for a short time, and nearly would marry, but better sense, fear, or just a guardian angel on hand to prevent it, who knows, I did not marry any of them. But for a time I fancied myself in love again, as love seems easy to know with certain kinds of men, and managed to escape the marriage inevitably that follows. Why is that ? Me? Them? Or just the realization that marriage is too long a time period to be locked in with any one person. I always thought that if this one did not work out, it was not meant to be. After now realizing that each may be related to past lifetimes, I view the involvement at an entirely different level than I had when ensnared in the romance of each person.
Usually, it is my education, or intelligence that seems to be the reason or cause that I did not finally tie the knot. I was told by one that while I am educated and intelligent, I did not lord it over him, but the very fact that he mentioned it told me that it had mattered to him. Men often use that as the excuse to be through with a woman, or the very cause to like that woman. It varies from man to man and woman to woman. In my case, it did not matter that much to me. Most relationships are based upon sex more than intelligence as it turns out. If he found me attractive romantically and sexually, he stayed with me. It was not my mind that he was attracted to or my cooking talents. Actually, today, cooking might be a good cause to take me as a wife, but not when I was young. I was pretty dismal at both cooking and housekeeping.
So except for a spiritual experience in which I was seeking my soul mate, and managed to find Heaven in Sacramento when I went to see Governor Brown in person, I have only those in love experiences as great highs in my life. But finding perfect love is the greatest joy I have ever enjoyed and probably will ever know. I always give Jerry Brown credit for his role in the moment I had Heavenly love envelope me totally while watching him at a special assembly. I still recall and relish that moment most of all. Again, younger than springtime, I was in love, a love like no other. I really was in st. Paul's Perfect Love definition of which he tells. NO jealousy, no fear, no doubt, Perfect Heaven! Love is all around for certain! I still love that vibration of love better than any other I have experienced.
I have achieved hope's desires, and known satisfaction through winning a prize, being accepted in a social circle, achieving scholastic honors, being recognized by my colleagues for works done, and have had satisfaction in most of those events. But thrills are nothing in comparison to a young prince riding a horse down a street, waving his chapeau to the crowd, inhaling a great intake of air when his horse rises into the air, and then feeling the joy rush to his head as he realizes he is loved and admired by his subjects. I always remember that moment in Louis XIV who truly loved and relished his role as a young prince for the nation of France. I doubt that anything anywhere will ever surpass that, as the motto means No equal anywhere. Nothing will ever diminish that joy in the heart of that young prince of Navarre and France.
So for those reasons, I decided to look back at the great moments in my life which could be relived in some future time to know who I am now and why it is that maybe I am to be reborn again and again if that is what all these spiritual journeys prove. I do know my own life in each lifetime, and it is a lesson learned to have to realize the difference between fame and unknown. Each has its own rewards and punishments. My mother once asked me, had you ever been a woman in a past life? Well, I have not dredge that person up if it is so, but rather offhandedly I say why of course. I have no memory of any former lifetime where I have actually learned that I had been. My earliest memory is of being a hunter in the day of cromagnon man, and I recall that experience as the most fearful experience that I had had. Another life also revealed and exposed fear to me, and in both cases, the cause of fear is animals. In cromagnon man, it was of a saber toothed tiger in which I can see see those huge teeth, and then of a boar rushing through the dense forest area. In the person of Genghis Khan, I did experience fear when a wall of war elephants came charging at me and my army. That was seriously frightful. There is nothing more frightening than wild elephants with intent to kill. So I have known many emotions in each of these men of the past. No, no woman has come up to me despite my being a woman now. I contemplate what all this means.
My first great happiness is probably in grade school whenever I fell in and out of love with a variety of boyfriends. Love is always the same in its feeling within a person. It gives one the greatest happiness and joy no matter whether it is requited or not. It is the act of falling in love and loving to be in love that impresses me more than anything else does. It is a heady feeling, a lightness of spirit, a joy that causes one to tingle when one spies the beloved one, that makes one have butterflies in the stomach, fearing that one will say something stupid, and all the other crazy things that infatuation, being in love does to one. One feels like doing hand springs, dancing, twirling round and round, and just drifting into a dream fantasy about the loved one. It is a form of craziness that nearly every child experiences at one time or the other, and I feel sorry for those who say that they never have known it.
