Today has been a rough day. I have been waking up at 6:00 for some reason in the past few weeks, and today was no different, but this time I decided to stay in bed to get more sleep. It did me good. I needed that but I had tried to keep from over exerting myself in work. I have been going at such a pace that I am worn out, tired beyond belief, and made myself keep the amount of work to a minimum.
That is nearly imposible because there is just too much to do, and I hate all the boxes lying around on the floor, in the hall, and in the nook. One can only do so much but I am trying to get it done without having a heart attack or killing myself or going insane.
So while watching Million dollar listings on Bravo, one item occurred to me that I had not yet found it so I went on a hunt to see if I could find it. I panic easily, being surviving on nerves it seems, which are frayed, so I was suddenly stricken with fear that it was missing. My little voice from within kept telling me that it was here, that I would find it. That did calm me down. And finally I found it. My little voice had been right, and it kept me from going mad. I also found two other things that I had been missing, so tonight every thing that I had missed was found.
I am thankful that I did take photos of the entire packing, moving, and unloading procedure because that did also reassure me that I had packed the object that I was seeking, but for awhile I wondered at why I could not find it, and why it was missing. I kept thinking that I might have to make a claim, something I do not want to do. I need not do it now and my faith in myself and others is reassured, but for awhile I was wondering.
Moving in itself is too much for anyone at my age, and I am happy that it is over. However, if I move again, I will rid myself of everything so that I have nothing to worry about. I am tired of all the knick knacks, books, clothes, and all the memorabilia that I have kept over the years. I can see why when one dies, one should just get rid of everything and have nothing left to worry about.
Problem is when one is living, one wants and needs many of these same items which are so frustrating just to enjoy a reasonable amount of sentimentality towards small pieces of pleasure.
It was my dad's clock that I could not find, and a reference to gold plate made me think of it, and it scared me to think that I could not recall where I had packed it. I finally found it along with some shoes that I could not find, and once I found them both, I was satisfied that everything is o.k. There are some items yet that remain unfound yet but I am hoping that they will show up before long too. I just overlook some of these things without realizing it.
One of the reasons I did it all myself with the exception of the prof is so that I could not blame anyone for anything that might go wrong.
I did not go out at all today except to take some boxes to the dumpster and to move my car from one spot to another. It was so hot early in the morning that I finally put two shelves together, set up my patio with one set, and then forced myself to rest.
I watched Millionaire listings on Bravo which showed me a side of New York City that I did not know existed. I soon learned why one wants to become a millionaire. The lifestyle in these apartment homes is unreal.
Pisses me off to be honest! All these young new rich are frankly irritating but they are living in NYC in huge numbers!
No comments:
Post a Comment