Reincarnation Studies

I have discussed my experiences in past lifetimes on this blog many times.  I even published some of my drawings that are related to the moment that I learned of the details in a past lifetime, which granted are childish, but what the heck, the idea was to capture the memory as best I could to refresh my memory.  Being hypersensitive to all my ideas being so easily used by others I am very careful about how I draw and sketch as well as express the experience in words.  Having learned how one can be paid per word, I am careful to use my words carefully as well. I know that copy and paste, plagiarism, and screen shots now make it possible for any thought to be used by another as if it were their own. Yahoo alone taught me how easy it is to switch names on any piece written in a discussion group.  One can be accused of saying someone's  statements that one did not make at all, and I frankly do not appreciate that problem that is so pervasive on the internet.  I do not use yahoo discussion groups any longer, except to read and respond.

So on that note, to review my past lifetime experiences, they involve historical men of renown, and an original man who I call cromagnon man without really knowing that that first incarnation can be truly identified in any way at all, except that I lived in the days of saber toothed tigers, and crashing boars, in a jungle atmosphere of extreme vegetation growth.  I saw myself in my caucasian status as a male figure who is a hunter, who faced both saber toothed tigers, and crashing boars, and that is about all I recalled from that time period.  Later, I learned of various personalities of historical significance which dumbfounded me no end to understand how I could have lived as so many different men, but the soul is the answer and I was able to learn details about those men that has been verified to my satisfaction that my memories are accurate and correct in many respects, some of which can be proved even yet, but other details too personal for anyone but me to know.  Why it is that I am female today with only spiritual powers to make me understand all this is something I cannot fully explain except that it leaves me off the hook to be held responsible for anything of any real historical merit now.  Even if significant people today did use me as a model, I cannot be held responsible for anything that they have done as a result of that. They made that decision for themselves.

I do not intend to regurgitate each and every lifetime in this discussion with myself right now, but I have decided to record what happened yesterday to explain why I am writing this now.

I have been contemplating the end of my life now, when it will  happen, and how I will live until the time when it does happen.  I have to plan for the next few years of my life.  I could live to be 100 but I frankly doubt it. I have always thought it will be probably be into my 80's but it could be in the 90's if I am as strong as my dad or grandmother who both lived into their 90's.  I do not want to ever go into a nursing home, so I will probably have some trouble as I get older finding the right housing situation. I am still thinking of a mobile home if necessary.

But because of one former lifetime I have always thought that it was to let me know how long I might have, and I thought it could be the mid 80's.  So yesterday, I inquired into the lifetime of the person who I believe may be a clue to number of years it will be until I die.  The reason for this is that one evening I was standing outdoors watching a swirling light in the sky that was directly over our neighborhood when I lived in Scottsdale on Palacio.  I watched this wing like formation circle round and round and came indoors to notice a tiny red spot on my leg directly beneath my knee.  I did associate it with the person of the past who I had read had some  problem with his leg after falling off a horse some 15 years before his final demise. I got it into my head that I had at least 15 years to live which would be in my mid 80's at that time.  So I wanted to learn more about his life yesterday to see if it would shed any light on me now.  I did learn a lot as I was able to see him on horseback and learned how it is that he did fall off the horse to get the injury.  It was an interesting vision to say the least, and then I was told that all my nose bleeding problem had been due to that person's life.  It made sense to me, and I considered another thing, which is the wrought iron trim that my dad had bought for the patio and gate at the house on Palacio.  One never knows what will trigger something but the nose bleeding actually began after I had taken some natural herbs for mild depression.  I always associate those together too, and so I stopped the use of the herb.  But the nosebleeds only increased and were often very bad.  Many different answers to that but fortunately, since I have moved into another city, I have had no problem here but on two occasions which were both mild, and one one intense.  Pray that they do not return ever again.  I hope.



Blood clots are the answer or key to the problem.

One additional thing I will add since i have revised and edited this considerably.  I have learned that famous people are often studied by very possessive and strange people.  I use only my inner knowledge as the guide for me now to understand any and all of them, and leave it up to the historians and biographers to write their own tales for their own reasons.  I do not want to ever get into a debate with anyone on any of the details that I know have convinced me beyond any doubt that I am who I say that I am, and have been.  This mortal flesh will pass but the soul will survive again for all eternity, however long that is, for it is different in man's lifespan than in actual infinity.  The soul is a constant living entity in its own right, existing in both flesh multiple times, and in spirit, eternally.  Each and every soul is an intelligence quality that surpasses man's understanding.

But because again, I am protecting myself in even this blog post, I can only say so much at this time in the mindset that I am in right now.