I had beautiful baby teeth, but my permanent teeth were big and parted in the center, so that I developed a deep complex about my appearance during my adolescent years. I did not see myself as others saw me, but I saw only my two front teeth. I disliked them. I became shy at last. I had always been bold, forward, and aggressive, but between my two front teeth and my changing into womanhood with a period, I withdrew instead of staying outgoing, warm, and friendly. I actually became a bit shy and reserved. Although when working at the drug store, I was still as open, honest, and friendly as I had ever been as a child. I always forgot myself so that I did just naturally open to customers. I am a people lover, and especially love to sell products to them.
But I never lacked for having a boyfriend to dream about, but never to really have. In my younger years, I had been able to have many boyfriends who liked me and with whom I played holding hands and walking each other home from school. I was a secure little girl in those days, but alas and alack, adolescent poses new and different problems.
So I did not know true love until I reached 20 where finally I fell in love, knew the love of a man, and ended brokenhearted because we were so far apart in too many ways to ever marry one another. But that love is one I never forget, always hold dear, and still thank in so many ways now that I have lived long enough to know that sweet love is always the BEST! So that is an emotion that I can never forget! I still remember moments from that time in my life when the Music Man was the cause for hearing the tune Til There Was You! So True for me...Love was all around, but I never knew it at all, until there was YOU!
I had other loves after that first best love, but none that will ever be as memorable no matter what. I always found some man in my life to love for a short time, and nearly would marry, but better sense, fear, or just a guardian angel on hand to prevent it, who knows, I did not marry any of them. But for a time I fancied myself in love again, as love seems easy to know with certain kinds of men, and managed to escape the marriage inevitably that follows. Why is that ? Me? Them? Or just the realization that marriage is too long a time period to be locked in with any one person. I always thought that if this one did not work out, it was not meant to be. After now realizing that each may be related to past lifetimes, I view the involvement at an entirely different level than I had when ensnared in the romance of each person.
Usually, it is my education, or intelligence that seems to be the reason or cause that I did not finally tie the knot. I was told by one that while I am educated and intelligent, I did not lord it over him, but the very fact that he mentioned it told me that it had mattered to him. Men often use that as the excuse to be through with a woman, or the very cause to like that woman. It varies from man to man and woman to woman. In my case, it did not matter that much to me. Most relationships are based upon sex more than intelligence as it turns out. If he found me attractive romantically and sexually, he stayed with me. It was not my mind that he was attracted to or my cooking talents. Actually, today, cooking might be a good cause to take me as a wife, but not when I was young. I was pretty dismal at both cooking and housekeeping.
So except for a spiritual experience in which I was seeking my soul mate, and managed to find Heaven in Sacramento when I went to see Governor Brown in person, I have only those in love experiences as great highs in my life. But finding perfect love is the greatest joy I have ever enjoyed and probably will ever know. I always give Jerry Brown credit for his role in the moment I had Heavenly love envelope me totally while watching him at a special assembly. I still recall and relish that moment most of all. Again, younger than springtime, I was in love, a love like no other. I really was in st. Paul's Perfect Love definition of which he tells. NO jealousy, no fear, no doubt, Perfect Heaven! Love is all around for certain! I still love that vibration of love better than any other I have experienced.
I have achieved hope's desires, and known satisfaction through winning a prize, being accepted in a social circle, achieving scholastic honors, being recognized by my colleagues for works done, and have had satisfaction in most of those events. But thrills are nothing in comparison to a young prince riding a horse down a street, waving his chapeau to the crowd, inhaling a great intake of air when his horse rises into the air, and then feeling the joy rush to his head as he realizes he is loved and admired by his subjects. I always remember that moment in Louis XIV who truly loved and relished his role as a young prince for the nation of France. I doubt that anything anywhere will ever surpass that, as the motto means No equal anywhere. Nothing will ever diminish that joy in the heart of that young prince of Navarre and France.
