Last evening I read a blog by Madame Guillotine. I remember Melanie from her discussion group on Marie Antoinette at yahoo. She and Elena both began two different discussion groups: one on Louis XIV by Elena and the other on Marie Antoinette by Melanie. I see that Melanie still likes pink so much. Axel is using excerpts from a book she has written. I read parts of her secret diary of MA and it is quite interesting.
I am always trying to explain what reincarnation means to me since I had the luxury of being able to relive times past...I am woman today. I have always been attracted to boys and men in my life. I am always attracted to women when I am in the past and in the person of a man. I have never had any homosexual tendencies in either the present or the past. Women today have no appeal for me as men in the past had no appeal to any of the men in whom I had found myself.
I am trying to explain that learning of the famous as I have learned places me in the category of a wannabe or a delusionary by those who do not believe me, and I am well aware of that. I take the consequences of my life's actions then as seriously now as I had performed them then.
I am well aware that deep inside me, I am the same in each and every lifetime, whether male and leading the pack, or female, and letting someone else lead. I have always wanted to find a man who is my ideal, which would be my counterpart, of course, but learning of past lifetimes has made me know that the only man for me would have to be one of the women of the past who is now a man.
In the movie Grease I saw myself as I had apparently either told the story so much or else someone was eavesdropping on me then too and heard me...I was at a dance at the YWCA when a partner said to me, Let me lead. That is in the movie Grease and I recognized it immediately. Another character in that movie is using me also in another dating experience when I accidentally spilled a milkshake all over my date at a drive in. I saw through both characters as both look a lot like me at a high school prom also. At my class reunion, I did remind the one upon whom I spilled the milkshake and learned then that he had forgotten it totally.
I have always been seen as the Ugly Duckling or Eleanor Roosevelt image many times. That is a definite manipulation and setup. I know that now. But when I was young, I had no idea. Eventually, we reach an age where we can see and learn how much other people have influenced us, and affected us by their thoughts and deeds. In high school, I was not the most popular or well liked. I was always on the cleanup committee for proms and school plays, though I was once the makeup artist for a school play...like the charwoman on the Carol Burnett show.
Had I ever been told at an early age that I had been any one of the men whose lives I have come to know I would have been severely impacted by it. I had no liking of General George Washington when I was a young child. His demeanor did not make me feel warmth and love in him, and he left me cold. He is taught to school children in such a way that he is out of reach of any to understand, despite the fact that I know he was well liked and respected by most. I just found fault with him. So what a surprise when I finally learned that in fact I had been him in a former lifetime, and believe me, I know that nobody would ever want to accept that fact but a few who have come to know me well. I was told by a friend that when I was teaching, I handled my class in a military manner. She had been observing me. I had no idea that I had been doing that...I never forgot it. I always taught lessons from stories in our literature books, and a lesson to learn is that to lead, one must learn how to follow. Another from the Miracle Worker which is about Helen Keller is that to learn, one must obey.
I had been told of my iq so that eventually did impact me. I learned later that that person who had told me had been correct about it. Why a school counselor would tell my friend that about me is more than I can know. But that is what happened so that she did confide in me. Numbers did not mean much to me then, but later learning that she had been correct truly got to me. I saw the proof myself as the school showed me the evidence which was written. Strange to me even now that a school counselor would tell my friend something about me that way.
Since I learned that I could have been the great general, who does look like my grandmother and her mother, I admit, then I gave him his chance. My greatgrandmother's birthday is the same day as the new day for GW, and my birthday is the old day which is in his Bible, Feb. 11. Believe it or not, there is a picture of me holding my grandmother's hand and we are posed side by side. She looks like a picture of GW on the cover of a book that I have, as he is portrayed standing by his horse. Lean and lanky then..guess what...JFK and JFK,jr. are posed in the same way only seen from the back as my grandmother and I are seen from the front...I met both JFK and JFK, jr. in person as a side note here...I am fond of both.
Their photo was taken in the White House and is world famous. My grandmother's and my photo are taken in the yard of a country home.
I was very young then...but the irony is that we are together Feb.22 and Feb.11..strange facts but true. Her married name is Walters.
I decided to learn who GW had been and what he had done. I am impressed now with his similarity to Alexander in many ways, but I also realized that his task was much more difficult than Alexander's had been. So the time spent in Alexander in my opinion is what made the soul able to do what Washington did for the creation of this nation. In truth the root soul is who I am most interested in now, as I see this tree of Washington,Khan, Louis XIV, Alexander, and others, as being all from the same root soul, and all branches from it...each bearing their own individual fruit.
A lesson I realized is that in each case, the civilization created does die out eventually, and a new one is reborn, giving rise to a new and different lifestyle, and I expect that this will continue. I can safely say that if I am reborn a male in a future time, that a new nation will most likely arise.
I have gone back and re-edited some of this, added quite a lot to it...I was always a fan of JFK by the way, and I met up with him on three occasions, when he was only a Senator...and then later at Lake Tahoe I sat with JFK, jr. playing a game in a casino. He was a very quiet, well behaved young man then, and the three of us, his friend, him, and myself, all played a casino game til I had to leave...Only in People magazine did he give evidence of that day for me to know...I liked him better than I liked his father. But I had been totally sold on JFK during his administration as he was a young and vital person who was replacing the old grandfatherly image of Ike.
My initials are JF and I have always been associated with K's...Kent State University, Kearsley High School, Kathleen's, and on and on...the 11th number in the alphabet is K, and my birthday is K or the 11th, and so I always see the relationships between me and JFK. NO accident that he was shot down on November 22, 1963, a day when the faculty and student body of Cortez High School had our photos taken for the annual. We were all shot that day too in the sense of photography, and the Principal's last name begins with K also. No accident...I have always been suspicious as Nixon and Watergate finally reached me about this political aspect of my life.
Jackie likened JFK to either George Washington or Napoleon, I learned later, at a photography even which I saw here in Phoenix Arizona at Saks Fifth Avenue.\
No accident about the political parallels between me and Presidents of the USA...
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