A really rough week

I have all kinds of things which I keep bottled up inside and won't let out even in a blog. I have been reading many blogs, most about historical people who in all truth only a few fanatical type people really like to read. I keep up with a few but end up finding them very boring as well. But since I am into the past myself at times, I will share this tidbit here.

I wish I could draw or paint well. I can paint passably portraits and even do some sketches halfway decently but none good enough to be called artistic.

I had a vision of Alexander last evening. I have had what is called spontaneous memories many times, and I am not sure that memory is always the correct term for some things that I do experience. But last night (and most occur when resting and often in bed) I was trying to get to sleep but was thinking about the lottery game when I saw Alexander on a horse. He was dressed in full armor as he was about to lead in some battle and I cannot say which one, but this appearance really impressed me. I can still see it in my mind as I try to keep these incidents as alive as long as possible.

He was wearing a beautiful silver cuirass which was ornamental as it had many engraved reliefs, but it shone so brightly that it reminded me of the helmet that I had once seen which shone so brightly (that was for Gaugemela I am sure) but in this he was inspecting something around his leg and the dressings upon his horse. He was so confident, so relaxed and sure that I gained an insight into him. He had his helmet on with white plumes accenting the silvery helmet also...He was truly spectacular and this set of armor would have been quite an expensive and intensive piece of work to have accomplished. It showed me how much in real regard he is held by others who work for him, as well as his attitude came out so strongly to me....I cannot explain how these things occur but they do impact me and give me some insights into myself.

One thing is for sure, Alexander is one who knew how to conduct himself, and I could sense why it is that people relied upon him and his leadership, seldom ever questioning it. He had that youthful certainty that clearly defined his ability to rule.