So for those reasons, I decided to look back at the great moments in my life which could be relived in some future time to know who I am now and why it is that maybe I am to be reborn again and again if that is what all these spiritual journeys prove. I do know my own life in each lifetime, and it is a lesson learned to have to realize the difference between fame and unknown. Each has its own rewards and punishments. My mother once asked me, had you ever been a woman in a past life? Well, I have not dredge that person up if it is so, but rather offhandedly I say why of course. I have no memory of any former lifetime where I have actually learned that I had been. My earliest memory is of being a hunter in the day of cromagnon man, and I recall that experience as the most fearful experience that I had had. Another life also revealed and exposed fear to me, and in both cases, the cause of fear is animals. In cromagnon man, it was of a saber toothed tiger in which I can see see those huge teeth, and then of a boar rushing through the dense forest area. In the person of Genghis Khan, I did experience fear when a wall of war elephants came charging at me and my army. That was seriously frightful. There is nothing more frightening than wild elephants with intent to kill. So I have known many emotions in each of these men of the past. No, no woman has come up to me despite my being a woman now. I contemplate what all this means.
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Italian Documentary on Alexander
I watched an Italian documentary video featuring Alexander the Great tonight. Since it was in Italian, I simply watched the photography without understanding any but a few words in Italian. I did like the actor who portrayed Alexander as he was credible. The child Alexander was not really very credible but it did not matter. It was interesting because some scenes immediately took me back into my recollections of the life of Alexander that I had learned while in a self hypnotic trance session.
I recalled many scenes which are not part of the video but which I had undergone, and as I was explaining to myself why it was that there had been little joy in any of that travail in 4 BC it dawned on me what has happened in the course of passing centuries going from one to another, learning which one's do bring joy and happiness, which bring only pain and anguish, etc. to realize how lucky I am to be in this century living the lifestyle that we are so fortunate to enjoy. So in the end, it was a good experience to see the film and reflect back upon all the events that I had relived in the person of Alexander.
In the end, I decided that I love myself very much after all, a nice thing to conclude after thinking this through. So for now, I will go to bed, and get a good night's sleep.
I did get a good night's sleep and woke from a very strange dream about a woman who was a musician, a maestro. That is all I can recall for now but it made me wonder at her....
After thinking about all my experiences years ago when I lived with my parents on Via del Palacio, I realized how important it has been for me to learn of these former experiences that I encountered while trying to learn who am I in previous times. I have a deeper appreciation of the inner life now than even when I woke up from my trances to realize and remember all that I had experienced then. I admit at first I was a bit over taken by them since I knew so little about any of them. It is a very difficult thing to realize that one has truly lived in a different time period under a different name and role in life than the one that one is in at present in this waking world. It does take a long time to fully understand all of this, as it is a relatively little known and little discussed aspect of our lives.
Today while showering I realized how important it is to me to know that all the circumstances of the present life actually led up to this kind of self discovery. I admit that people who are too wrapped in themselves are often annoying and of little use to anyone else in society. In truth, the social order is such that whether we realize it or not, we interact with others to benefit not only ourselves but all of society as a whole. Any one person is but a single cog in the entire framework of society, even the disabled and non functioning provide employment and opportunity for the able and fully functioning when we work to take care of one another. So society functions in strange ways with one another.
The problem with my self discovery is that the people who I have encountered in my soul searching are men of significant importance to the world at large so that it appears grandiose and delusional for anyone anywhere to ever assume that they could have been that person in the past life. I always struggled with this problem since I wan not that overwhelmed by their historical importance, having been a part of the life in which they had lived to know them that well. Only time has made me see the truth of each of them to their times and to today's times.