  18,30,40,48,52   PB09
                                              12, 27,29,43,68  PB01.
                                              15,20,29,31, 40  PB01   29, 40  01pb
                                              48,49,57,62,69.  PB19
                                              30,32,42,56,57   PB11
                                              20,31,56,60,64   PB02    20, 31, 56
                                              04,54,56,62,63   PB10    56, 62
                                              09,20,25,47,68   PB07    20
                                              02,12,17,20,65   PB17
                                              07,16,25,50,53   PB15    25
                                              04,26,32,55,64   PB18    04, 32, 64
                                              14,22,37,45,66   PB05
                                              17,40,41,46,69   PB06    40, 69
                                               37,47,50,52,57  PB21    37, 47, 50, 57
                                               16,29,53,58,69  PB21    16, 53, 69  21pb
                                               02,06,47,66,67  PB02    47, 66, 02pb
                                               14,18,19,32,64  PB09    14, 18, 32,64,09pb
                                               13,27,33,47,68  PB13    47, 68
                                               07,10,16,46,56  PB01    07, 16, 46, 56,01pb
                                               02,14,19,30,62  PB22    02,14, 19, 62
                                               09,10,32,42,55  PB06    09,10, 32, 55 06pb
                                               28,30,41,59,68  PB10    30,41,68  10pb
                                               16,38,55,63,67  PB25    16, 55, 63,67
                                               27,40,44,59,65  PB20    27, 40, 59, 65
                                               12,36,38,54,61  PB22    12, 38,  22pb
                                               05,06,15,29,42  PB10    15, 29, 42  10pb
                                               02,11,47,62,63  PB17    02, 47, 62, 63 17pb
                                               16,19,32,34,57  PB13    16, 19, 32, 57  13pb
                                               04,08,19,27,34  PB10    04,  19, 27, 34  10pb
                                               03,51,52,61,64  PB06    52,61,64,,06pb
                                               05,39,44,47,69  PB24    05,44,47,69  24pb
                                               22,32,34,40,69  PB19    22,32,34,40,69,19pb
                                               03,12,40,52,67  PB21    03,12,40,52,67 21pb
                                               05,12,16,31,43  PB18    05,12,16,31,43  18pb
                                               26,28,31,60,67  PB23    26,31,60,67
                                               04,13,31,36,52  PB08    04,13,31,36,52
                                               02,03,40,50,62  PB05    02,40,50,62
                                               07,15,18,19,36  PB20    07,15,18,19,36  20pb
                                               07,17.27,29,40  PB25    07,17,27,29,40  25pb
                                              11,12,15,16,54   PB25    11,12,15,16,54  25pb
                                              21,31,64,65,67   PB05    31,64,65,67       05pb
                                              10,11,21,22,53   PB18    10,11,21,22,53  18pb
                                              12,13,44,52,62   PB06    12,13,44,52,62  06pb
                                              03,27,34,59,69   PB19    03,27,34,59,69  19pb
                                              14,23,32,34,68   PB03    14,32,34,68
                                              11,28,50,57,62   PB23    11,28,50,57,62  23pb
                                              10,12,13,46,50   PB21
                                              11,23,43,54,60   PB03
                                              05,08,15,22,49   PB25
                                              11,23,42,52,68   PB06
                                              24,44,53,55,63   PB19   44,53,55,63  19pb
                                              09,28,30,40,61   PB03
                                              04,28,49,60,65   PB25
                                              14,22,23,41,61   PB09
                                              30,33,35,38,64   PB22
                                              03,18,25,32,51   PB03
                                              12,25,30,52,62   PB08
                                              19,35,46,59,62   PB13
                                              02,25,33,39,64   PB17
                                              03,12,16,32,34   PB14
                                              30,47,57,66,69   PB03
                                              05,25,26,44,66   PB09
                                              20,32,52,62,69   PB23

These are the power ball numbers that have come in since October 7, drawings Wednesday and Saturday nights.
                                         

Madame de Maintenon Part 5

Through the King's Eyes

Francois favors my Queen, Adoringly
Marie Therese, my cousin twice,
Pure Innocence, Sweet Child,
Princess of Spain, became betrothed
To Create an alliance with Spain.

I love her sweet character, her gentle
Way, Pious, Faithful, Loyal to me.
No bride could be so sublime as she.
Her language is Spanish, not French,
For she has never mastered Francais.
Dull in conversation, she knows
Nothing of Worldly affairs, Fortunately
For me to have her consent without
Argument. All that is hers is mine.

