I have gone through many different approaches to this novel about Alexander the Great. Originally, I was following the journey that Alexander had taken in a linear way, but as I began to read many more novels that drew my attention, I began to realize that in order for me to sell this book successfully, I must take a different approach.
I had considered using the trial of Philotas to do flashbacks showing how he had behaved in a variety of situations, and emphasizing how others around him had reacted to his resentment towards Alexander acknowledging his own godliness in life. However, when I began to write the first scenes I could feel that all this was coming from within my solar plexus in a way that I found to be so very personal that I immediately sat on it.
I become very protective about information in that time period it turns out. I do not always want everyone in the world to know some things that I learn when I seem to relive that time period.
But another idea came to me about how to tell this story so that I can use Alexander in his own words throughout the novel. That I am keeping a secret for the time being as I am not sure that I want any of it to be aired until I actually begin writing it.
So again, it is all on hold for awhile. I have learned many hard lessons since I first began this study of Alexander, and one of the most important ones came to me because of the interest in Philotas. Once I learned the who of that I realized that reincarnation is a topic that is best probably left to only the few who are truly respectful and ready for it. I know that it would not be wise for many to ever learn that they had lived yesterday. Today is what counts, and forgetting the past to live only the present is a true blessing.
However, I am not going to deny the value of learning who you may have been in a past lifetime. I say may because it is always open to analysis and acceptance. I accept all that I learned when in trance as I recall it and I have analyzed it to the best of my ability to understand it. It is as much a part of me now as it was when I first discovered it. It is recalled that easily.
It is difficult to comprehend how one can be inside a person, and find oneself leaving that image but looking at it as one leaves it. I can still see that first time I learned that I had been in the person of Alexander just before the battle of Issus. I can still see his garment that he wore so well, the look of his hair, the ruddiness of his cheeks...and to realize that I had been inside that image talking to all the men that I had seen on that hillside. All that is perfectly clear to me. What an amazing story it is.
So, yes, I am very protective of those memories and those events.