At this point in time, I can make a case for each one of them and their relevance to today, but it took me a long time to learn and know them both from a historical point as well as from the upclose and personal way in which I actually relived aspects of their lives. So the documentary last night made me realize one thing about Alexander that had always puzzled me until I realized why and it made me so happy to realize that it is all behind me, lives in the past, but is contained in my memory wherever that may be, brain or solar plexus, and that today I lead and live an entirely different kind of lifestyle.
I had never taken any pleasure or joy in Alexander except for a few fleeting moments. I realized finally why. I had had joy in the reliving of Louis XIV, probably more joy and pleasure than in any other lifetime, including this one, (except for a few rare moments in this that are especially beautiful) but I had never felt happiness or pleasure in reliving Alexander. His life is not one of great ecstasy or beauty, but one of travail, hard work, constant movement, and one battle after another. One cannot find joy or pleasure in riding horseback at breakneck speeds, at marching with an army, and of constantly climbing walls, dragging war weapons, and managing and manipulating an army of men who have to be fed, clothed, and trained repeatedly over and over again. I had one too many mountain climbs, river crossings, and wounded men to tend to, dead men to bury, and cities to build to fully enjoy any of it. No wonder that I found little joy there. To realize that most of my incarnated lives is that of a warrior is a very wearisome recognition....no wonder I said no more when confronted with the aspect of Genghis Khan too. I said no more at this time, and I have not delved into it.
So for that reason alone, I am grateful for this lifetime to learn this and to appreciate my place in the scheme of life at the moment. I deserved to rest in peace for some time, and that is how this lifetime has been....
a nice long restful peaceful time with only mountain climbing to unnerve me again!
Do you suppose that I should be so bold to share this except in this blog? Not on your life! It will stay here until I decide otherwise. At this point, I am a bit too candid probably for anyone to read and understand. However, I have not ever forgotten that were it not for Taylor Caldwell and Jess Stearn I would not be presently aware of myself even. But because of the fact that I have learned how people who have become attached to famous personalities react , I have learned to keep my own counsel even in posts such as these.
Saturday, April 16, 2016
I am rethinking this now that I have announced that I will not share it. I do not intend to share it but I do see that I have not really decided whether these soul's journeys are evidence of reincarnation or of having a key to the spiritual world where I can unlock some soul's lives to relive. Relive sounds as though only I could do such a thing, and I am a bit protective about it all for that reason. There is no doubt in my mind that I did return to a soul's place where I entered the soul body of that person and actually relived moments in that entity's life time. I do believe that an all knowing God can do just that with each one of us, knowing moments apparently that are of value to know. I do not attempt to explain this in any way except to say that all material objects are seen as in the moment of the imprint of the soul to make this such that I can recall it or live it through that given entity. It was clothing and landmarks that give identity to each person. In Alexander's case, I actually saw so many of his costumes, or armor, what ever it is that you want to call a uniform, a cuirass, or a helmet, but those are the things that helped to identify him as well as the events that I found myself in, such as the speech before the battle of Issus. I did not know it was Issus until I found a reference to it in a book by Peter Green, but his description matched my memory of looking down from a mountain top to the valley below.
I suspect that it is reincarnation of my soul. I accept it that way since my original preface or question and been who am I? So I finally found myself. But being Alexander the Great, Louis XIV, Genghis Khan, and George Washington is a really tough dose for anyone to swallow to have been any one of them, much less all four, and a few more that I deliberately do not mention. One has led me to believe that I landed in a place of all souls, and could be an entity able to slip into each one's identity so that makes it even more interesting to me. god is All. True God lives in each and every one of us, but just as a river has tributaries, a tree has many branches, a single potato plant has many spuds, on and on, there are many possible reasons as to why this happened to me, and that I am a part of all, just as we each are in our own individual way. I daresay that I do not relish the idea of anyone being able to assume my physical body today to know how I feel inside and out, but that that privilege is only permitted for me alone to know, no matter how much like others who have the same emotions, fears, hopes,dreams, ambitions, and private secret places within.