She adores me, expects me to to be
Faithful only to her, which I cannot do.
I love too many others to be loyal.
I am the rooster in the henhouse
Where all the women want me to
Admire them, gift them, love them.
As King I must keep my court
Happy, Content, and Fulfilled.


My Queen cries to my mother
Because of my love for Louise.
Louise rides with me to the hunt,
She soothes me in my pain,
She is patient, kind, and gentle,
Which my queen fears will
Steal me away from her.  She does
Not realize that our wedlock is
A matter of State, a Seal that
Cannot be Broken. A romance
Is an Affair of the Heart, To
Be Mended by only Love Divine.

I love my Queen with devotion
For She is the Crown as am I.
We are in a bond that is eternal,
While Louise is an affair of the heart,
For which she finally did depart.
Only a few can understand
The requirements for a King,

A queen must be of royal blood,
For children to succeed, to fulfill
The Nation's need, the State's will.
A King must produce successors
Who will continue to reign
For Prosperity, Fecundity, Peace,
Harmony, Order, Security.
The King's burden of state
Is ruled by men of quality,
But love is fulfilled by woman's
Frivolity, Affection, and Passion.

My Queen is my heart and soul,
She reigns with me in glory.
Sweet and kind that she is,
Louise fills me with bliss.
Each is important in her way,
No reason to fear while I play.
I love both with all my heart,
Tender Marie, Gentle Louise.
Only a King will care as I.

Madame de Maintenon Part 4

Through the eyes of the King

Francois has a sharp wit and a keen eye,
She misses nothing, but minds her own affairs,
She appears discreet, humble, and unassuming.
She is such a sharp contrast to Athenais.
Demure, clam, aloof, she is frightening to many.
She seems to want nothing for her time,
Shunning marriage, suitors, and entertainments.
While Athenais must be the star, the center,
Francois prefers to avoid the Court altogether.
I doubt that she would bother with me
Except for the many children we have .
We talk quite often about my sons and daughters.
She assures me that they are healthy and well.
Except for my lame son who she nurtures as her own.
She tends to them while Athenais ignores them.
I study Francois carefully. She has no need of me.
She wants nothing from me.  What an oddity!
A stranger to my court where everyone presses me for favors,
She alone asks nothing of me.  How do I please her then?

So I question her.  I ask about her childhood.
She tells me stories that create pity in me.
She has traveled far, forced to cross the Atlantic
In a ship overcrowded, putrid food, rough seas,
To finally live with hostility and fear.
At 16, to escape the nunnery, she married.
Paul Scarron, a poet, an invalid, a man of letters,
Who taught Francois the skills of a hostess.
Quick to learn, Francois entertained all of Paris.
She bore him no children. Left a widow
Francois was known as discreet and humble.
Athenais trusted her to  care for our children.
Francois and Athenais depended upon one another.
I watched both women closely, for they fought
Screamed, and tormented each other loudly.
Who could possibly win this battle of wits?
The humble and unassuming Francois?
The haughty and mighty glamorous Athenais?

I waited.

Madame de Maintenon Part 3

through the eyes of the King

Louise, that gentle sweet tender love.
Innocent, so naive, so trusting,
I loved her with a passion that
Enflamed my very soul.
She was Heaven divine to me.
Holy, Sacred, Pure, Chaste.
No other lover has ever known
The Flower of the Universe,
Louise de la Valliere.

She gave me total trust,
Devotion, Loyalty, Purity.
Her piety tore her away from me.
She felt guilt, shame, remorse
For the Love that bore me
Four loving souls undefiled.
How could she be so insecure?
Display so many fears to
Run away to the Convent.
I implored her to stay.
She cried soulfully, praying tearfully,
But she returned to me.

All the while Athenais, wantonly desirable,
Worked her many charms, desperate,
Fed me witches potions to snare me,
Screamed, tormented by my
Deep Love for my Innocent Louise.
I was torn between the two women
One who was half demon, half witch,
The other, pure angel, divine love.
Each bore my children,   given to
The faithful and true Francois
Whose Love made them holy and divine.
The demon wrestled me away
From Purity because Innocence soon learned
That she could no longer feign Love
When her ardor and longing had cooled.

My sweet innocent Louise repented her sin,
Entered a Carmelite nunnery to pray,
Atoning for her years of love with me,
Turning against our children, spurning me.
I cried inside, nobody knew,  I loved her so.
Athenais made me forget the sin, the fragile love,
With her passionate, wanton caresses.
She aroused me like no other lover.
I succumbed to her deep, sensual desire for me.
I let her tongue soothe my deepest need,
Her hands stroking and soothing my brow.
Her breasts pressed onto my chest.
Her mouth pressed upon mine as she
Thrust her tongue into mine,  I held her close.
We became as one. I turned upon her .
Louise was gone. Athenais has won.

