Anger Management

I find that it is the small things in life that annoy me the most...things dropping out of my hand onto the floor, tripping over an object, be it ever so slight, and sinus leakage so that my nose leaks...all these things irritate me more than really huge problems, even gun shootings in school zones.

On the positive side, naturally enough, a child's smile, a cute little pet, be it kitten or puppy, a rainbow, a fresh bloom, the nighttime sparkle of stars in the sky, the sliver of a golden moon...all those please me most of all too.

In summary, it is the small things that either provoke a snarl or incite a laugh, a glee of spirit...the big things overwhelm and amaze but the small things impact you.

I talked myself out of the topic I intended to write in this way.  I have been angry for such a long time over the circumstances in my life.  I live life that is practically unendurable except for my age and the knowledge that it will soon change.

You see, I have been living in a state of poverty for so long that it has affected me seriously.  Not in the way that most people would imagine, but two things working against me are naturally age and people's biases and prejudices.

One, there is very little that I can do to change anything until my dad is finally passed into the next life and out of this one. With a death certificate, the trust that is to be divided between me and my brother will come into effect and I will emerge into another tax bracket. 

I began work when a child. I was underage when I first began to babysit, then I became a waitress, but I had a work permit, and eventually I got a social security card.  I paid into the system in every job that I had except one, and that was the time spent working as a teacher in California in which the money was paid into a retirement fund in California instead of social security. I was sadly unaware of this so that when the time came for me to collect social security I learned that I needed 11 more credits or two more years of employment to get social security benefits.  That remains the same now as when I first learned of it because I have not become hired by some employer to get those benefits and to do a job of any kind.