So if my soul is each one of these warriors I can and do accept it, and if I am only a special person who can slip in and out of other men's lives, then I honestly must admit that I will try to preserve their right to privacy by not giving away too many inner secrets that I have uncovered. I did speak out about it much too soon, and was a bit too open and honest in my explanations. Alexander is a man who loved women, and I can testify to that...I do not think that I need go any further. I have received enough inordinate protests form people who would like to think otherwise. That is their problem. I know better than to give them any satisfaction about that.
George Washington is the sweetest man imaginable, Nobody can ever know how deep his love for this country really had been except through eye witnesses who testified to it,and to my recollection of it. I came to really love and respect George more than anyone can know, and I, in fact, think that most Americans take this great nation's history too much for granted. It is a nation whereby responsible citizens can decided laws for themselves, without the father king administering to them. We forget too often at what cost it is that this was given to this century's beneficiaries.
I recalled many scenes which are not part of the video but which I had undergone, and as I was explaining to myself why it was that there had been little joy in any of that travail in 4 BC it dawned on me what has happened in the course of passing centuries going from one to another, learning which one's do bring joy and happiness, which bring only pain and anguish, etc. to realize how lucky I am to be in this century living the lifestyle that we are so fortunate to enjoy. So in the end, it was a good experience to see the film and reflect back upon all the events that I had relived in the person of Alexander.
In the end, I decided that I love myself very much after all, a nice thing to conclude after thinking this through. So for now, I will go to bed, and get a good night's sleep.
I did get a good night's sleep and woke from a very strange dream about a woman who was a musician, a maestro. That is all I can recall for now but it made me wonder at her....
After thinking about all my experiences years ago when I lived with my parents on Via del Palacio, I realized how important it has been for me to learn of these former experiences that I encountered while trying to learn who am I in previous times. I have a deeper appreciation of the inner life now than even when I woke up from my trances to realize and remember all that I had experienced then. I admit at first I was a bit over taken by them since I knew so little about any of them. It is a very difficult thing to realize that one has truly lived in a different time period under a different name and role in life than the one that one is in at present in this waking world. It does take a long time to fully understand all of this, as it is a relatively little known and little discussed aspect of our lives.
Today while showering I realized how important it is to me to know that all the circumstances of the present life actually led up to this kind of self discovery. I admit that people who are too wrapped in themselves are often annoying and of little use to anyone else in society. In truth, the social order is such that whether we realize it or not, we interact with others to benefit not only ourselves but all of society as a whole. Any one person is but a single cog in the entire framework of society, even the disabled and non functioning provide employment and opportunity for the able and fully functioning when we work to take care of one another. So society functions in strange ways with one another.
The problem with my self discovery is that the people who I have encountered in my soul searching are men of significant importance to the world at large so that it appears grandiose and delusional for anyone anywhere to ever assume that they could have been that person in the past life. I always struggled with this problem since I wan not that overwhelmed by their historical importance, having been a part of the life in which they had lived to know them that well. Only time has made me see the truth of each of them to their times and to today's times.
At this point in time, I can make a case for each one of them and their relevance to today, but it took me a long time to learn and know them both from a historical point as well as from the upclose and personal way in which I actually relived aspects of their lives. So the documentary last night made me realize one thing about Alexander that had always puzzled me until I realized why and it made me so happy to realize that it is all behind me, lives in the past, but is contained in my memory wherever that may be, brain or solar plexus, and that today I lead and live an entirely different kind of lifestyle.