Madame de Maintenon Part 2

Athenais extends a slender arm,
Curtsies slowly with head bowed,
Heavy orange and jasmine fragrance
Accentuates the emerald jewels
Gracing her ample bosom.
Wearing a gown of satin and lace,
She rises with confidence
That she will command attention
From her intended lover, The King.

"Do you like this look on me?"
She questions Francois, the Widow Scarron.
Is my curtsey straight enough?
Does the necklace make my skin glow?
Madame, tell me, will I please the King?
Have I enough scent?  I implore.
She suddenly sniffed! Do I need your approval?
Please, let me know your thoughts.
You always know how to appraise me so."

Madame Scarron lifted her eyes, sighed,
"Athenais, You look proper for the court.
Perhaps a little too much rouge,
A bit heavy on the perfume,
But it will wear off soon enough.
You know that the King does not like
Heavy scents of orange and jasmine.
Why do you try to annoy him so?
That is all I will say.

Athenais pleaded, "I know. I know."
But I love the orange and jasmine scent.
The King pays me scant attention now.
He is so besotted with that Louise!
What does he see in that flaxen blonde?
She is flat chested.  She is like a boy.
Why doesn't he like me instead of her?
I want him so much to love me.
What shall I do? Please tell me."

Madame Scarron sighed softly.
"I wonder at you. You are truly wicked
To desire him when he is married to the Queen.
I do not want to encourage your lust for him.
Louise is another matter. She is soon to leave.
You have him coming to your room,
Embarrassing both Louise and the Queen.
Louise at least has honor and regrets
For the four children she has had with him.
You do not even care about your own firstborn.
You know I disapprove of this match."

Athenais shrugged, "I don't care what you think.
I must have him for myself.  He no longer loves Louise.
I wonder if he ever did.  He does not love me either.
He loves only himself.  He loves only France.
I cannot hold him without you, Francois.
You are the only hope I have of keeping him.
He is tired of Louise, I know.  He will let her go.
But I want him only to myself.  You must help me.
I must look always divine.  I must be witty.
I must keep him in line.  I must please him at all costs."

Francois turned sharply. "Me? You need me to keep him?
How is that?  I am not your keeper, Athenais.
I am only your governess.  I am caring for your children.
Because they are the Kings is the only reason that I care.
How is it that you think that I can help you in your madness?
I did not want to come to the Palace but you insisted.
Perhaps it was the King who insisted? I don't really know.
But I do not  want to be a part of your lust for the King.
You only want power, influence, and gifts.
You want to enhance yourself,  to insure your place,
You will stoop to nothing to have your way.
No, do not use me for your wicked intentions."

"Well, look me over, and tell me I am beautiful.
I will be ready for the games tonight with my lover.
I will do as I want, with or without you, Francois.
I can take care of myself.  I will enjoy myself.
You may think me wicked, but I think that I am wise.
I know what the King really likes, and it is me, not Louise.
I will make him happy and content with me.  I assure you.
I do not need your approval but you are beholden to me.
I will not let your forget that.  He is mine now."

To Madame de Maintenon

From the King:

When I first heard her voice,
Low, calm, loving,
I waited to see her face.
Bent over the sleeping child,
She sang a ditty, a song,
Slowly, peacefully,
Lulling the infant to sleep.

She looked up to see me,
A soft smile, then laughter,
Francois winked at me,
Holding the babe in her arms.
Sitting upright, she sang softly,
The babe sound asleep.

I stared at her, carefully,
I walked over to her,
Picked up the sleeping child,
Carried him to his bed,
Humming softly all the while.

I laid him down to glance back
To see the governess nod,
Her face aglow with a warmth
That radiated love divine.
She rose, bowed, and departed.

I looked at the sleeping child,
His pink cheeks glowing,
His tiny fingers clenched,
Dark eyelashes lowered,
Resting in peaceful dreams.

"I am grateful to you,"
I bowed to the Governess,
"For caring for my son."
I believe that you are
Devoted and loyal to me."

She curtsied, looked up at me
With a sharp eye, lowered her head,
"My deepest pleasure, votre majesty!
"I love this child, your son,
I shall do my duty with the
Fullest Devotion and Love that I can."

I took her hand, lifted it to my lips,
 Bowed,  and took my leave.
As I walked out the door,
I raised my head to see my carriage.
Entering, I glanced back at the home
Where my child safely dwell,
Secure and safe, my beloved son.