If Life Were Perfect

This has been a very interesting Christmas Day for me.  Yesterday, I called my brother after having had a strange dream about my mom and dad.  I had already messaged my brother that I would call him so I hit him up at 7:00 in the morning, a shock to the system for me. But my dream had wakened me and I figured that something must be in the works so I called and learned a lot more information about my dad's health and state of mind.  I had not planned to bother him with a phone call but I caved in just before his supper time to see if I could reach him so I could say Merry Christmas and Hello. He needs yet to know that we care enough to call without making life miserable for him so I did. Overcoming all nasty thoughts that had been going through my mind for it was nice to hear his voice and speak together for a few short minutes.

He actually sounded good but then when I asked how he is feeling, he said only so so which means that he is not well.  Bryce had told me some things whether correct or not, as I noticed that Bryce was getting even his own son and grandson's names and ages all confused. I am beginning to wonder about him too.

If life were perfect, my dad would have long since passed away, but life is anything but perfect.  If life were perfect, I would not be sitting here writing this. I would be touring some foreign nation in my grand limousine and enjoying the sights.

But at any rate, I learned that being home alone at Christmas is not so bad after all.  It can be pretty bleak but I was reading some facebook post that Ron Criss had posted about the first Christmas sermon on record when to my surprise Sandra and Nina knocked on my door, and brought me some nice gifts and smiles. Bless their hearts.  Then I told them about my dad, and Sandra said that she had worked as a hospice and that his body is shutting down.  She is trying to get me to move to her mother's apartment complex which is far less expensive than this one is.

I have no idea how long my dad will last before he finally passes. I wish it could be as quick and peaceful as my mother's had been.  It would be best for him.  If life were perfect....but alas, he is having to suffer a lot of indignities as his body functions no longer work well for him.

I hope that my wish and his wish come true soon even though that will mean the end of the family unit that I have always known. I did not realize what all that means until now.  We cling to memories it seems a lot more than we know, and we sooner or later learn that our ties are far stronger than we could ever imagine. How easy it had been for me to move away from them in youth but in fact, I had to return to reunite and become family again.  It is a strange thing to be so close to people who you take so for granted, and then suddenly they are gone.

An important lesson somehow.