I had never taken any pleasure or joy in Alexander except for a few fleeting moments. I realized finally why. I had had joy in the reliving of Louis XIV, probably more joy and pleasure than in any other lifetime, including this one, (except for a few rare moments in this that are especially beautiful) but I had never felt happiness or pleasure in reliving Alexander. His life is not one of great ecstasy or beauty, but one of travail, hard work, constant movement, and one battle after another. One cannot find joy or pleasure in riding horseback at breakneck speeds, at marching with an army, and of constantly climbing walls, dragging war weapons, and managing and manipulating an army of men who have to be fed, clothed, and trained repeatedly over and over again. I had one too many mountain climbs, river crossings, and wounded men to tend to, dead men to bury, and cities to build to fully enjoy any of it. No wonder that I found little joy there. To realize that most of my incarnated lives is that of a warrior is a very wearisome recognition....no wonder I said no more when confronted with the aspect of Genghis Khan too. I said no more at this time, and I have not delved into it.
So for that reason alone, I am grateful for this lifetime to learn this and to appreciate my place in the scheme of life at the moment. I deserved to rest in peace for some time, and that is how this lifetime has been....
a nice long restful peaceful time with only mountain climbing to unnerve me again!
Do you suppose that I should be so bold to share this except in this blog? Not on your life! It will stay here until I decide otherwise. At this point, I am a bit too candid probably for anyone to read and understand. However, I have not ever forgotten that were it not for Taylor Caldwell and Jess Stearn I would not be presently aware of myself even. But because of the fact that I have learned how people who have become attached to famous personalities react , I have learned to keep my own counsel even in posts such as these.
Saturday, April 16, 2016
I am rethinking this now that I have announced that I will not share it. I do not intend to share it but I do see that I have not really decided whether these soul's journeys are evidence of reincarnation or of having a key to the spiritual world where I can unlock some soul's lives to relive. Relive sounds as though only I could do such a thing, and I am a bit protective about it all for that reason. There is no doubt in my mind that I did return to a soul's place where I entered the soul body of that person and actually relived moments in that entity's life time. I do believe that an all knowing God can do just that with each one of us, knowing moments apparently that are of value to know. I do not attempt to explain this in any way except to say that all material objects are seen as in the moment of the imprint of the soul to make this such that I can recall it or live it through that given entity. It was clothing and landmarks that give identity to each person. In Alexander's case, I actually saw so many of his costumes, or armor, what ever it is that you want to call a uniform, a cuirass, or a helmet, but those are the things that helped to identify him as well as the events that I found myself in, such as the speech before the battle of Issus. I did not know it was Issus until I found a reference to it in a book by Peter Green, but his description matched my memory of looking down from a mountain top to the valley below.
I suspect that it is reincarnation of my soul. I accept it that way since my original preface or question and been who am I? So I finally found myself. But being Alexander the Great, Louis XIV, Genghis Khan, and George Washington is a really tough dose for anyone to swallow to have been any one of them, much less all four, and a few more that I deliberately do not mention. One has led me to believe that I landed in a place of all souls, and could be an entity able to slip into each one's identity so that makes it even more interesting to me. god is All. True God lives in each and every one of us, but just as a river has tributaries, a tree has many branches, a single potato plant has many spuds, on and on, there are many possible reasons as to why this happened to me, and that I am a part of all, just as we each are in our own individual way. I daresay that I do not relish the idea of anyone being able to assume my physical body today to know how I feel inside and out, but that that privilege is only permitted for me alone to know, no matter how much like others who have the same emotions, fears, hopes,dreams, ambitions, and private secret places within.
So if my soul is each one of these warriors I can and do accept it, and if I am only a special person who can slip in and out of other men's lives, then I honestly must admit that I will try to preserve their right to privacy by not giving away too many inner secrets that I have uncovered. I did speak out about it much too soon, and was a bit too open and honest in my explanations. Alexander is a man who loved women, and I can testify to that...I do not think that I need go any further. I have received enough inordinate protests form people who would like to think otherwise. That is their problem. I know better than to give them any satisfaction about that.
