I read the most enlightening description of depression today in a blog that Scott Oden shared on his Facebook page. In it, the author describes his years of fighting depression in which he makes a great analogy to a bathtub experience that he has suffered.
It made me think of the time that I had a circulation problem when waking up from a sleep nap that I had taken at which time I was fully conscious but immobile due to the inability to move any of my limbs my legs and arms...finally after lying there realizing that I could not move but I could think I realized how I hated that state and made myself move my body to make my arm hold me up to rise from the bed...Getting my arm to move and my body up I was able to move one leg and then the other...i walked around, making certain all my body parts worked. I was scared as all get out about it and needed to talk to someone about it so I called my cousin who thought it sounded like a ministroke. Eventually, I learned that it had not been a ministroke at all but poor circulation. Ever since, I make certain that I try not to shut off the blood supply to any part of my body...but it was a horrible feeling at which time I knew I would rather be dead than in a state like that...soon after, the man whose wife was being kept alive by some artificial means demanded that she and her baby be let to die...for which I could thank him myself for being so loving to her.
I hope never to suffer a stroke of any kind. I take care of my heart and blood vessels as best I can. I try to stay healthy because it is only health that makes us enjoy the good life.
Family, faith, and friends influence our health both positively and negatively. I had had childhood illnesses, have had bouts with the flu, meniere's disease which has fortunately disappeared, and other health problems but none that have been life threatening, and all that were able to be cured pretty quickly. I believe in mind over matter, which is essentially faith healing. I had the unique experience of having water appear from nowhere for a series of days in which I was reminded of the miracle waters of Lourdes, France so that i felt the water was there to cure me. I consider God's appearance in the form of water on the floor...It did help to heal my hand which is still on the mend. That mystery is still fully unexplained but proves that supernatural powers are around me and continue to manifest themselves from time to time. So long as they are of God they can come and go as God pleases.
Now for some help in the financial part of this experience.
I am facing bills and paperwork which will be met up this week. I have not had the emotional wherewithal or the mental capability of dealing with any of the paperwork that is involved in this problem. But I will tackle this next and no doubt detail it here as well...just so that I make a record of my state of mind during this turmoil in my life.
All for now.