Tonight I woke up from a nap, and had serious problems with my circulation, which has happened before. I have limbs that sometimes will not move, and it is a very frightening thing to happen. My hand at one time had become numb so that it would not and could not move, and here I was with a hand limped over. I thought that I could be close to death tonight as I felt so bad and my eyesight was poor, and my circulation again had created that sense of immobility. I wonder what dying is really like, and then I came back to normal, and forced myself to move, and wondered if I should worry about this.
I ate dinner then, and am still on the salad part of it. No, I am not prepared to die, and my inner voices which give me counsel have always told me I will live several more years. If I am correct, I should live to be 87 or 88, and that is a very real possibility, all without pacemakers too.
I am of the firm belief that faith alone keeps me going as I believe that when God wants me to go, I will go.
But I am speaking of it now because I really did think that I was having too hard a time tonight, and I am wondering if I should somehow or other find future housing where I will have easy access to medics. should anything happen to me.
There is an interesting discussion on facebook about alcoholics and addiction as someone wrote a blogpost about it. I do not have a real problem with alcohol but I have been addicted to t.v., and maybe a bit to Pepsi Cola. I have cut down my use of Pepsi a lot, but the general idea is that people think that they are not worth anything at all.
People have a way of making people feel that way, and I will explain my story now.
I left California in 1974. I had returned to Azusa after a year's leave of absence, and whether to punish me or the principals I was assigned to a new school system which did not work out for me. I was placed in the 8th grade. Believe me, a reputation in a school system takes years to build, and while I had had a great reputation at Gladstone, I was an unknown at Center Intermediate. 8th grade and I are totally incompatible and while all the kids there knew that our classroom was being used for a t.v. show, the children were anything but helpful to me in keeping my job and sanity in that situation. Welcome Back Kotter was made with my classroom being used as the model for the show. T.V. made a sex change from Karen Valentine in Room 222 to Gabriel Kaplan in Welcome Back Kotter. A fellow teacher who had been a student in Azusa was also the model upon whom Kaplan based his role as well...so that it was partly my homeroom and the other guy's homeroom...I remember it well!
This story is long and I am going to break it at this point now...will place videos of both Room 222 and Welcome Back Kotter on here to follow this.
No comments:
Post a Comment