George Washington is the sweetest man imaginable, Nobody can ever know how deep his love for this country really had been except through eye witnesses who testified to it,and to my recollection of it. I came to really love and respect George more than anyone can know, and I, in fact, think that most Americans take this great nation's history too much for granted. It is a nation whereby responsible citizens can decided laws for themselves, without the father king administering to them. We forget too often at what cost it is that this was given to this century's beneficiaries.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
Catching Cold in the Middle of a Heat Wave
One night this past week, it was not hot. In fact, it turned chilly, and for some asinine reason, I developed a sore throat. A sore throat is always the first sign of a chest cold. It has since gone to my lungs so now I am hacking as well as nursing the sore throat.
I finally went to Winco last night to get some spray for my throat, lozenges, and listerine. I have been up three nights in a row hour after hour struggling with this problem. Last night, I remembered to put a double pillow on to life my head and my chest to allow drainage. I did sleep better. A trick I learned at Monticello about Tom Jefferson from a Mrs. Sully. I have often had to remember that to help get well when I have chest colds, and a lot of mucous draining from my sinuses. It does help. So a trip to Monticello was worth that much. Jefferson supposedly slept all night sitting up in bed.
Very uncomfortable to say the least but it is important to know.
I finally went to Winco last night to get some spray for my throat, lozenges, and listerine. I have been up three nights in a row hour after hour struggling with this problem. Last night, I remembered to put a double pillow on to life my head and my chest to allow drainage. I did sleep better. A trick I learned at Monticello about Tom Jefferson from a Mrs. Sully. I have often had to remember that to help get well when I have chest colds, and a lot of mucous draining from my sinuses. It does help. So a trip to Monticello was worth that much. Jefferson supposedly slept all night sitting up in bed.
Very uncomfortable to say the least but it is important to know.
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Queen Marie Therese
I have been thinking about another novel to write but I need to learn more about the subject than I already know. I have begun to think of a novel featuring Queen Marie Therese.
I have been trying to think how she would describe her life as Queen so I am mulling over the idea.
It is a good thing that I have begun to think about this prospect as an interesting book to write. I have been working on it mentally, thinking about her life, so that I did have to look in Wikipedia to learn something about her mother. I was surprised to learn that she had died when Marie Therese was 6 years old. That is harsh for a small girl to have to grow up without her mother. The king had lost his father at age 5 so it is an interesting coincidence. She and the king are double first cousins since her mother had been the sister of Louis XIII, named Elizabeth of France.
Very fascinating for me to think about her side of the story and to imagine her days as the wife of the King. So it finally dawned on me how lucky I have been to be able to go back into that time period to learn of this life that I had lived in that time period. I am so happy that I did finally realize how fortunate for me to have the happy occasion to see all of the life at court then, even if it is through the king's skin, feelings, and senses. In my imagination, I am writing the queen's story of her life with him which is essentially most all of her life. It is rather exciting way to describe the life at court for her. And of course, Louis is a kind and gentle lover to her.
I wrote the last two paragraphs last night early in the morning so that it is a bit off the cuff. I lay in bed writing in my head about her childhood at the harsh Spanish court without a mother to guide her. She spent most of her life at the French court after she married the King in a proxy marriage. She never did learn to speak French well but had to communicate with only her Spanish speaking attendants. Of course, Queen Anne spoke Spanish fluently as did her husband, but few in the court did other than her own entourage.
Because she is given so little attention by biographers, historians, and journalists, she is seen only on formal occasions when she must make personal appearances with the King. She travels with him all the time but it appears that sensationalists want to make more of the King's affairs with his mistresses rather than with her. She bore him 6 children, of whom only one survived to reach maturity. I have a theory on that now but am going to have to follow along the timeline to see how correct I probably am about this theory. Since most of her children except for the Dauphin who is essentially healthy, it would appear that the aphrodisiacs that Madame de Montespan fed to the King may have had a dire effect upon the children that the king begat with the Queen. His children with Montespan also suffered unusual defects, and I am certain that all this could be traced back to the sorceress who sold these to the Mistress Montespan.
