Portrait of Philip

I was once asked by Ian Worthington if Philip had had a scar or patch over his eye when I told him that I had seen him in a regression. The answer is no, he had not had any patch or even the appearance of his blind eye. Philip had very curly hair, and he reminded me of Phil Harris, an old time star in music. Philip is to my mind a very handsome man. He was young at the time as Alexander was only a child as well, and he, like Alexander, had a ruddy type complexion. His hair is very dark, very tightly curled, and at that time, did not have a beard. But he was able to see out of only one eye, and the other simply was untouched. When looking at him, you could see both eyes, and not realize that one was blind.

But one must realize how remarkable this is that he led men in battle, he trained them, he continued to impact as a statesman and official to Greece, all while under this handicap of being able to see through one eye. I think that that is totally remarkable, especially in times of battle.

Therefore, it is probably very important to consider how much reliance he placed on Alexander at the Battle of Charonea, as well as how much he depended upon his other generals, Parmenio, in particular.

When I saw him he was relaxed, a bit drunk, and very solicitous to Alexander in the beginning of his visit. He had been very proud of Alexander's ability to tame a horse which nobody else could touch without the horse bucking and fighting them.

He clearly has a respect for Alexander's ability to handle the cantankerous horse and he is demonstrating it, but he is likewise a wee bit tipsy and more interested in carousing than in spending quality time with his son. I could sense that he wanted to return to his adult friends...

But he did come to visit with Alexander and to commend him for his ability and talent with the notorious horse...It was an occasion of great pride for both.

Now to write this in a story I would rewrite it in a form of dialogue and description totally different from what I am doing here. But this is where it gets sticky wicky for me.

When writing, one has to have a different perspective than when one is merely relating and recalling the incident itself. For one thing, it is important to me to impact what it is like to be suddenly whisked from one time period to another. But let me explain something else on that score...I got in touch with a relative who I had not seen since my class reunion, and in looking at his photos, I was suddenly able to remember when I last visited his home in Ohio when I had been a teacher in California. The entire memory of the house, the inhabitants, and the feelings came back to me so that I was in a sense back in time there again...and those times have passed too. So that made me realize what it is when I go back centuries to recall events as they took place then.

The difference between writing a story about Alexander's experience with his father is that in one case, one is recalling as best one can all the details. I could see Alexander's legs which were within my view, but being in him, I did not see his appearance at all, all I saw was Philip's. Philip is a handsome man even when drunk.

When I told my mother about Philip, she made the comment that he reminded her of her father...in some ways, I could see that...very little doubt that that is true...My mother did not like it that I had thought she had been Philip. She was making me know that he was more like her father than like her, but the problem is that I often said she reminded me at times of her father too, and she would say well, after all she is his daughter so perhaps she did.

I bought a book on Alexander simply because of a paragraph in it which described Philip and that paragraph alone also described my mother to a tee as well...but I had sensed at the time of seeing Philip that he is my mother now...even though she does not drink excessively at all, is totally different, but that is only to be expected as well...because one had been a drunken sot in one time period does not mean that one would be a drunken sot in another...but probably totally reformed...I cannot say that my mother had been Philip at all and it is not my place to do that either. I do not even say that I call it reincarnation many times, but I do say that when I am back in time I am in the person of Alexander as I had been in that sudden whisk back into that moment when Alexander is realizing his only friend is his horse.

Sad to say that my granddad had been a drunken sot a lot and that is why she could see that Philip and he were more alike than she probably would admit to being. But like with many women, instead of alcohol, the abuse is food and sweets so that she became a bit obese.

The value of learning of lifetimes past is helpful only to the person who is convinced that he or she has been that person of the past, and is having to learn what it is then that affects the present. I learned through Tyre the truth about what in Alexander then that is the same within me today that totally convinced me beyond any doubt that while he and I are one and the same as I believe that we are, that only inner knowledge about character proved it to me. It is strange at how we can fight our own self...but finally give in to it. I am one of the most determined persons in the world, and I saw myself as I looked at Tyre, and by dang, that job would be done...that is when I fully recognized myself at last...and admitted it.

I did look a bit demonic then...I will admit that..I can see why people thought of me as a demon then. I had the drive and the determination to bring this city down, and by golly, it was going to come down, and I made certain that it did. That is when I realized that I am the same then as I am today in certain things in life.

That was probably the most important lesson I learned of Alexander to help me better understand myself now. When I make up my mind to do something, I will do it, come hell or high water. I then do believe that that experience is the only reason that George Washington won the American Revolutionary war so that America stands as it does today. So I do see a strand from one lifetime to another that does make sense to me.

But you see, these character traits get lost in the telling of history. The history books just simply convey that the city finally gets sacked and away we go. The trips to times past tell me something more about the entire affair, and that is the whole point of it!