The movie Proof

Proof is a very strange movie that strangely resembles my life a bit, and that is why I am discussing it now. I picked it up at the local library and so finally took the time to see this really interesting movie about a mathematics professor who is a genius and his daughter who is for all practical purposes very much like him. Anthony Hopkins plays the role of the much admired and highly revered mathematics professor, who makes spiritual visits to his daughter who has cared for him during the past five years. She is also a mathematical genius herself, and therefore, understands her father's idiosyncrasies about his work and his passion, solving problems and attempting to bring new theories to life.

As I am anything but a mathematician, I could not or would not identify with this film except in the strangest of ways as it soon showed me. Apparently, it is also based upon a stageplay, which I understand won a Pulitzer Prize. But the sorrow is that this film does resemble some aspect of my own life and it hit home with me, registered and has made me wonder a lot about it.

It is what one of my students called Psychodrama.

This is a case of samenesses along with opposites or just the reverse. It is a protect your own butt if you are the author or producer of a film, but not long ago, I saw another film about a writer who used a boyfriend or husband as her subject for her story/play which became famous and so in a way this film resembles that to me, other than that the writer/ author is not a boyfriend/husband or anyone I even know.

Because the movie was produced two years after my mother's death, I could possibly identify the father with my mother, but I do not do that except to note that in fact, I have spent more time than that with my parents, off and on again, and in fact, did finally spend four years with my father before his attempt to commit suicide but who remains alive, now living out of the state of Arizona. He is 95 at this writing. But my brother who does resemble only slightly the sister in the story in that he has been long away from the family, appearing only infrequently, but now lets me know that he does NOT want to take care of me, exactly opposite of plot and dialogue in film, does do the same as the sister and sells the house out from under me in the same but far more cruel manner than in this film. That hit me hard as I have been angry about that for a very long time. So in those respects, I could identify with the daughter and understand her anger, depression, and feelings. As I am a neatnik, I won't allow dirty dishes to pile up so was distressed to see her house and kitchen is such a mess. I am the opposite of that also. As for the funeral, only immediate family at my mother's funeral, no pouring out of friends as she wanted it that way and got what she wanted. Only my brother, his wife, father, and myself show up at her funeral despite her having had many wonderful friends all her life long. She has not yet had a newspaper article even written up about her death. I notified the closest members of the family by phone.

I am angry with both my dad and my brother, but I stay civilized. The movie has brought about a realization that truth and fiction are pretty closely intertwined, whether by accident or design I don't know. I never heard of the author of this play or movie until I just picked it up at the library. But it hit a chord with me. I hope that my dad will soon be reunited with his wife of many years as he wants so much. It is all sorrow for now, but I am moving away from the area soon and perhaps things will change.