One thing that most forget about the Queen is that she is given all the deference that she is due, and her husband Louis XIV insisted upon it. Never did she suffer anything by the court in the way of outward humiliation towards her title and her person. She was the King's first cousin twice round, both by his mother and his father. Elizabeth, sister of Louis XIII, was the Queen to the King of Spain, who is likewise the brother to Queen Anne, Louis's mother.
I find it fascinating to view the court through the young Queen's innocent and trusting eyes. I am seriously contemplating telling her story but I feel a need to go to France once again to do some serious study about this now. My first trip had been to be certain that a wall that I saw there was in the form that I had seen it. That proved true as I was confident that it would. One nice thing about walls...they last for centuries.
This era is one of the most fascinating in terms of manpower that did perform the most amazing feats in construction, in tapestries, in fashions, in artwork, in literary productions, in music, in gardening, in so many major accomplishments that it may be fun to explore some of these achievements in this novel. It is a task but maybe I can pull it off. Just thinking about it aloud!
I have been trying to think how she would describe her life as Queen so I am mulling over the idea.
It is a good thing that I have begun to think about this prospect as an interesting book to write. I have been working on it mentally, thinking about her life, so that I did have to look in Wikipedia to learn something about her mother. I was surprised to learn that she had died when Marie Therese was 6 years old. That is harsh for a small girl to have to grow up without her mother. The king had lost his father at age 5 so it is an interesting coincidence. She and the king are double first cousins since her mother had been the sister of Louis XIII, named Elizabeth of France.
Very fascinating for me to think about her side of the story and to imagine her days as the wife of the King. So it finally dawned on me how lucky I have been to be able to go back into that time period to learn of this life that I had lived in that time period. I am so happy that I did finally realize how fortunate for me to have the happy occasion to see all of the life at court then, even if it is through the king's skin, feelings, and senses. In my imagination, I am writing the queen's story of her life with him which is essentially most all of her life. It is rather exciting way to describe the life at court for her. And of course, Louis is a kind and gentle lover to her.
I wrote the last two paragraphs last night early in the morning so that it is a bit off the cuff. I lay in bed writing in my head about her childhood at the harsh Spanish court without a mother to guide her. She spent most of her life at the French court after she married the King in a proxy marriage. She never did learn to speak French well but had to communicate with only her Spanish speaking attendants. Of course, Queen Anne spoke Spanish fluently as did her husband, but few in the court did other than her own entourage.
Because she is given so little attention by biographers, historians, and journalists, she is seen only on formal occasions when she must make personal appearances with the King. She travels with him all the time but it appears that sensationalists want to make more of the King's affairs with his mistresses rather than with her. She bore him 6 children, of whom only one survived to reach maturity. I have a theory on that now but am going to have to follow along the timeline to see how correct I probably am about this theory. Since most of her children except for the Dauphin who is essentially healthy, it would appear that the aphrodisiacs that Madame de Montespan fed to the King may have had a dire effect upon the children that the king begat with the Queen. His children with Montespan also suffered unusual defects, and I am certain that all this could be traced back to the sorceress who sold these to the Mistress Montespan.
One thing that most forget about the Queen is that she is given all the deference that she is due, and her husband Louis XIV insisted upon it. Never did she suffer anything by the court in the way of outward humiliation towards her title and her person. She was the King's first cousin twice round, both by his mother and his father. Elizabeth, sister of Louis XIII, was the Queen to the King of Spain, who is likewise the brother to Queen Anne, Louis's mother.
I find it fascinating to view the court through the young Queen's innocent and trusting eyes. I am seriously contemplating telling her story but I feel a need to go to France once again to do some serious study about this now. My first trip had been to be certain that a wall that I saw there was in the form that I had seen it. That proved true as I was confident that it would. One nice thing about walls...they last for centuries.
This era is one of the most fascinating in terms of manpower that did perform the most amazing feats in construction, in tapestries, in fashions, in artwork, in literary productions, in music, in gardening, in so many major accomplishments that it may be fun to explore some of these achievements in this novel. It is a task but maybe I can pull it off. Just thinking about it aloud!
Thursday, February 11, 2016
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