Nervous Wreck

I am a nervous wreck and I am using this means to just air my thoughts.

One, I will literally get rid of all items that I possess that I do not need. I am unloading all items now and have not yet found a place for most.  I do not intend to go to any expense in this new apartment. I will not buy any items to use in here but will use what I already have.  I may rent a storage room for some things just to have them secured and under lock and key.  Time will tell on that.

I do intend not to extend my lease here and will depart this apartment next July for certain. I hope to find a permanent home (?) by that time.  Permanent is a word that may not be true.  Nothing is ever permanent.

But perhaps I will find a place to call home where i can plan to live until I am put to my rest. I do not intend for that to happen anytime this year.

But when you reach my age, you wonder how many years left.  That has been consuming my thoughts for some time now.  I wish I could set a date so that I could manage my affairs better.

This event has really affected me in a very adverse way.  For one thing, I have realized that in many ways I more alone than ever, and it does not please me.  For that reason alone, I still want to spend my last years doing more than sitting around an apartment watching t.v. and going from shopping mall to shopping mall.

But I do admit that television does help make the days pass in a way that participation in outdoor activities in Arizona cannot possibly do.

I am not interested in socializing now.  I want to get my belongings arranged and sorted properly, to get myself in control as far as health and diet are concerned, and to be able to travel about freely without worry or concern about damage to my home or car.

At present, this is simply a way of talking myself into sanity once again.  I was out of my mind about a sewer roach for awhile.  I was ticked off at Dish representatives until I finally received a decent letter telling me that boxes are on their way, a tracking system will appear, and that this account is closed for certain.  What a problem that company had been for me.

I wish that people would better communicate with one another about the problems they have with various companies so we could all be of use to one another.